


Three Months

by PitViperOfDoom



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: But you know how this is going to end, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fredashi, Gogo is best ghost-winglady, M/M, Nerds in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-03-16 05:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 61,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3476399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitViperOfDoom/pseuds/PitViperOfDoom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In three months, Tadashi Hamada will die.</p><p>But that is neither here nor there. It is, after all, three months away.</p><p>And a lot can happen in three months.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Weird Friendships

_It's a Monday._

_The semester is in full swing. Students are hard at work, as always, between classroom assignments, projects, and the odd upcoming midterm. The school's mascot has been spinning signs and waving to campus tours since after lunch, and as the sun goes down he ventures into the lab to meet with his friends. One of them, during a moment of respite from his project, pauses to smile at him. He smiles back. Two others glance up, then grin and wave. The fourth snaps her gum and tries not to smirk too widely. She knows things, certainly more than she'll let on. But she doesn't know everything._

_For example – in three months, Tadashi Hamada will die. She does not know that._

_But that is neither here nor there. It is, after all, three months away._

_And a lot can happen in three months._

* * *

It's difficult to say when it started, but it wasn't that day, or that week, or even that year. It wasn't even a Monday, probably. Perhaps it was on a Friday, six years prior.

As Fridays went, Tadashi supposed this one could have gone a little better. His sweater was ripped, knuckles scraped, and most of his papers lay scattered on the ground. Eye smarting from a glancing punch, he struggled, kicked, and yelled, to no avail. The three seniors were all larger than him, and they'd gotten the jump on him when his hands were full struggling with his backpack ( _that's it I'm investing in a messenger bag_ ) before half-dragging, half-carrying him away from his secluded locker. One of them had him in a headlock, while the other two held his flailing legs still. Half blind with panic, he had barely half a minute to wonder what they were doing before he felt himself be lifted up like a sacrificial animal and flung. He flailed briefly in midair before meeting with a soft landing – smack in the middle a bed of garbage. Gagging, he flung his arm out and accidentally crunched his knuckles against a hard surface that rang when he struck it – the side of a dumpster.

They'd flung him into a goddamn dumpster.

The smell was overwhelming, and he gagged again and struggled into a sitting position, just in time to hear the three of them laughing uproariously amongst themselves as they ran off. Tadashi seethed to himself, and wiped his grimy arm on his equally grimy pant leg.

Beneath him, someone wheezed.

Tadashi shot up with a yelp of alarm, lost his balance, and would have fallen face first into the trash again if he hadn't flung his hands out and caught himself against the edge of the bin. He turned, wide-eyed.

When the seniors had thrown him in the dumpster, they hadn't checked to see if it was already occupied. Tadashi had landed on another boy and crushed him facedown in the trash.

For a moment he could only stare in dismay. “I am _so sorry_.”

The other boy struggled up and spat out a candy wrapper. “No worries – ow.” With one gawky arm he reached up to straighten the stocking cap on his head, before turning to face him. At the sight of Tadashi staring at him, the guy grinned. “Oh hey, what's up. You come here often?”

Tadashi blinked owlishly. “Um?”

The boy snorted on a laugh. “I’m kidding. Nice shiner, dude.”

His hand went to his smarting eye. _Aunt Cass is going to have a fit_. “Um, thanks? Did you get thrown in here too?” He realized how stupid a question it was as soon as he asked it.

The other boy rolled his shoulders, looking a lot less upset about this than he should have. “Yep! They tossed in my Magic cards, too. And I _just_ bought these, so.” He held up about half a deck. “If you see one, lemme know, kay?” Without another word he stooped and busied himself rooting through the trash.

Tadashi watched him, faintly astonished, before remembering his own belongings. He glanced over the edge of the dumpster and saw his backpack lying on the ground, one side flattened from being stepped on. All around it were papers and worksheets, and his binder with the rings opened lying among them. Grumbling, he climbed over the side, hopped down, and set about gathering his things. Behind him, rustling from the dumpster told him the other boy was continuing his search.

Without bothering to organize anything, he closed the binder rings and stuffed everything into his backpack. He had two more classes and nothing due – he could afford to wait until he was home before he put everything back together. Just as he was shouldering his pack, the bell rang to signal the end of lunch break.

He glanced toward the school building. That gave him seven minutes before he had to be sitting in math class to avoid a tardy. And Tadashi was never tardy.

With one last look at the building, he turned and went back to the dumpster. Grasping the edge with both hands, he raised himself up on tiptoe to look inside again.

“Hey.”

The boy looked up at the sound of his voice, still grasping his small deck of cards.

Tadashi boosted himself up higher until his chin was over the edge. “Need some help?”

“You sure?” The other boy's eyes lit up a little.

“Meh. Why not.” Tadashi shrugged. It was a bit of a struggle, but with a helping hand from Magic Card Guy, he managed to haul himself up, over, and into the dumpster again. Once inside, he crouched down and started helping him root through the trash. “You know what cards you're missing?”

“Baneslayer Angel and Elderscale Wurm are the ones I really want back. I can do without the others, they're land and nonpermanent spell cards. You play?”

“Not really,” Tadashi admitted.

“I can teach you,” the boy offered with a hopeful smile. “It's fun.”

“That'd be cool. Oh!” Tadashi nudged aside a cardboard box and a crumpled chip bag to retrieve a card. He held it out triumphantly. “Found one.”

The boy leaned over to take it from him. “Sweet! Thanks.” He returned the card to the deck, and held up his free hand for a fist bump.

Grinning, Tadashi returned it. “My name's Tadashi.”

The boy grinned back. “Cool name, dude. I'm Fred.”

* * *

Friendships tend to survive high school in the same way that interpersonal alliances will likely survive the zombie apocalypse. When supplies are scarce and danger lurks around every corner ready to pounce and tear out your insides, having people you can trust to share their snacks and health packs can be the difference between life and death, stability and insanity.

The friendships that survive _past_ high school, though – those are the gems.

Friendship with Fred, Tadashi decided, was a gem.

It didn’t work out in the way that high school movies had taught Tadashi to expect. They had never been to each other's houses – Hiro was still skittish around strangers, especially older boys, and Tadashi assumed Fred had his own reasons – and they somehow managed to share everything while still leaving out obvious little details. Tadashi raved about his brother and Fred knew he lived with his aunt, but it was well over a year before he thought to mention that his parents were dead. Fred, in return, came out to him matter-of-factly while they were bored out of their skulls on a sophomore field trip, but it wasn’t until the following year that Tadashi found out that his last name was Whitmore.

Still, they hung out and played card games, they freaked out over movies together, they guy-hugged and rough-housed and made nonsensical inside jokes and went halves on pizza.

Once upon a time Tadashi would have called it a weird friendship. But then college came and he met Ethel Kim, and then Pamela Aiko Rosales, and finally David J. Tucker, and he realized that every friendship was a weird friendship. Whatever it was, it lasted, and when Ethel and Pamela and David came wandering into his lab and then his life, he had a hunch that they could last, too.

Then Fred found a way to join him at SFIT, not as a student but as the school mascot of all things. It was almost as much a cause for jubilation as Tadashi’s first admission into the school – no more restricting their friendship to text messages between classes and bro dates squeezed in wherever their busy schedules had a gap in common. Fred wormed his way into the group, into Ethel and Pamela and David’s hearts, and before Tadashi knew it, they were sitting in a bar to celebrate Fred’s twenty-first.

There was only one problem - Tadashi wasn’t twenty-one yet.

At least he wasn’t alone. David - Wasabi, at this point - was sitting next to him nursing a glass of water. The fact that he owned a van made him the only option for designated driver, though his mild distaste for alcohol certainly helped. The two of them split a plate of nachos as they watched Fred laugh it up nearby with the artists formerly known as Ethel and Pamela. Respectively, Gogo was twenty-one already, and Honey was a self-proclaimed “drunk whisperer”, which basically meant she was content to instagram photos of the ensuing hijinks.

He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t feeling a bit left out.

“Well this is fun,” Wasabi said dryly, for the seventeenth time that evening (Tadashi had counted). “Tons of fun.”

“Meh. The nachos are good.” Tadashi popped a chip laden with ground beef and cheese into his mouth and chewed. “And the place is pretty clean.”

“True.” Wasabi gave his surroundings a quick once-over, and managed to avoid going for the hand sanitizer in his pocket. “I guess if I was gonna drink anywhere, here’s not so bad.”

Tadashi smirked. “I’ll keep that in mind.for when mine rolls around.”

“Watch out, Honey’s birthday is coming up.” Wasabi smirked slightly at him. “Then you’ll be the only one.”

Tadashi pulled an exaggerated pout at him. “Woe is me. Seven months in hell. I’ll try to bear it.” He turned back to the spectacle their friends were making. God that looked fun... and he’d been hoping to be able to celebrate Fred’s birthday, well, _with Fred_. “Speaking of Honey, I hope she’s getting good pictures of this.”

“Same here.” Wasabi followed his gaze. “I’m gonna need to scrapbook this later.”

“Awesome. I can help out if you-”

Right on cue, the alcohol got the better of Fred’s unprepared stomach, which emptied itself on the floor. Honey Lemon shrieked as the splatter narrowly missed her heels, and Gogo almost cried laughing.

“Welp, Fred’s had enough,” Tadashi said dryly. He turned to Wasabi to snark further, and found himself staring into the saddest, most desperate pair of eyes he had ever seen. _Oh, no._ Of course this would happen. Of course Fred puking would force Wasabi to draw the line - why would he have expected any different. “Wasabi, no.”

Hiro could take wibbling lessons from this guy. Good God, was his lip trembling?

“Wasabi, I came here on a moped.”

Could those eyes get any bigger?

“I didn’t even bring my extra helmet, it’s not safe! You like safety, don’t you? It’s like your second favorite thing besides scrapbooking. Third if you count the laser beams.”

Turns out yes. Yes they could.

Tadashi sighed deeply. He sat back, grabbed a small handful of nachos, and rolled his eyes. “Fine. _I’ll_ give him a ride home.” Wasabi gave him grateful smile that was just as dewy as the puppy eyes. Feeling vengeful, Tadashi shoved the handful in his mouth and made a point to wipe his hand on his cardigan and his mouth on his sleeve. The look of betrayal on Wasabi’s face gave him the strength to cross to the other table, heave Fred upright, and sling one of his friend’s arms over his shoulders. Fred was a deadweight, sagging against him with a gurgle, and for a moment Tadashi braced himself for a repeat performance. Miraculously it never came.

Honey’s smile was equal parts sunny and amused. “Wasabi convinced you to give him a ride?” Beside her, Gogo smirked and winked and what was that supposed to mean? He’d never understand drunk people.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” he grumbled. “C’mon, Fred, I need you awake enough to tell me where the hell you live.”

Fred whined at him but clung dutifully - and a little more enthusiastically than was really necessary - and Tadashi had to practically carry him outside while their friends surrounded them like a giggling punch-drunk (or literally drunk, in Gogo’s case) honor guard.

“I owe you one.” Wasabi reached over to pat his shoulder, but apparently decided that the risk of touching Fred was too high, and shoved his hand back in his pocket.

“Oh, I know,” Tadashi said meaningfully as he helped Fred stagger to his moped. This was going to be a trick and a half - short of strapping him on like a dead deer, how was he supposed to keep him from falling off? He cast one last wistful glance at the van before heaving his drunk, staggering friend onto the back of his moped. “Just hang on to - Fred, let go, come on.” Fred’s skinny arm hung stubbornly around his shoulders in a droopy half hug.

“Don’t wanna,” Fred said petulantly.

“Fred we gotta go, quit it.” With one hand, Tadashi managed to clip his helmet on. “Where do you live?”

“Nooooo,” Fred whined.

“Stop being a baby and just tell me your address.” It was a challenge when Fred wouldn’t let go of him, but he managed to get situated on his moped. “I’m not taking you to _my_ place like this, because this is not how I want to introduce you to my aunt. Or my brother.”

There was one advantage to Fred’s clinging; if he kept up the octopus act, he’d probably stay on better. On the other hand, it was distracting - which was weird because Fred had never been shy about invading his personal space, and it had never been a problem before. (He’d once completed a history essay and a lab report in high school while Fred repeatedly headbutted him between the shoulder blades. Fred didn’t faze him anymore.)

Finally, somehow, he managed to coax a garbled address out of Fred. It took him a few tries to spell it right when he entered it into the GPS on his phone - like hell was he asking Fred for street directions in his state. Behind him, his drunk friend shifted on his perch and tightened his arms around Tadashi’s middle. “Dude come on, stop fidgeting.”

“You’re warm,” Fred mumbled into his back.

Rolling his eyes, Tadashi looked over the directions and revved his scooter. “Let’s get you home, buddy.”

With Fred sprawled over the back of his scooter, Tadashi took off as cautiously as he could. Luck held - with Fred’s arms looped firmly around Tadashi’s midriff, there wasn’t nearly as much danger of him slipping off as Tadashi had thought. Still, he drove his scooter gingerly, to lessen the risk of Fred losing whatever semblance of balance he had, or losing the rest of his dinner. He hadn’t ridden this carefully since he’d first started learning.

Looking back, he wasn’t sure what he had been expecting to find. But as he rode through the dark streets, he realized that the city around him was growing gradually more pleasant. He felt a knot loosen in his chest, a knot that he hadn’t realized was there before - so Fred lived in a nice part of town, apparently. That was good to know. It certainly made him feel better about riding through it late at night with his intoxicated friend draped over his back.

_Are these houses getting bigger?_

He frowned slightly, double-checking the GPS directions and the address. This couldn’t be right. Nice part of town was one thing, but this was starting to look a little too nice for a guy who wore the same shirt for four days in a row.

Distracted by his surroundings, he didn’t see the upcoming iron gate in front of him until he screeched to a halt just short of a collision. Bewildered, he turned to see a kiosk on one side of the barrier, and checked his directions again. Beyond the gate, the road stretched onward through homes that looked less like houses and more like mansions.

“Uh… Fred?”

“Mrfle?”

“We’re at a gated community, what’d you say your address was again?”

It would have taken a much more skilled linguist to decipher the gurgle that emerged from Fred’s throat. Tadashi was about to ask him to repeat himself when he felt a small patch of dampness spread along his shoulder. _Okay on second thought don’t repeat that._

Without warning, the kiosk window slid open. Tadashi whipped his head around and stared, wide-eyed as a deer in the middle of the road, sitting on a moped with a half-conscious drunk leaning against him and what he could only assume was bile on his shoulder.

A portly, frizzy-headed middle-aged woman poked her head out and stared back past half-lidded eyes. One eyebrow arched. “Sakes alive. Hon, that boy better be legal.”

Tadashi blinked owlishly at her, glanced over his (unsoiled) shoulder at Fred, and turned back. “Um… he’s twenty-one?”

The woman’s eyes opened fully, and both eyebrows shot upward. “Already? Feels like just yesterday he was this high.” She held up one hand at elbow height. “Lord save us, I must’ve blinked. Go on in, hon.” The gate creaked and rattled open. “Thanks for bringing him back in one piece.”

Cautiously, Tadashi rode through. “Um… you’re welcome, I guess.”

“Just up the road, take a right. Whitmore residence is at the end of the street. You have a nice night, hon.”

“Thanks.” Somewhat encouraged, Tadashi followed the woman’s directions. Up the road, to the right, and then the end of the street. Sure enough, it matched up with what his GPS was telling him. Still, passing by towering houses, he couldn’t help feeling a tad intimidated. Fred seriously lived in one of these things?

By the time he pulled up in front of the correct address, the lateness of the hour was starting to catch up with him. But when he looked up past the front gate and took in the house that was, supposedly, Fred’s house, his drooping eyelids flew open wide.

“What.”

Somehow the place was even bigger and fancier-looking than the other ones he had passed. Looking at it, Tadashi half-expected to see free-range peacocks wandering the property and hear Mozart music emanating from the air around them.

Carefully he pulled his moped up to the front and killed the engine. “Okay, Fred,” he murmured. “We’re here.” His throat bobbed a little. “I think.” Hanging his helmet on the handlebars, he dismounted and began the laborious task of heaving Fred upright and dragging him up the walkway.

As usual, his friend was refusing to cooperate. Rather than hanging his arm around Tadashi’s shoulders like a normal person, Fred decided that the very best way for them to make the journey was if he kept his arms wrapped around Tadashi’s middle and stumbled along with an abominably low center of gravity. Halfway up the walkway, Tadashi gave up trying to correct the situation and settled for putting one foot in front of the other and keeping Fred from accidentally pantsing him. He was torn between laughing uncontrollably and yelling at him.

“I’m sure one day we’ll look back on this and laugh,” he remarked. “At least, I’ll be laughing. This is prime blackmail material, I hope you realize that.”

They were almost at the door when it opened abruptly. Tadashi froze, startled, as a straight-backed man in an immaculate tuxedo emerged to meet them. His first thought was _Oh no is this Fred’s dad,_ but no, it couldn’t be, not with a poker face like that. Tadashi was standing in front of a mansion, and that was definitely a butler.

A _butler_.

“Good evening.” The man inclined his head respectfully.

“ _What_.”

“Heathcliff!” Fred’s voice was wobbily and muffled with his face squashed against Tadashi’s side. “My man.”

The butler - Heathcliff, apparently - seemed to suppress a sigh as he stepped forward. “Thank you for bringing him home, suh. My apologies for any inconvenience.” With careful hands he gently pried Fred’s arms from around Tadashi’s sides and expertly slung one of said arms over his shoulders. Tadashi gaped - what he’d struggled to do all the way up the walkway, this guy had managed in less than the space of one breath. “Welcome home, Master Frederick. Did you have a pleasant evening?” Fred mumbled something in reply. “Indeed.” The man’s face never shifted from its expression of dry blankness as he turned back to Tadashi. “Would you care to come in? A cup of tea is the very least I can offer.”

Tadashi thought about politely declining, riding home exhausted after midnight with bile drying on his shoulder, and waking the whole house up on his way to bed. He considered it, and mentally shrugged at himself. “I don’t see why not. Thank you, Mr…. uh, Heathcliff?”

“Of course.” Heathcliff gave him another respectful nod and led the way back up the walkway. Before Tadashi could think of anything else to say, the butler spoke again. “Would I be correct in assuming that your name is Tadashi Hamada?”

“Y-yes.” Tadashi blinked, startled. “Has Fred mentioned me?” It made sense that he would, he reasoned. They had been friends since they were fourteen, after all.

Something very close to a smile flitted across Heathcliff’s otherwise unchanging expression. “Something of the sort,” he replied, and opened the door to admit them both.

 


	2. Once Bitten

Fred awoke the next morning with the kind of slowness that felt like easing out of a sucking mud puddle. Immediately he wished he hadn’t. It was as if there was an alien parasite taking up residence in his brain, but instead of mind controlling him and turning him against his friends and loved ones, it was fine with just setting up and playing taiko drums in his skull. He rolled over with a strangled sob, clutching his head, and managed to pry his sticky eyelids apart by rubbing at them. The room was blessedly dark, the drapes pulled to keep sunlight out.

Uncrossing his eyes, he managed to focus on his bedside table, where a glass of water and an Ibuprofen tablet waited for him. The clock read 8:52, and there was a note left on a piece of cardstock, written in large, thick letters. **Breakfast whenever you are ready, Master Frederick.**

 _Good ol’ Heathcliff._ Struggling out from under the blankets, he grabbed the glass, popped the pill in his mouth, and did his best to sip and swallow. Once the glass was half drunk, he shakily set it down again, flopped onto his back, and waited for the pounding to recede.

He must have called Heathcliff for a pick-up at some point, but he didn’t remember doing that. To be fair, there was quite a lot he didn’t remember about last night. He had been laughing it up with with the guys, considering going over to steal a handful of nachos, and then everything blurred and now he was here. That was an annoying surprise. He’d expected to crash at someone’s place, but he’d planned a pick-up point with his butler just in case that wasn’t an option. If he wasn’t sober enough for long-term memory, then it was a miracle that he’d been sober enough to manage that. Oh, well. He could get details from Heathcliff.

When he could finally sit up without feeling the urge to cry, he drank the rest of the water and managed to wander out of his room again to the kitchen. Wakey-wakey, eggs and bakey, he could smell it from all the way down the hall. His headache receded even further.

Half-awake, he staggered into the kitchen and found his way to the oven by muscle memory. Grabbing the mitt hanging off the handle, he opened it and took out the plate of bacon, eggs, and toast that waited for him. Hopefully Heathcliff had more water glasses for him at the table.

Humming the theme song to _Steven Universe_ , he wandered out to the kitchen table, put his plate down before he could drop it, and leaned his hip against the table as his headache flared again.

“Morning.”

“G’morning,” he mumbled.

“You okay?”

Fred pressed the palm of his hand to his forehead. “Hangover.”

“Heh, yeah, I figured.”

“Yeah, well-” Fred stopped. He blinked, took his hand away, and looked up to see Tadashi sitting at the table and regarding him with an amused expression over the rim of his coffee mug.

Fred shrieked.

He immediately regretted it. His headache spiked, and he spent another few moments pressing his hands over his eyes and muttering “ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.” Nope, yelling had not been a good idea. It was the worst idea, actually. The worst possible idea. Was he still standing vertically? Where was the table again? Which way was the floor pointing?

Before he could do something even lamer than shrieking, like falling over maybe, he felt hands grasping his shoulders, steadying him. “Hey, whoa, hey. Sorry about that, Fred, I shouldn’t have surprised you. You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just-” Fred slid his hands back and opened his eyes and _whoa, Tadashi was really close when did that happen_. “Um. What. What are you doing here?”

Tadashi frowned at him a moment longer, as if making absolutely sure he wasn’t going to fall over, before releasing him. Fred remembered that breathing was a thing, and tried to inch back as politely as he could. “I ended up giving you a ride home. Wasabi wouldn’t do it after you puked.”

“I puked?”

“Don’t worry, you missed Honey’s shoes.” His friend grinned crookedly at him, and he could feel his insides coiling up with embarrassment. “Your, ah, butler offered to let me crash here, and I didn’t feel like going home that late and waking up my aunt and my brother.”

A wave of panic went through him. Fred moved without thinking, catching Tadashi by the upper arms. “Pleasedon’ttellanyone!” The plea spilled out of him in a string noise.

“What.” Tadashi gaped at him, bewildered.

Fred took a deep breath and let it out as words. “Look, it’s really embarrassing when people I know find out and stuff gets weird it always has I mean private school was a drag and I hated it and it took my ‘rents til fifth grade to let me go to public school instead and it really sucked when people found out and I don’t want to go there again and I’m _really sorry_ I didn’t tell you because I wanted to but it just never came up and I never found the right way to-”

“Fred, breathe!”

Cut off mid-babble, Fred clamped his mouth shut and obeyed. “Sorry.” He let go, stepped back again, and put his hands behind his back to hide the shaking. “I’m just - look, man, it’s been a while since anyone found out, and lemme tell you it was not fun last time.”

“Okay, okay. Hey.” Fred looked up, and without another word of warning Tadashi mashed his stocking cap over his head. “Your secret’s safe with me, I won’t tell the guys.”

Fred let out a shaky sigh of relief as he straightened the hat. “Thanks, Tadpole.” The old nickname slipped out before he realized he was saying it.

One of Tadashi’s eyebrows shot upward. “Wow. You haven’t called me that in… I don’t even know when.”

 _Ohcrapohcrapohcrap_. “Yeah, well… you know.” Fred trailed off lamely. He didn’t have an excuse - not one that he could say out loud, anyway. Tadashi rescued them from an awkward silence by laughing suddenly.

“What?”

“We really suck at telling each other stuff, don’t we?” Tadashi pressed his fist to his mouth as he laughed.

 _Cute_. Fred squashed the thought. “Kinda, yeah. So… this is probably really weird for you.”

“I dunno, I’m getting used to it.” Tadashi glanced around. “I guess as dark secrets go, you could do a lot worse.”

Fred forced a laugh. “Hahaha, I know, I could… I definitely could.” _Shut up, you dumb mouth._ This was only the first big thing he’d been keeping from Tadashi. The last thing he needed was for the guy to catch on to the other one.

“So, dumb question,” Tadashi said, retrieving his cup of coffee. “Were you worried I was gonna, I dunno, treat you different or something?”

“I… well…” Fred fidgeted a little. “I mean… that’s… usually what happens.” The last words died down to a mumble. He backtracked quickly. “I mean, we’re bros, and I trust you and stuff, like completely, but…”

“You get burned once,” Tadashi said knowingly.

“Or... twice.” Awkwardly he looked up just in time to see the sympathy in Tadashi’s eyes. It was equal parts hard to look at and impossible to look away. Warmth bloomed in his chest, spreading until he could feel his face redden.

“I’ll do my best, okay?” Tadashi gave him a reassuring grin. “Also, if I’m, I dunno, doing it without realizing, just lemme know.”

“I will.” Somehow he managed the two words.

“Awesome.” Tadashi put down the now-empty coffee cup. “I should probably get going. Text you later? Oh, and where do I put this?”

“It’s cool, Tammy handles the dishes around here.” Fred looked away to hide the spreading redness on his face - it was going to take a while to get used to talking about that in front of Tadashi. “And - yeah, I’ll talk to you later, bro.” Awkwardly he followed Tadashi to the door, where Heathcliff was waiting to show him out.

“Thanks, Mr. Heathcliff.” Tadashi paused to shake the butler’s hand. “See you later, Fred - happy birthday.”

Fred let out another massive sigh of relief once Tadashi was gone.

“A fine young man. I applaud your choice, Master Frederick.”

Fred flushed scarlet, turned on his heel, and marched back to the kitchen. “Yup wow okay my breakfast is getting cold thanks Heathcliff!”

The most annoying part of the previous night had to be the fact that he’d been too drunk to function through the whole thing. Tadashi Hamada, his best friend since high school who he’d been ass-over-head _stupid_ for for over a year, had slept over at his house, and he’d missed it.

Alcohol was the worst.

* * *

Gogo was pleased.

It was one thing to see a plan come together, and another to see it come together with almost no input from her, no nudging or hinting or background shadow-puppetry.

She had been prepared, the previous night, to do some major hinting and wheedling where Wasabi was concerned. Man loved safety, and it might have taken a lot of arm-twisting to convince him to let Tadashi give Fred a ride home draped over his moped. Gogo had been prepared, but she also may or may not have been somewhat drunk, so her chances of success had still been up in the air. But if there was one thing Wasabi feared more than a lack of safety procedures, it was the threat of vomit on his van’s upholstery. Thank God Fred was a lightweight.

Pausing in tinkering with one the e-mag wheels on her project, Gogo glanced casually in the direction of Tadashi’s workstation. Fred wasn’t in yet, but he would be eventually. It was Monday, so they’d probably see him around four or five-ish. That was fine. Gogo could most definitely work with that.

Maybe it was wrong to meddle, she thought as she twirled a small spanner between her fingers. But then, a lot of things that Gogo did were technically considered wrong, like that stunt freshman year that broke her wrist and several windows, or all the times she borrowed things from Wasabi’s workstation without permission. But this was different. This wasn’t about catching a thrill at the cost of property damage and a visit to the ER, or gentle but casually obnoxious trolling. This was a good cause. This was altruism. This was like a Nobel Peace Prize level of shenanigans.

Besides, these two morons were her soap opera. It was a classic - Fred sucked at having a crush, and Tadashi sucked at noticing. The dramas her mother loved couldn’t hold a candle to this crap. The problem with soap operas, however, was that you couldn’t yell at the characters when they were being stupid, or lock them in a closet together. But in real life?

...Well, Gogo still wasn’t about to go for that. She wasn’t desperate yet. Those options were in the “maybe” pile.

Eventually 4:30 rolled around, and Fred finally padded into the lab in that ridiculous costume with a sign tucked under his arm. Miracle of miracles, Tadashi was out of his lab at the moment, taking a break from coding and tinkering to have a look at everyone else’s projects. He and Wasabi were in deep discussion about something, and Gogo watched as Tadashi broke off the conversation to give Fred a smile that was nothing short of soppy. The look that Fred gave him in return was equally mushy. Gogo looked away with the smirk, resisting the urge to walk over and shove one of them into the other. _Wouldn’t work when Fred’s in the suit, anyway,_ she reminded herself.

Of course the others saw nothing. Honey was busy, only pausing from measuring and refilling chemical solutions to wave to Fred, and Wasabi treated this kind of thing the same way most people treated urgent due dates: by not noticing until it was too late to do anything but panic.

Part of her hoped that what Tadashi and Wasabi had been talking about wasn’t too important, because all of the former’s attention was on Fred now. Gogo narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. Now that was funny - usually they were at least capable of splitting their attention between each other and the rest of the group, especially Tadashi, but… hm, it was too soon and too far away to tell. As Fred slipped into the back to drop the mascot suit in the storage closet, Gogo turned her attention back to her bike, humming thoughtfully. Maybe something happened when Tadashi took Fred home, maybe it didn’t. Only time and further observation would tell.

And on that note… “So, guys,” Gogo called out nonchalantly, once Fred was back and everyone was within hearing range. “I was thinking. Game night some time this week? Maybe tonight?”

Fred cocked an eyebrow at her. “We kinda just celebrated my birthday. What’s the occasion now?”

 _Wouldn’t you like to know._ Gogo masked her thoughts with a deadpan stare. “The occasion is, it’s the end of the term, finals are coming up, and we should get as many good times in as we can before we descend into sleep-deprived dementia and stress-puking.”

“Oh, come on!” Tadashi’s head slumped forward, his skull knocking briefly against the table in front of him. When he looked up again, he was glaring at her. “I only did that _once_.”

“Twice,” Honey corrected him delicately, squinting at a graduated cylinder.

“Thank you,” Tadashi said in a long-suffering voice.

Luckily Wasabi intervened before that could escalate. “I’m down with that. Just - no alcohol this time.”

“I actually have no objection to that,” Fred piped up, rolling his shoulders a little. “I found out hangovers are Satan.”

“Weenie,” Gogo teased. “Honey, Tadashi, you guys in?”

“Sure!” Honey piped up, without looking up from the solute she was measuring. “I’ll bring some snacks, if you want.”

“Definitely,” Tadashi replied. “Did you get that e-mail from Professor Narayan?”

“Yeah, lecture’s cancelled tomorrow morning,” Gogo said smoothly, hoping they wouldn’t see any difference in the way she was smirking. Sharing a class or two with Tadashi had its advantages. “I was gonna stay up late anyway. Prepare to get your asses kicked in Mario Kart.”

“Please no Rainbow Road,” Fred sighed heavily. “I’d like it if we could at least stay friends til graduation.”

“Fair enough.” Gogo shrugged, laughing maniacally in her head. “I’ll say it again. Weenie.”

“I can live with that.”

“Oh, speaking with living with stuff,” Tadashi broke in suddenly. “Anyone want to give me a hand?” Fred applauded him, and Tadashi broke off to grin crookedly at him. “Fred, no, I’m serious.” Gogo looked away to roll her eyes. “I just want to run a few tests on the scanner before I install it in the robot. I figure I might as well make sure it works on people who aren’t me.”

“Sorry, Tadashi, I’m a little busy,” Honey said, frowning apologetically over a beaker of hydrochloric acid. “Some other time?”

“I got time to play guinea pig,” Fred offered, as usual.

Wasabi shut off his lasers. "Same here. Two’s better than one, right?”

 _Oh no you don’t._ Gogo wandered over to his equipment. “Cool. I need to fiddle with something and my screwdriver’s not cutting it. I’m gonna borrow your car keys while you-”

“Oh second thought!” Wasabi’s voice jumped an octave or two as he scrambled to her side. “Sorry Tadashi something came up - Gogo, if you’re gonna borrow something then sign it out, and stay away from my keys!”

“Yeah yeah, cool. How’s your sign-out whatever work again?” Half-listening as Wasabi explained his organization system for the fortieth time, Gogo tried not to smirk. Tadashi was strolling back to his lab station, apparently unaware of the way Fred was padding at his heels like a puppy.

She wandered by Tadashi’s lab a couple of minutes later on her way to the bathroom, to find both boys inspecting the read-out on the medical scanner Tadashi was working on. Tadashi was focused on it, tracing down the readings with a fingertip, utterly absorbed in his work as usual. Fred stood by him stiffly, hands locked behind his back, leaning away slightly. Even from this distance she could see that his ears were bright red. He fidgeted, shifting and shuffling his feet, wringing his hands. At one point he reached out for Tadashi’s shoulder only to pull his hand away.

It was frustrating to watch. The guy had it bad and was utter crap at hiding it. It was a miracle that neither of the others had caught on yet, much less Tadashi.

Smiling to herself, Gogo moved on before either of the boys noticed her. If Fred was having trouble spitting it out, then she was going to do her solemn duty as a friend by Heimliching him until the problem was solved.

* * *

Game night, Gogo decided, was a roaring success. And why wouldn’t it be? It was just five dumb nerd friends crowded in her living room, surrounded in homemade baked snacks and yelling at each other over her Xbox and Wii U. Not that complicated.

Slightly more complicated were seating arrangements. A lot of that was luck as much as it was strategy. Luck was things like Tadashi being the first to plop down on her small sofa while Honey broke out the treats and Wasabi went to raid her cabinet for clean plates. Strategy was sitting down on the same sofa, just far enough to leave a Fred-sized gap between them. Strategy was also griping at Fred to get his skinny ass out of the way while she set up Left 4 Dead 2, and yanking him down to sit next to Tadashi when he didn’t move fast enough for her. Fred squawked as he landed, and again when Tadashi stole his hat. By the time Honey and Wasabi wandered back in with cookies and seven-layer bars on plates, a red-faced Fred was snatching Tadashi’s hat in retaliation while the latter held the stocking cap out of reach and laughed.

They proceeded to wear each other’s hats for the entire evening. Success.

“Oh _man_ ,” Tadashi muttered through gritted teeth. “I used my health pack already and I’m out of pills.”

“You’re gonna die,” Wasabi said flatly. “Keep up, man, we’re already ahead of you.”

“No wait, just lemme check this room for - oh. Oh, no.” A telltale scream-roar from the speakers preceded Tadashi’s frustrated sigh. “I might be about to die.”

Honey, who was sitting out for this round, squinted at the screen. “That’s a Hunter, right? I keep getting the Special Infected mixed up.”

“Tadashi’s down again,” Gogo said flatly as she sniped a Jockey before it could jump her. “Who’s closest?

“Hang on hang on hang on!” Fred accidentally jabbed her in the side with his bony elbow. “I’m coming. Where are you? I’ll kick its ass. I’ll kick anything’s ass. I’ll kick my own ass. Oh, there you are!”

“Aaaand I died,” Tadashi sighed, right before Fred headshotted the Hunter.

Without looking away from the game, Fred knocked his arm against Tadashi’s. “It’s cool, it’s cool, I got an adrenaline shot. There we go. Kiss of life, bro!”

Tadashi was paying attention to the screen even as he laughed, but Gogo glanced at Fred’s face just in time to see the “oh shit” look cross his face. Her friend’s ears were bright red. With a thin-lipped smile, she maneuvered Coach into the area’s safe house.

This was the best idea.

The evening continued in much the same vein. Gogo barely had to do anything beyond a few carefully-worded suggestions here and there. In the middle of a Mario Kart race, she waited until Fred had a Spiny Shell in his possession before taking Tadashi out with a Bob-omb and goading Fred into avenging him. When they moved on to Brawl, she grabbed a laser sword and beat Fred’s Lucario over the head with it until he squawked in protest and brought Tadashi’s Link rushing to the rescue - and damn, Solid Snake never stood a chance; Tadashi ended her.

“Jesus, Tadashi!” Wasabi sounded faintly alarmed.

Tadashi blinked at him owlishly. “What? What’re you looking at?”

Wasabi shook his head, laughing slightly. “Just… that was brutal.”

“That was like a one hit K.O.,” Gogo remarked as Snake dropped back into the fight. “Holy _shit_ , dude.”

“You don’t get to complain,” Tadashi said matter-of-factly. “You were light-sabering Fred.”

“Meh, fair enough.”

“Appreciate it,” Fred said quietly.

Fucking _success_.

Eventually the hours wore on. Honey’s treats dwindled, Fred’s frantic squawking quieted down, and the long day started to catch up with them. By the time they circled back around to Mario Kart, Gogo could see eyelids drooping. Settling comfortably against the couch cushions, Gogo swallowed a yawn and red-shelled Wasabi out of first place. Her friend groaned loudly when Peach spun out on screen, and Gogo rocketed Yoshi to the finish line.

“That’s the fifth win you’ve had tonight,” Tadashi muttered as he snatched second place from Honey’s grasp.

“How do you keep getting good stuff when you’re that far ahead?” Fred complained.

Gogo grinned. “I don’t, I just don’t use them and miss two seconds after I get them.”

Fred made fourth place with a scowl. “I only did that once.”

“With a blue shell,” Honey pointed out. “Huge waste.”

“Well it’s 1 AM and I had a quiz today, _excuse me_ for not being at the top of my game.”

“You did _fine_.” Tadashi nudged him comfortingly.

“Wait, it’s 1 AM already?” Honey leaped to her feet with a yelp. “I have to go, I have class at eight tomorrow morning! Sorry, guys!”

“It’s cool, I was thinking of leaving too.” Wasabi stifled a yawn. “I mean, before I get too sleepy to drive. Need a ride?”

Honey smiled gratefully. “Sure. Thanks, Wasabi.” She gave the other three a little wave. “Bye, you three!”

“Night, Honey,” Tadashi called.

“Hasta la vista,” Fred added, and ducked when she swung her purse playfully at him.

Gogo waved as they left, and drew her legs up to cross them on the couch. The three of them continued on as they had been, quieter now that Honey and Wasabi had left, but a comfortable sort of quiet. This was an interesting situation to be in, Gogo thought. It was a nice opportunity, now that the two who weren’t in the know had left, but it left her with surprisingly few options. It wasn’t like she could just put her controller down, turn to them, and say “So, about you two and your latent romantic feelings for each other. How’s that going for you?” The fact was that the main obstacle at the moment was her own presence.

Oh, well. Video games. Still fun, still a good time, still technically a success. The fact that Fred still had Tadashi’s hat jammed crookedly over his head was a bonus.

It was almost two o’clock when Gogo excused herself to run to the bathroom. She returned with a joke on the tip of her tongue, to find that the two boys had dozed off on her couch while she was gone. Startled, she stopped short.

Huh.

Well, it was never too late to be puckish.

Gogo crept up to the couch, coughing quietly to test how deeply they were sleeping. Tadashi stirred but didn’t wake up, and Fred led out a low snore. Perfect.

With as much caution as she could manage, Gogo gave Fred’s shoulder the lightest push. Fred slumped over against Tadashi, his head lolling to the side to rest on the latter’s shoulder. Tadashi stirred again, and Gogo nearly had a heart attack right then and there, but he simply shifted to settle more comfortably with Fred against him.

Satisfied, Gogo shut off her consoles and went to find her down comforter.

Impromptu sleepovers were the _best_.


	3. Swing and a Miss

Fred woke halfway to find himself using the crook of Tadashi’s neck as a pillow, and it took him a full ten seconds to remember what lungs were for.

They were most definitely  _ not  _ for screaming in an operatic soprano, an instinct that he thankfully suppressed. His second instinct was to pull back, as far, far away from Tadashi as he could possibly go. He suppressed that one too. If he moved too fast, he might wake him up and Tadashi might realize what happened and  _ oh no oh no oh no _ . That was around when his breathing kicked back in, and he let out a silent, shaky breath when Tadashi didn’t wake up. 

It wasn’t like this was unfamiliar. Boundaries had never really been a thing for them. Hugs, headlocks, gentle noogying, that was all normal, and this was far from the first time he’d woken up to find himself drooling a little on Tadashi’s shirt. It happened. It was a bro thing.

And then his stupid, moron brain had to go and shift on its entire axis and mess everything up for him. Just him, too. Tadashi didn’t have to waste time tripping himself up and wading through this awkward squishy clusterfuck of feels.

Waking up like this was different now, and Fred was caught between loving it and wanting desperately for things to go back to the way they were before.

Through heavy-lidded eyes, Fred could see the steady rise and fall of Tadashi’s chest, the line of his collarbone that the neckline of his T-shirt didn’t quite cover. At some point during the night he had taken the hat off, and now he could feel his friend’s breath stirring his hair.

Fred’s face warmed, and he felt that stupid shivery feeling in his stomach again. He should get up, he really should get up before Tadashi could wake up, but…

Maybe a few minutes. Just a few more minutes.

But he knew it wouldn’t be enough. “Just a few minutes” was nothing. Besides, it was just luck that he’d woken up like this before Tadashi had; if it proved anything, it was that he wasn’t going to be able to keep it in forever. He didn’t even  _ want  _ to.

_ I have to tell him. _

The thought terrified him. He could ruin everything, their whole friendship. He could embarrass himself and make things awkward forever and they’d never be the same, all because he’d let go of the bird in his hand to go for the two in the bush and  _ missed _ . It was such a risk.

Is it worth it?

Fred imagined a world where he could fall asleep against Tadashi like this and wake up without jitters or almost-heart-attacks. His eyes fell upon the hollow of Tadashi’s throat, and he wondered what it would feel like to press his lips there. Suppressing a shudder of delight, he closed his eyes and savored the feeling of huddling close to Tadashi’s side.

_ Stupid question. Of course he is _ .

Of course, as all good things do, the moment had to end.  Fred reluctantly pulled away - slowly, so as not to wake him. Eventually he inched back far enough to feel comfortable about sitting up and sliding carefully to the end of the couch.

A second near-heart attack snuck up on him when he looked to the floor by the armchair and spotted the blanket burrito that could only have been Gogo.  _ Crap, crap, did she see that? _

Almost immediately, he realized the answer must have been no. If she’d seen them cuddling like that, she would’ve woken them up just to tease them. Gogo was a great friend, but she was such an  _ asshole _ .

_ But wait _ , he thought.  _ What if she’s just waiting ‘til we’re all awake to make fun of us for it? If she does that, Tadashi will find out it happened in the first place. _

_ But wait _ , he reminded himself.  _ It’s not like it’d be the first time, right? All those bus rides in high school, it’s not like you’ve never fallen asleep on him before. It was never weird then. _

_ Of course it wasn’t weird,  _ he thought, frustrated.  _ You weren’t in love with him back then. This is a recent horrible development and it is ruining your life. So now if someone calls you on it, for all you know your mush brain will mess everything up for you again. _

Fred buried his face in his hands and tried not to sigh too loudly.

After a moment or two of waiting, he did the only thing he could think of. He got up, left the room, and went down the hall to use the bathroom.

But say he did go through with fessing up, he thought as he washed his hands several times in a row without noticing. He ought to know a thing or three about it, being such an illustrious scholar of pop culture. How to go about it? Just spring it on him? Open with a cheesy pick-up line? Grand romantic gesture? Candles? Serenades?  _ How? _

Serenades were right out. He couldn’t sing or play an instrument, and he’d seen enough romcoms to know that was a one-way ticket to humiliating yourself. Grand romantic gestures were risky - get too elaborate, and entire plans could fall apart. Cheesy pick-up lines were risky because there was always the possibility that Tadashi would take it as a joke. Springing it on him might scare him off.

His hands were pruny when he finally stopped to dry them. Every option was, frankly, terrible.

_ I’d just have to be smooth _ , he thought.  _ I can do that. I can be smooth. I can be spontaneous. Spontaneous is practically my middle name. Frederick Spontaneous Whitmore. I should make business cards _ .

Someone knocked on the door, and he squeaked.

“Hurry up in there,” Gogo griped, sounding in desperate need of an espresso. “It’s my apartment and I need to take a dump.” 

Heart hammering from the surprise, Fred darted out of the bathroom to let his friend in. Gogo brushed past him with a wordless grumble, and Fred let himself breathe. She wasn’t saying anything, she wasn’t doing that knowing elbow-nudge thing, and she wasn’t even looking at him sideways. He was safe. He’d dodged a bullet.

Fred wandered back out into the living room just in time to see Tadashi slowly sit up, mumbling to himself as he rubbed his face. His friend was frowning through sleep-heavy eyelids, rubbing at a crick in his neck. With a quiet sigh, Tadashi stood up from the couch and stretched for a moment, just long enough for the hem of his shirt to ride up on his waist. His clothes were rumpled, hair mussed from sleep, and Fred was staring as Tadashi looked up with a half-awake grin.

“Morning, Fred.”

“ Morning,” he replied, with what he hoped was a decent poker face.  _ Oh God oh God he’s even cuter without combing his hair. _

“You, uh.” Tadashi’s eyes flickered to the side. “Gonna need another ride home?”

_ Ride home: also known as “decent alone time to proposition best friend.” Wait no that’s a terrible idea. _ “ Nah, I’m good,” he said with a passably casual shrug. “Thanks again for that, by the way.”

His friend grinned back, that sunny sincere smile that made Fred’s insides squishy. “Hey, anytime. Just, uh… try not to regurgitate on my shoulder next time.”

Fred’s melting heart promptly re-froze. “...I did what.”

“One of the other reasons I stayed the night,” Tadashi went on. “Your, uh-” He dropped his voice. “Your butler offered to wash my sweater for me.”

Fred covered his face with both hands. “Oh my God. I am so sorry, dude.”

Before he knew what was happening, he was pulled into a brief hug. The hug came with a clap on the back, though, so it was definitely a guy hug. “Meh, don’t even worry about it. What’s a little puke between friends, right?” Beneath his hands, Fred’s face flushed. Tadashi nudged him. “Hey, seriously. It’s no problem.”

I puked on him and he’s cool with it. That’s it, he’s perfect, I gotta tell him.

“Hey, Tadashi-” he began, and then the toilet flushed and he remembered where he was. 

Tadashi blinked at him curiously. “Yeah, what is it?”

“ Never mind,” he said a little too quickly.  _ Some other time,  _ he told himself.

 

* * *

Tadashi had no logical reason to feel like this. There was no basis whatsoever for the dryness in his mouth, or the ache of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. But worries don’t often care about logic, and Fred’s behavior at the moment certainly wasn’t doing anything to alleviate it. Part of him could have sworn it had started that weekend, when he’d taken Fred home and discovered that Fred’s clinging was suddenly awkward. Or when Fred had used his nickname and he’d realized how long it had been since he’d heard it. Or now, with Fred avoiding his eyes, tensing up when Tadashi hugged him (when had  _ that _ started?), and evading something that was clearly a big deal to him.

But in that moment, staring at Fred as they waited for Gogo to return, he realized that this wasn’t such a recent issue. No, this had been building for a while now, and he’d either been too busy or too oblivious to notice.

Fred was pulling away. He wouldn’t hug and cling like he used to, apparently unless he was drunk. Just a minute ago he’d tensed up when Tadashi hugged him. He wouldn’t even look Tadashi in the eye. And now Fred was giving him the runaround, brushing off something that obviously mattered to him. Sure, they left details out from time to time, but never on purpose, never by shying away from important things.

And his nickname.

The nickname shouldn’t have been such a sticking point, but it was. Fred had called him Tadashi in front of the others when he first met them, but even then he’d kept it up with “Tadpole” in private. But then, when the others had gained nicknames of their own, Tadashi had stayed Tadashi. And then somehow, without noticing, he’d stopped hearing his own nickname until just the other night. And, to make it worse, Fred had acted embarrassed about using it.

That… that hurt, just a little bit. And not just in a feeling-left-out kind of way. There was more to it than that; standing in Gogo’s living room, watching Fred look away and nudge the down comforter on the floor with his foot, Tadashi had never been more sure of it.

They were friends - they had been friends for six years and okay, fine, so maybe there had been changes. Maybe things  _ had _ become awkward in Tadashi’s mind. Maybe there was a reason for that.

Maybe, somewhere down the line, his feelings had started to approach something resembling a crush.

Not the most comfortable of situations, but it was something that Tadashi could deal with.

But now it felt suspiciously like their friendship was winding down, and… well, Tadashi didn’t want that to happen. That was the  _ last _ thing he wanted to happen. So he bit his tongue against his feelings and did everything he could to avoid upsetting the balance. It wasn’t enough.

But this wasn’t the kind of conversation he wanted to have when there was a risk that the others might walk in, as Gogo was doing right now. He’d just have to catch Fred alone sometime later.

 

* * *

_ Fuck,  _ Gogo thought as she stepped in to see the two of them leave off staring at each other to notice her.  _ They were having a moment and I walked in. I fucked it up. Goddamn it. Shit. _

* * *

Fred had always had a bit of a problem with procrastination. Homework assignments, studying for tests, submitting applications, e-mailing his professors - you name it, he put it off to the last minute. Unfortunately, this trend apparently extended to love confessions, too.

Possibilities ran through his head, as if his brain was some kind of rapid-fire teleprompter.

_ I think you’re cute, let’s get coffee sometime.  _ Okay, that was a possibility, but “I think you’re cute” didn’t quite cover it.

_ I’m glad we’re friends, but sometimes I wish we were _ \- what, more than friends? Like being friends with him somehow meant less? Like being friends with him wasn’t good enough? No. Try again.

_ Call me crazy, but I think we belong together.  _ Absolutely not. Way too forward.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, Fred was mentally knocking his forehead against a hard surface. Maybe he should stop trying to plan and rehearse. Hadn’t he decided that it’d be better to improv it? The only thing that running pick-up lines through his head was going to do was freak him out and waste time.

Finally he mentally gave up - temporarily, anyway - and when he found himself on the SFIT campus with an hour of free time, he retreated to the Ishioka building’s study lounge to settle his nerves. The room was empty and silent, so he plopped himself into one of the comfy chairs and cracked open his copy of Volume 4 of  _ Assassination Classroom _ .

The effect was almost instantaneous - nothing like reading about quirky middle-schoolers trying to kill their tentacle-alien homeroom teacher when he needed to calm himself down. The chair was comfortable, the minutes ticked by without him noticing, and with no more classes or mascot duties scheduled for the day, he let himself be absorbed in the manga.

Eventually he glanced up at the sound of footsteps. Tadashi wandered in looking faintly cross-eyed and rubbing his face tiredly. Fred’s pulse jumped a little when his friend looked up and noticed him. Looking at him, the word “unkempt” sprang to mind, as did  _ God he is cute _ .

“Hey,” Tadashi mumbled. 

“ Getting a lot of coding done?” Fred asked casually.  _ Here I go here I go _ .

“I don’t even want to think about coding for a while,” Tadashi sighed. He dropped his hand to his side and plopped down into the chair across from Fred. Nervously Fred peeked at him from over the manga volume and saw his brows furrow as he read the cover. “Cool. You watch the anime?”

The small talk eased his nerves, and he grinned. “You kidding? I could sing you the opening theme song right here, right now.”

Tadashi’s eyebrow went up. “In Japanese?”

“I mostly watch subs anyway, so yeah. In Japanese.” From there, it just popped into his head. Spontaneously. Spontaneous was what he was going for, after all. “Means I pick up a few phrases.”

“Do you now.”

_ Oh God oh God. _ “ Yeah. Like there’s one I picked up that applies to you.” His heart was jumping to his throat as he lowered the book to his lap.

“Really? This I gotta hear.”

“ _ Aishiteru _ .” It slipped out easily, despite his pulse drumming in his temples. Fred waited, barely breathing as he watched Tadashi’s face intently for a reaction.

For a moment, Tadashi’s eyes widened. The faintest hint of a blush colored his face and  _ oh no oh no that’s really cute.  _ Tadashi blinked at him, looking, of all things,  _ confused _ , before he covered a cough and cleared his throat.

“Wow, um.” He paused, and Fred tried not to look too terrified. “Thanks, Fred.”

Was he happy about it? He sounded happy about it. Fred’s throat bobbed as he tried to swallow his anxiety.

“ You should know, though,” Tadashi went on, grinning slightly. “Between friends, you usually use ‘ _ suki _ ’ . So like, ‘ _ suki desu _ ’ . or ‘ _ suki da _ ’  if you’re being informal.”

Fred blinked, feeling like he’d just slammed into a brick wall in the middle of a marathon. “Wait, what?”

Tadashi shrugged, grinning at him. “It’s cool. Easy mistake to make.”

“Oh. Uh… heh, yeah, I guess so.” Fred raised the manga back up and pretended to go back to reading. He sagged a little in his seat, feeling like a deflated balloon. The heart-pounding anxiety was gone, replaced with a heavy disappointment. “Thanks for, uh, correcting me. I guess.”

“Any time.” Tadashi rolled his shoulders a bit. “Welp, you’re reading and I don’t want to bug you, so… I’m gonna go head to the campus cafe.”

“Cool. Have fun.” Fred watched him miserably from behind his book.

Tadashi paused at the door. “Hey, you want anything?”

“Nah. I’m good.” He wasn’t. He really wasn’t. As Tadashi left, he sank further down in his chair as his eyes stung and he wondered, did Tadashi really miss that two-ton neon sign of a hint, or was that him letting Fred down easy?

Screw it. Time to drown himself in manga.

* * *

On his way out of the lounge, Tadashi breathed in and out and recovered from the ten-second heart attack he’d just had.

One day Fred’s jokes were going to be the death of him. Only the initial shock of hearing “ _ Aishiteru _ ”  out of Fred’s mouth had stopped him from starting out of his chair yelling “Are you shitting me?” In a split second he’d remembered,  _ wait, this is Fred, the guy who tried to comment on cloudy weather in Japanese and instead commented on the abundance of bears.  _ Somehow he’d managed to play it cool as he’d answered.

In spite of everything, it was sort of a relief for him. After all the worrying he’d been doing, Fred’s antics were exactly what he needed. Brief shocks aside, it did volumes for his peace of mind.

Still, residual jitters plagued him through the doorway. Gogo’s presence just outside the door was a welcome distraction.

* * *

It was a complete accident that Gogo passed by the study lounge when she did. It was hardly her fault that it was directly on the way to the vending machine; she was hungry for chips, not a creeper. But either way, she caught the conversation as she passed the lounge entrance, and she was quick to pause and duck out of sight when she heard what sounded suspiciously like a love confession from Fred.

Which meant that she also heard the faint whistling noise when it flew right over Tadashi’s head. At Tadashi’s response, she had to suppress the urge to knock her forehead against the wall.

How boneheaded do you have to be-

And no, oh no. Now Fred’s response was breaking her heart.  _ Moron no, don’t give up, he’s not rejecting you, he’s just clueless or in denial or something _ . This was actually  _ worse  _ than soaps, because in real life she had a personal vested interest in the happiness of these two matching dumbasses.  _ You are my friends and I love you both but so help me if I have to lock you in a closet, I will _ .

She pushed herself away from the wall when she heard Tadashi coming back out. “Oh hey, Gogo, what’s up?”

For one golden moment, Gogo imagined taking his face between her hands and yelling  _ Get back in there and kiss that gigantic dumb nose before I stuff you both in the same locker like they do back in high school _ . “Nothing much, just on my way to the vending machine,” she said at length. “You?”

“Campus cafe. Wanna come?”

“Mm, nah.” Gogo shrugged. Having lunch with him, she might give in to the overwhelming temptation to blurt out the obvious. And she wasn’t about that - that was Fred’s job, not hers. She would stand at the sidelines and silently root for them, she would shoo the others away from their moments alone, and she might give either of them a gentle nudge in the right direction. But giving them the answers straight? That wasn’t her place.

Besides, she had some work to do while she was still indignant enough to do it.

As she stalked down the hallway, she made up her mind. Fred needed another shot to get through Tadashi’s thick skull. One without the risk of any of the rest of the group interrupting - herself least of all. What kind of mutual friend and covert winglady would she be if she couldn’t give him one?

Scowling, she pulled out her phone and went through her contacts. This would require some planning, some audacity, and some good timing. Good thing stunt bikers had all three.

 


	4. Butterflies

“That’s two separate bar codes, Ethel. I just sent them to your e-mail.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, I got ‘em. ” Gogo grinned wolfishly at her laptop. “Thanks, Mina.”

A wry chuckle came over the phone. “This mean we’re square, cousin?”

Her grin widened. “Yup. Consider your debt paid in full.”

“Awesome. I can breathe easy again. Weird date idea, though, if you ask me.”

“Probably why I didn’t.” Gogo said dryly. “Don’t judge. I go to nerd school, remember?”

“Like you let any of us forget,” Mina scoffed at her. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would, actually. Kinda why I asked.”

“Tough.”

“I’ll find out eventually,” Mina said snottily. Her tone turned friendly again almost immediately. “See you later, Ethel.”

“Yeah, bye.” Hanging up, Gogo hit print and watched, satisfied, as her printer spat out two new tickets, courtesy of her ever-helpful cousin. So nice of her to have a job right where Gogo needed her.

But, tickets were only step one. Gogo made another call.

“Hel-lo!” Honey’s musical greeting rang in her ear. “What is it, Gogo?”

“You doing anything this weekend? Like, Saturday specifically?” Gogo crossed her fingers quietly. This could either be very simple or very complicated.

Honey paused for a moment, and Gogo waited on bated breath. When she finally replied, she sounded crestfallen. “Sorry, Gogo, Saturday’s no good. You know my cousin Teresa? Well, it’s her quinceanera and I promised I’d go and it’s an all-day thing, so...”

Somehow, Gogo suppressed the urge to victory-dance while still on the line with Honey. Instead, she adopted a mildly disappointed tone when she answered. “Really? Damn. Oh, well. Never mind, sorry to bother you.”

“I’m _really_ sorry, Gogo.”

“Nah, don’t apologize. Family stuff, I know how it is. See you later.”

“Bye!”

Gogo put her phone away, laced her fingers together, and cracked her knuckles in satisfaction. Everything squared away.

There was no time to lose, either. After that flop of a confession that Gogo had been unlucky enough to witness, Fred could barely look Tadashi in the eye. When the following afternoon rolled around, Gogo could only just wait until the group was gathered in the study lounge before making her move.

“So, good news,” she announced, leaning with her arms crossed over the back of the armchair Fred was sprawled in. “My cousin works at the Academy of Sciences, and she scored me three tickets to Body Worlds.” She took the two slips from her jacket pocket and waved them. “I’m free this Saturday. Who wants to go stare at preserved dead bodies with me?”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Fred reached up to grab at one of them, only for Gogo to pull them up and out of his reach. “Me! Pick me! I haven’t been there since high school!”

Gogo shot a surreptitious glance toward Tadashi. He certainly looked interested and hopeful, which was encouraging, but – of _course_ –

“Well, if there’re only two…” Tadashi looked to Honey and Wasabi. “Either of you wanna go?”

_Curse you and your putting others before yourself,_ Gogo thought dryly.

“Can’t, I have a thing,” Honey said with a playful pout.

“Well…” Wasabi hesitated.

“It’s gonna be awesome,” Gogo went on. “I hear they have this one where they cut a dude open and peeled back all his layers so you can see them, he’s like a frozen human explosion.”

Wasabi gagged. “Pass,” he said weakly.

Without missing a beat, Tadashi plucked one of the tickets out of Gogo’s hand. “Dibs, no take-backs.”

“I didn’t know you were interested in that,” Honey remarked.

Tadashi shrugged. “Humans are the result of billions of years of evolution. Structurally, we must be doing _something_ right. I might get some good ideas for my robotics designs. I’m definitely bringing my notebook.”

“I’m gonna draw dicks all over your notebook,” Gogo said dryly.

Tadashi heaved a sigh of resignation. “Fine.”

He had nothing to worry about, of course. There was no way Gogo would be able to draw anything on his precious designs if she wasn’t going to be there in the first place.

* * *

Saturday afternoon saw Tadashi pulling into Golden Gate Park on his moped with Gogo’s gifted ticket burning a hole in his pocket.

He’d been looking forward to this for the past few days, and not just because of the event itself. The minor incident on Wednesday had brought him hope that his anxieties were for nothing, that Fred was just as blithe and carefree as he’d ever been. But if anything, Fred had withdrawn even further, and Tadashi had been worried enough to consider pulling him aside, when Gogo unwittingly came to the rescue waving around museum tickets. Fred had jumped at the chance, and only politeness had kept Tadashi from leaping after him.

The ticket line was a long one as Tadashi found an open motorcycle space to park near the Academy of Sciences building. Already it stretched far beyond his parking space and wrapped around the corner of the sidewalk. They’d be skipping that, he noted with no small amount of satisfaction. They had Gogo’s cousin to thank for that.

His moped locked in place, Tadashi stepped back and stretched his arms until his shoulders cracked. The chewing gum in his mouth had lost its flavor, and he slipped it into the nearest trash can. Then he turned in a small circle, scanning the area, and his pulse quickened at the sight of Fred strolling up the sidewalk with his hands shoved carelessly in his pockets. Tadashi waved, and he saw his friend look up, notice him, and wave back as he jogged over.

“Hey,” Tadashi greeted him with a hopeful smile. Fred grinned back, which was encouraging. “Wow, this is a first, isn’t it.”

Fred blinked. “What? You’ve never been here before?”

“No, I mean this is the first time we both beat Gogo somewhere.” Tadashi hesitated, smile fading. “Come to think of it, I hope she’s okay.”

“Should we text her?”

“Yeah, one sec.” Tadashi quickly wrestled his phone from his pocket. He had two recent texts, one from Aunt Cass ( _Breakfast for dinner tonight. Hope you like strawberries!_ ), the other from Hiro ( _Like the majestic dolphin, the quesarito is beautiful but ultimately deadly._ ) He sent a quick _We’re here, where are you?_ to Gogo, and only had to wait a few moments for a reply.

_ahfuckfuck_

“Well that’s not very encouraging,” he remarked out loud.

“What is it?”

“Have a look.” Tadashi held his phone out, and Fred leaned in to see. Right on cue, his phone chimed again, and Tadashi stepped closer so that they both could see.

_cna’t make it srs food poisoning so sorry_

Tadashi’s heart went out to her, and he couldn’t help but wince in sympathy. _That sucks :(_ he replied.

_dont even wrry about it_ was Gogo’s reply. _youre already there go ahead_

Well, that was certainly gracious of her. _Thanks. Want us to swing by later?_

_nah im good take lots of pictures_

“Wow, that’s too bad,” Fred remarked, frowning. “She seemed really excited about this.”

Tadashi bit his lip - was Fred going to decide not to go because of this? “Well, we might as well not waste these, right?” he said quickly, feeling the ticket in his pocket.

“Huh?”

“I mean, Gogo says she’s fine with us going on without her,” Tadashi went on hesitantly. “I don’t think she’ll be too hurt.” He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t weird to go on without the one who’d invited them in the first place, but he really didn’t want to have to go home with his head down.

For a split second he thought Fred was going to back out, but after a thoughtful moment his friend shrugged and grinned. “Eh, what the hell. You and me, then. Just like old times, right?”

Tadashi relaxed, trying not to let his immense relief show on his face. “Sophomore year Biology class. It was in San Jose back then, wasn’t it?”

“Tech Museum, good times,” Fred said with a nod. “C’mon, lets go pass up this line.”

* * *

The BodyWorlds Exhibit was a temporary fixture in the museum. While it was there, many of the other exhibits were closed off or moved to make room. The aquarium was still untouched - probably harder to shift that out of the way.

The exhibit rooms were dimmed, but the displays were individually lit. Each one stood or sat in a polished glass box, marked by signs and labels explaining what was being shown. Smaller display cases held smaller samples like preserved organs. It was… well, pretty much how Fred remembered it.

It wasn’t too crowded by his standards, especially since his previous memory of this place had been a school trip full of bored or grossed-out teenagers milling around. A couple of kids dodged around Fred, chasing each other, and on instinct he stepped out of the way and nearly crashed into Tadashi in the process.

“Whoops - sorry, man.”

“No problem. Oh, check it out, lungs!”

Fred followed him over to one of the nearest display cases. Sure enough, one of them held two sets of lungs, one healthy, the other blackened from cigarette smoke. “Oh hey, I remember those.”

Tadashi regarded them thoughtfully. “Pretty sure those lungs are about sixty percent of the reason why I don’t smoke. The other forty percent is-”

“Your aunt would kick your ass?” Fred interrupted with an impish grin.

Tadashi nodded. “My aunt would kick my ass.”

In that moment, Fred felt his nervousness melt away – had he been nervous? Really? He was tempted to dope-slap himself for being so stupid. This wasn’t some inaccessible paragon he was tagging along with – it was just Tadashi.

Just thinking that made the tension ease off. _It’s just Tadashi._ The butterflies receded, to be replaced by a strange but altogether pleasant warmth pooling in his stomach, like he’d just drunk hot chocolate.

Shoving his hands back in his pockets, Fred let his shoulder bump against Tadashi’s as they made their way around the exhibit. It was surprisingly easy to slip back into the old, comfortable chatting if he just… well, let himself.

This wasn't scary at all.

A few of the displays featured thin, dyed slices of human brains with each region neatly labeled and described.

“Part of me can hardly believe that came out of someone’s head,” Tadashi muttered.

“I dunno, I’ve had deli meat that looked worse,” Fred replied, startling a snort of laughter out of Tadashi. Fred glanced at him, enjoying the sight. “No seriously, this looks like something zombies would put in sandwiches. Like Zombie Quizno’s or something.”

“Zombie Quizno’s,” Tadashi echoed, barely holding in another laugh behind his hand.

_Stop that right now stop being so adorable._ “I’m serious, dude, it’s making me hungry! Not really,” he added to a passerby who was giving them an odd look. “I am not a cannibal.”

There were other smaller exhibits like that, with preserved organ systems rather than entire bodies. Fred hovered over the urinary system for a moment, frowning down at the kidneys. So small, but so important.

“You ever been punched there before?” he asked suddenly.

“Nope, can’t say I have,” Tadashi replied, leaning over his shoulder for a closer look - and that wasn’t distracting at all. “You?”

“Yep. Not fun.”

He could feel Tadashi frowning down at him. “When?”

Fred grimaced slightly. He’d left this out before, it being a rich kid thing, but now that Tadashi had already seen his house... “You know that stereotype about private school being, like, generally better than public school?”

“Yeah?”

“Turns out no,” he admitted.

Tadashi’s only reply was a quick one-armed hug. Fred fidgeted for a split second, before giving himself a firm mental dope-slap and leaning into it instead. He was glad it was a hug from the side - it meant Tadashi wouldn’t feel the heart-flutter it caused.

Together, they moved on through the collection of displays. Every now and then, inspiration would apparently strike, and Tadashi would pause to whip out his notebook and scribble or sketch something down. Fred hoped his friend didn’t notice how closely he watched his face, that thoughtful expression – brows knitted together, one side of his lip caught in his teeth, absolute concentration on his face. When Tadashi looked up again, it was all Fred could do to avert his eyes without making it obvious – damn the man and his _stupid, kissable face_.

“You know what the best part is about this?” Tadashi said suddenly, as they inspected a preserved, flayed body doing a kickflip on a skateboard. Fred knew the answer before Tadashi had to say it.

“No worksheet,” the two of them said in unison.

“Oh my God, those stupid work packets.” Fred covered his face with a deep sigh. “Only high school teachers would know how to take something awesome and make it a chore.”

Tadashi leaned one arm on his shoulder. “Well thank God we’re adults now.”

Fred couldn’t help snorting a little, even as the weight on his shoulder made his heart hopskip over its normal rhythm. “Yeah, us. Adults.”

“We are so adults. Look at us, adulting all over the place.”

One particular display gave them pause. It was a preserved head, but with many of the layers removed, including eyelids. Unfortunately, whoever had designed this had decided it would be a good idea to shove in eye prosthetics anyway. The results were… unnerving, to say the least.

“Welp, that’s the most terrifying thing I’ve seen all day,” Fred deadpanned.

“There’s something about the facial expression,” Tadashi said thoughtfully. “It’s somehow even more disturbing than anything else here.” He paused, frowning at it. “Is it making a duck face? I think it’s making a duck face. Or is that just because the muscle’s gone but the lips are still there?”

Fred bobbed his head and leaned to either side. “I swear to God, the eyes are following me.” Tadashi jokingly grabbed him, and Fred squawked in alarm. It was at least partially intentional, just to see Tadashi crack up again.

Thankfully, the next attraction was less disturbing - ironically enough, considering what it was.

“So there’s the exploded dude Gogo mentioned.” Fred stared, wide-eyed.

“It… certainly is. Wow.” Tadashi tilted his head. “Huh. Kinda looks like a human Koosh Ball, doesn’t it.” He went for his notebook again.

“Do you think there’s any way to actually do that to a person instantly?” Fred wondered aloud.

Tadashi paused while sketching out a muscle. “Swallowing a firecracker, maybe?”

“Firecracker and an orgasm,” Fred said thoughtfully, sparking another laugh out of him. It was almost like a one-man contest at this point - how many times could Fred make him laugh?

Any day that he could make Tadashi laugh more than five separate times was a good, productive day.

Before he knew it, they had worked their way through the entire exhibit. One moment they were going through the display cases, and the next, there were no more to see. He couldn’t help pouting a little.

“Well, that was over too fast.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Tadashi sighed, tucking his notebook under his arm.

Fred glanced at it. “Get any good ideas?”

“We’ll see,” Tadashi said with a shrug. “But… hell, who says it has to be over?” He turned to Fred with one of his million-dollar-without-even-trying smiles. (That was okay, it wasn’t like Fred needed to breathe or anything.) “We’re in Golden Gate Park right now, there’s like a million things to do here. The Arboretum’s practically right around the corner. Wanna go wander around?”

Tadashi’s eyes were so wide and hopeful that Fred couldn’t have looked away even if he’d wanted to. The butterflies were back. They were back with two separate thoughts - _This was over too fast,_ and _I could get used to this._

And he could.

He could definitely see himself getting used to this.

That was what made up his mind, in the end.

It was a fairly short walk from the museum to the Arboretum - side by side, they made their way through the main gate. Walking with his arm barely brushing Tadashi’s, Fred felt like he was on a date.

_It’s not a date,_ he reminded himself.

_But it could be._

On a warm, sunny day, surrounded by lush greenery and the smell of flowers, laughing and joking with his best friend, it felt more and more possible.

"This was fun,” he said suddenly, as Tadashi paused to knock a rock out of his shoe.

Tadashi gave him a light, affectionate nudge. "I know."

"We should do this again." It was coming. He could feel it coming, and this time he wasn’t backing down until he was absolutely sure Tadashi understood him.

"Yeah,” Tadashi laughed a little. “Maybe Gogo won’t miss out next time."

Fred bit back his nervousness and frustration. "No, I mean just the two of us.”

“Even better.”

That caught him off guard. “Really?”

“Of course.” After a moment’s hesitation, Tadashi turned to look him in the eye. There was a level of uncertainty on his face that surprised Fred - he’d thought he was the only one feeling nervous about this. “It feels like things have gotten, I dunno, awkward between us.” Inwardly Fred squirmed guiltily. “Which sucks, because it makes me worry about stupid stuff like… you not wanting to be friends anymore, I guess.” Tadashi shrugged.

“Dude, no-”

“I know, I know,” Tadashi smiled ruefully. “It’s probably just me being dumb, but… anyway. I guess I’ve just missed hanging out with you, you know? Just the two of us. It means a lot to me.” Fred saw Tadashi’s face redden slightly right before he turned to walk on. “So, yeah, it’d be cool if we did this again-”

Fred stopped him by catching him by the hand.

It wasn’t by the shoulder, or the elbow, or even the wrist - he’d wasted enough time dancing around it and being unclear. No, Fred caught his hand, curling his fingers and clasping it warmly, before lightly tugging him back.

“That,” he began, throat bobbing as he swallowed against the lump in his throat, “was also not what I meant.”

Tadashi’s eyes were wide, staring back and forth between Fred’s face and their joined hands. He didn’t pull away.

Looking him in the eye at that moment was one of the scariest things Fred had ever done, but he did it anyway as he let the words come out on their own. “I like you,” he said firmly. “I am _attracted_ to you. I think you're the sexiest person I've ever met, and every time you laugh I want to kiss you. Also right now. I want to kiss you right now.” Fred paused, flushing. “And in case you still think I'm joking or being friendly or whatever the hell, I'm not, I am _flirting_. I am literally trying to be gay at you. Yes homo.”

Tadashi was turning around, turning his full body to face Fred, and oh God that could either be a very good thing or a very bad thing.

“S-so yeah,” Fred went on, wrestling the stammer out of his voice.. “I guess if you look at it that way, I don’t want to be friends anymore. But it’s like… I don’t want to be _just_ friends, you know? I mean,” he added quickly, “not that I don’t like being friends with you! It’s awesome. It’s really awesome being friends with you, it always has been, so if you don’t feel the same way, that’s cool too, forget I said anything. I just… y’know, thought you should know. How I feel and stuff.” Slowly, reluctantly, he let go of Tadashi’s hand and watched his face for a reaction.

He could see the gears turning behind Tadashi’s brown eyes, the thoughts jumbling together, the connections forming. Tadashi's eyes widened, his face flushed, and he covered his face was a quiet “ _Oh my God_.”

Fred’s heart sank a little. “Um-”

“Last Wednesday. Oh my God, I am such an _idiot_.”

“Uh, heh, well…” Fred laughed nervously. “Let the record show, you said it, not me.” He fidgeted a little. “So, um…” His voice trailed off as Tadashi lowered his hand from his face and gave him a thoughtful look.

It was either a few seconds or a few years before Tadashi’s mouth quirked in a little smile and he replied. “I think we should go for it.”

It took another four year-seconds for Fred to take in each word and fully register what Tadashi had just said, what he meant. “You do?”

Tadashi was blushing at him, he was blushing and it was absolutely _beautiful_. “This may come as a shock to you, but I actually like being around you. You coming into the lab is probably the best part of my day.” He paused, and Fred was glad for that because for a moment he was sure he was going to swoon or something equally lame. “And I trust you. So it pretty much boils down to this - you like me, I’m pretty sure I like you too, so let’s take a chance and see where it goes.”

It was almost surreal. Tadashi’s hand was warm when Fred took it again, and after almost a week of shying away from looking him in the eye, Fred found himself unable to look away from him. “Is it cool if I-” he began.

Tadashi grinned. “Sure.”

They had a bit of a false start - his nose, his _stupid dumb idiot nose got in the way_ \- but that was okay, all he had to do was tilt his head a little, problem solved. Tadashi’s mouth was warm against his, lips moving carefully, and with one hand he clasped Tadashi’s while the other went up to cup the side of his face. When they separated there was a tinge of red in Tadashi’s face and Fred could still taste mint.

The butterflies were back again, surging up in a rush of joy, and he stepped forward into a hug. He felt Tadashi’s arms around him, holding warmly against his chest, and he pressed his face against Tadashi’s shoulder with a shudder of delight.

This had been six years in the making. Not too shabby, as first kisses went.


	5. This is Where it Starts

This time, Fred was fully awake and self-aware for the ride back home. This time, he could actually sit on the back of the moped and enjoy the feeling of his arms around Tadashi - purely for a practical reason, of course, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to like it. And be a little bashful, admittedly. Hanging off of Tadashi suddenly meant something different now.

Different in a good way, but still different enough to warrant a little nervousness.

_Don’t mess this up_.

Tadashi slowed to a halt outside of the gate, and Fred unconsciously perked up a little on his perch. Presently the kiosk window slid open, and a familiar face poked out wreathed in smiles. “Fred! Heya, hun, good to see you lookin’ alive and alert.”

Fred waved cheerfully. “Hi, Caroline!”

“Hello again,” Tadashi greeted her.

“Oh, yeah!” Fred freed up one of his arms to point to him. “This is Tadashi, by the way, he’s my-” He stopped, with the word _boyfriend_ on the tip of his tongue. This had literally been their first date, and they’d spent most of it not even realizing it was a date. Maybe it was a little early to break out the B word. “Um…”

To his eternal embarrassment, Caroline winked broadly at him. “Oh my, your ‘um’,” she said with a knowing grin. “I see. I gotcha, Fred, don’t you worry. Careful, hun, I _married_ my last 'um.'”

Fred flushed furiously, muttering “Oh my God,” under his breath. In front of him, Tadashi ducked his head and stifled an embarrassed laugh.

“Someone’s had a good day,” Caroline remarked casually, opening the gate for them. “Come on by tomorrow morning, sweet pea, I’ll have some lemon squares for ya.”

“Thanks, Caroline!” Fred called back, as Tadashi rode on. He settled back on his perch. “Yeah, she's always like that,” he explained. “She’s been working that booth pretty much forever. I’ve seen her there since I was little.”

“She seems… welcoming,” Tadashi remarked.

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool.” Fred shrugged. “Asks about my day, bakes a lot, the works.”

“Heh, reminds me of my aunt.”

They reached the mansion without further incidents, and Heathcliff met them at the door. Fred beamed at him, still flushed from riding through the city while pretty much cuddling against Tadashi’s back, and he could have sworn that his butler smiled at the sight of them. They invited Tadashi in and of course he accepted, and with Heathcliff marching off to the kitchen to put some cookies in the oven, Fred led him to one of the game rooms. Video games were always an excellent pastime, after all, and setting up the Xbox worked wonders on his nerves. They settled on the couch, Fred passing a controller to Tadashi, and as he scrolled through his games, the quiet finally got to him.

“So…” Fred’s voice trailed off.

“So,” Tadashi agreed.

“I’ll be honest, I uh… kind of didn’t plan this far ahead.” Fred laughed nervously, lowering his controller. “Not sure where to go from here, but… is there anything you want, or don’t want? Like as far as I know… I mean is this your first time dating a guy?”

A tinge of pink entered Tadashi’s cheeks, but other than that he stayed impressively straight-faced. “Yeah, pretty much,” he admitted, with an embarrassed grin that, when coupled with the blush and the red in his ears, was _absolutely adorable_.

“Look, Tadashi, what I’m trying to ask is, um, how open about it do you want to be?”

“Um…” For a moment Tadashi looked ready to answer, but he paused, frowning a little.

“It’s fine if you don’t,” Fred added quietly.

“It’s – it’s not that I’m embarrassed.” Tadashi turned his head to meet Fred’s eyes steadily. “But this is really new territory for me, and… I want to figure it out myself, between the two of us, before I start trumpeting it off rooftops. Does – does that make sense?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” Fred leaned over briefly to bump their shoulders together. “We can keep it low-key for now, it’s cool.”

“Even from the others?”

Fred shrugged. “Might be a good idea anyway. Just so we have some time to make sure we don’t upset the friend-balance or anything.”

Beside him, Tadashi sighed with relief. “Thanks, Fred. Sorry, I’m just… I’m not usually shy about stuff like this, it’s really-”

Tadashi was blushing and the temptation was irresistible. Fred leaned in, tilted his head to keep his nose out of the way this time, and kissed him on the mouth again. Nothing forceful, just a soft, lingering press of lips.

“I think it’s cute,” he said once he’d pulled back. “Tadpole,” he added impishly.

If Tadashi never, ever stopped blushing, Fred could definitely live with that. Coughing and clearing his throat, Tadashi rubbed at his cheek as if trying to ward off the heat of his own embarrassment. “It’s weird, I’ve actually missed you calling me that.”

“Sorry about that.” Fred grinned ruefully. “When I realized how bad I was crushing on you, it suddenly felt… I dunno, weird or something. But I can start again now, if you want me to.” He paused thoughtfully. “Actually, it doesn’t really matter if you want me to or not. I’m probably gonna start anyway.”

“I can live with that.” Tadashi grinned.

“Awesome. So.” Fred perked up with a smile. “Plants Vs. Zombies. Shall we?”

* * *

Gogo contained her frustration throughout the following Monday. She had been half-hoping to get some kind of solid answer out of Tadashi, as to whether or not her little gambit had worked. But no, he’d come strolling in like he always did, only stopping to ask if Gogo was okay after her “illness” and thanking her profusely for the tickets.  _Yeah yeah you’re welcome,_ she thought.  _But like I need to know whether or not you swept him off his feet. Or if he swept you off your feet, I don’t care who did the sweeping as long as one of you did._

But no, he’d wandered off to his lab station and Gogo was left wondering whether she’d botched it or Tadashi was just being cagey about it.

Irritated, Gogo quietly vented her frustration by diving deep into her project. Failed, malfunctioning wheels she deactivated and tossed in the junk bin. She slashed designs onto graph paper with harsh, gouging lines, tearing and crumpling the ones that didn’t satisfy her and lobbing the balled-up papers through Wasabi’s laser grid. Messy, but fun and cathartic.

And then Fred walked in, and with one look Gogo had all the answer she needed.

In the past couple of days she had seen her friend pad around like a lost puppy, usually at Tadashi’s heels, and in her eyes it was the saddest damn thing she'd seen all week. But now, it seemed like someone had seen fit to throw his inner puppy a bone. The bounce of his step was just barely restrained enough for Gogo to refrain from calling it “skipping,” and his entire face was taken up by the Platonic ideal of a shit-eating grin. And when Tadashi looked up, the first person to notice him (second counting Gogo herself), she saw that bashful look they traded from halfway across the room and _yes, yes, holy crap it worked and I am a genius_.

Fred gave her the same song and dance that Tadashi had that morning - _Glad you’re feeling better, sorry you couldn’t come, sure was fun, thanks for the free tickets_. Gogo brushed it off, of course, and aimed one of her crumpled design attempts at his head for good measure. In an impressive display of coordination or luck, Fred batted it in midair and sent it sailing into the laser grid, where it exploded in a shower of confetti.

She did note, however, that neither of the boys mentioned the change. If Honey or Wasabi noticed, which she doubted (Wasabi was too busy protesting the misuse of his equipment), neither of them said anything, either. So Gogo, too, kept her mouth shut and contented herself with admiring her handiwork from afar.

“Seriously thanks,” Fred said, emphatically enough that Gogo hoped for his sake that he wouldn’t arouse anyone’s suspicion. “It was awesome.”

“Yeah, rub it in,” Gogo said playfully. She turned away, and out of the corner of her eye she saw Tadashi reach out and brush Fred’s hand with his own. _You are welcome, my friend_.

This called for a pizza party. Her own private pizza party at home, because Gogo, the artist formerly known as Ethel Kim, was the best ghost-winglady in the history of matchmaking.

* * *

For the life of him, Tadashi could not shake the feeling that he was in high school all over again. He may as well have been fifteen years old, quietly working himself into a panic over anything from a simple text to an impending date. What to say, what to do, have I been smiling for too long, would this be the right moment for a kiss? Everything was questions and tripping and nervousness, as if dating was completely new to him.

And, in a lot of ways, it was. This was a double first for him - for the past twenty years he had been theoretically straight, and for the first time in his life he was feeling the butterflies for a guy – again, theoretically. And not just any guy, no, which brought him to the other first - dating a friend.

Not to say that he was the type to ask for a number from a complete stranger. But there was a difference between going out with a casual acquaintance, or with a sister of a friend of a friend, and going out with Fred. Somehow, six years’ worth of platonic affection hadn’t prepared him for a paradigm shift like this.

And maybe Tadashi would not have been so quietly terrified if there was someone he felt comfortable talking to about this. But thus far he and Fred (and Fred's butler, and Caroline the gate lady in his neighborhood) were the only ones who knew about it. He could hardly talk to Fred about his uncertainty and nervousness over dating him, which was unfortunate because Fred was usually his go-to guy for getting this kind of thing off his chest. Wasabi and Gogo didn't do relationship stuff, as far as Tadashi knew. Wasabi either remained oblivious to this kind of thing or pointedly ignored it; one of the fastest ways to get him out of a room was to get Honey Lemon talking about it. As for Gogo... Gogo was a great friend, but she was Tadashi's last pick for sitting down and talking about feelings. She was all about action – her response to other people's problems was always some variation of “What are you gonna do about it?” Honey Lemon was a maybe. On the one hand, judging by the amount of gossip he heard from her, she was well-versed in this kind of thing. On the other... well, she gossiped. Not that he didn't trust her, but with some things it was better to err on the side of caution.

As for his family... well, Aunt Cass had her hands full running a business by herself, and there was no way in hell he was going to resort to whinging about this at Hiro. Besides, they still thought he was straight.

And that was why he almost jumped out of his skin when Hiro, sprawled out on the couch with a magazine, interrupted his anxious pacing. “Hey Aunt Cass, looks like Tadashi’s got a girlfriend again.”

“What?” he blurted.

Aunt Cass poked her head out of the kitchen. “Really?” she said brightly.

“I never said that,” Tadashi spluttered.

Without looking up from the article he was reading, Hiro turned a page and went on. “Pacing. Glued to your phone. Muttering like you’re practicing what you’re gonna say. Got girlfriend written all over it.”

Tadashi scowled at him. “For your information, I do _not_ have a girlfriend.”

“Okay then, you have a date, whatever,” Hiro said, shrugging. “I’m just saying maybe she’ll eventually be a girlfriend, but not if you give yourself a heart attack now.”

“You’re very helpful,” Tadashi said acidly. No, he was _definitely_ _never_ confiding in Hiro about this.

Aunt Cass hadn’t lost her bright smile. “ _Do_ you need any help?” she asked. “If you do, don’t be afraid to ask. Even if you just need some date ideas.”

“Er, no,” Tadashi stammered. “I mean, we’re both busy for finals week, but we’re thinking of doing something once the term’s over.”

“Dating another nerd, then,” Hiro piped up.

“Not everyone who goes to college is a nerd!”

“Are you dating a Phys Ed major?”

“No!”

“Then you’re dating a nerd. Sorry, Tadashi, I don’t make the rules.”

Tadashi picked up the nearest pillow and threw it at him, and Aunt Cass laughed until there were tears in her eyes.

* * *

It wasn’t often that a young man was accused of having the vapors, but for the life of him Heathcliff couldn’t think of a better way to describe his charge’s behavior.

Oh, well. They seemed to be happy vapors, at least.

“It’s just. Ohmygod,” Frederick said, for approximately the thirty-seventh time that day. It had been “just ohmygod” since that Saturday, when the boy had finally found it in himself to confess his feelings without losing his nerve. Heathcliff was enormously proud of him, showering him with polite mental applause and keeping his own personal handkerchief-dabbing for when no one was looking. (As if any of the household staff could blame him, for heaven’s sake.)

“As you say, sir,” Heathcliff said smoothly. “Shall we be expecting him to call again soon?”

“Soon yeah, right away no.” Frederick sprawled upside down on the sofa, his legs hooked over the top of the backrest. “Finals week is coming up, y'know? Everybody's busy til the end of the term.”

“Would this entity 'Everybody' include yourself, Master Frederick?” Heathcliff inquired.

“Yup! I'm off mascot duty, but that just leaves room for more charity stuff. And you _know_ it's gonna blow up come summer when everyone's got time for community service. I mean, I hope that doesn't get in the way of anything, but they're kind of counting on me, so...” Rather impressive, that he could shrug just as freely upside down as he did the right way up. “Meh, I'll figure it out. I always do.”

“Of course, sir.” Heathcliff allowed a touch of dryness into his voice. “On the other hand, I was referring to your own academics.”

“Oh, pshh, yeah.” Frederick flapped a hand dismissively. “All my papers are in, there's just finals left. I'm good.”

“I see.” Fitting a paragraph's worth of meaning into two monosyllabic words was a finely-honed skill.

“Hey, finals are easy,” his charge went on. “I've mainly got lit classes, and the great thing about finals? Basically just more essays, only I got two hours so I can do it shorter and messier. No in-depth stuff, just proving I've been doing the reading and showing up to class. Heck, two of my classes are take-home finals.”

There were days when Heathcliff quietly fretted at the boy's rather debonair treatment of certain aspects of his schoolwork. He did his level best not to agonize over it, or at least not to show it if he did. After all, the young man had been sitting firmly on the Dean's List since his first term in spite of his extensive extracurricular activities, so he must have been doing something correctly.

“Finals are a no-brainer,” Frederick went on, somewhat quietly. “It's this thing with Tadashi that's got me worried.”

Heathcliff hummed thoughtfully. Poor boy needed to vent his cares.

“I mean, yeah, I asked him out and he said yes and I even kissed him a couple of times, which was-” Frederick stuttered a bit. “I mean, it was _awesome_. But I'm not, like, out of the woods. We've been on one date and I wouldn't call us boyfriends yet, because there is _so_ much room for me to screw up, you know?”

“Indeed.” Ah, the trials of young love.

“Also what if he decides he's straight after all? I mean, I don't even have to screw anything up, maybe he just ends up not feeling that way about me. I dunno, Heathcliff, I get the feeling he's not all that sure about it and he's still trying to decide on stuff, you know?”

“I believe I do, yes.” Quite the risk, especially with their past close friendship, if Heathcliff was any judge.

“What do you think?”

That gave Heathcliff pause. There was a line that he did his best not to cross, and as worrisome as Frederick's situation was, it didn't quite call for it just yet. He chose his words carefully. “I think he cares for you,” he said at length. “And that will count for something however it turns out.”

It was the right thing to say. With a grunt of effort, Frederick struggled to turn himself upright again. “You're right. Whatever else, we're friends first. Aaaand, I think I'll let him take the lead on this. If he's still figuring himself out. And we'll talk and stuff. That should work. Talking is good.”

“Of course it is.” Such a smart boy. Sometimes Heathcliff was hard pressed to understand why he ever worried about him at all.

Ah, well. Someone had to, he supposed.


	6. Small Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: some spoilers for Steven Universe.

Tadashi wandered into the study lounge. His vision was blurry, his hand ached, and he had the tune of “Doe a Deer” stuck in his head, but he managed to stagger over to the nearest couch and flop facedown.

“Freedooooom,” he mumbled into the cushion.

“No, stop,” Gogo said flatly from the nearest table, surrounded by open books and pages of notes. “You're gonna make me jealous.”

Tadashi took a deep breath and answered with a drawn-out, wordless noise that sounded a little like “ _ Weehhhhh _ .”

“Did you finish your last final?” Honey asked. She was sitting crosslegged in another chair with an open textbook in her lap. “I still have one left for O-Chem. I don't even know where Wasabi is.”

“Well you're both lucky bastards because I have two tomorrow,” Gogo snapped.

Tadashi winced in sympathy. “On the last day?”

“Yyyyyup. So, like, get lost, will you?” Gogo scowled over a page of notes. “This is a study lounge and you have nothing else to study for, buddy.”

Honey glared at her. “That's mean, Gogo.”

“No... no, she's right,” Tadashi said reluctantly. He tried to get up, but overbalanced and ended up rolling off the couch and onto the floor instead. Impact nearly drove the wind out of him. “...Ow.”

Gogo pushed a paper aside and highlighted something. “Wow. Studying and a show.”

“Are you okay?” Honey shifted, ready to get up.

“Fine.” Tadashi struggled up. “Gogo's right, though.”

“I usually am.”

Rolling his eyes, Tadashi pulled a face at her. “I'm gonna go. Good luck, guys.”

“Don't forget about us,” Honey Lemon called after him, waving melodramatically.

He felt stiff when he stepped out of the study lounge, but it was a good, satisfying kind of ache. It was weird how just being done with something could make exhaustion almost pleasant. Swallowing a yawn, Tadashi passed Professor Callaghan in the hallway and caught the somewhat amused, vaguely sympathetic look that his mentor gave him.

Callaghan paused. “Looking a little worse for wear, Mr. Hamada,” he remarked.

Grinning a little, Tadashi stopped to shrug. “I just finished my last final, so I think I can live with that. And now that I have time, I was just going to check on my project, so...”

“Goodness, don't let me hold you up.” Laughing a little, Callaghan reached out and straightened the cap on Tadashi's head. “And don't hang around in the lab too long, either. Enjoy your break.”

Ducking a little, Tadashi grinned. “I will, Professor. Thanks.”

He had planned to run a few performance tests in his lab before heading home, but it was not to be. The moment he stepped inside his lab, his motivation promptly vanished, leaving him standing and staring at his project in a slight daze.

He could probably muscle his way out of it, if he really tried. Forcing motivation was a necessary skill in college. But on the other hand, overcoming a lack of motivation through willpower was a bit like trying to Google ways to fix your broken internet connection; there was a vital component missing.

Hell with it. Finals were over and he'd earned a break.

Tadashi settled for straightening his lab. Swallowing a yawn, he got to work. There wasn't that much to do, just organize textbooks into a neat stack, gather up stray study guides and worksheets, and put his notebooks back in order. That done, he checked his phone. His inbox was almost empty – the only new text was one from Hiro ( _ How would a centaur's spine even work? It's a right angle. Cool, but sadly impractical. _ )

“Huh.” Shrugging to himself, Tadashi called Fred.

Fred's phone rang twice before he picked up. “Hey, Tadpole, what's up?” From the sound of his voice, he was pretty tired too.

There was no one else around, but Tadashi couldn't help ducking his head a little when he smiled. “Done with finals,” he told him. “I'm, uh. Probably gonna be busy sleeping for most of the rest of today, but you want to get together tomorrow?”

“Oh, uh, yeah!” Fred's voice brightened audibly. Something clattered in the background, as if he'd knocked it over in his excitement. “Sure, w-where do you want to go?”

“Um.” Put on the spot, Tadashi's brain was jarred into action. “Oh hey, we haven't gone to the Wharf in a while, you want to go, uh... hang out? Wander, I guess?” He covered the mouthpiece for a moment to make sure Fred couldn't hear him wince.

“Sounds awesome!” Fred said eagerly. “We can meet at... Pier 39, how about?”

Tadashi sighed with a level of relief that he shouldn't have been feeling. “Cool, see you then.”

“Yeah, buh-bye.”

As he hung up, Tadashi was acutely aware of his own pulse. He could feel it beating in his chest, as if he'd just jogged across the campus. This was ridiculous – now he couldn't even plan to hang out with Fred without an adrenaline rush? Of course, it wasn't just hanging out anymore. No more joking about bro-dates. These were straight-up dates. His pulse responded to the thought, and the rushing feeling in his chest was not altogether unpleasant.

_ It's just Fred _ , he thought, and after a moment of repeating that in his mind, he felt himself calm down. It was just Fred, his friend who he first met in a dumpster. There was nothing to be nervous about. Nothing at all.

But first he needed to collapse in his own bed for a nap.

 

* * *

Conversations were strange things. Between casual acquaintances they might barely venture beyond small talk and lip service and pithy remarks about the weather. Past the awkward hurdle, though, anything was possible. Pithy weather-related remarks might turn to in-depth political discussion, moral quandaries, or arguments over the best way to cut up a pineapple. Much like a proper episode of  _ The Simpsons _ , they could start in one place and end up somewhere entirely different.

Walking along the waterfront with Fred, Tadashi spared one section of his brain to marvel at this. A discussion that had started with “Hey, how was finals?” had somehow progressed to cartoons. Not that this was unusual – it had been pretty much par for course since high school. Tadashi had to wonder how much had actually changed in the switch from “hanging out” to “dating.”

“I'm telling you,” Fred was saying emphatically. “It was a great twist, but I totally saw it coming. Like a  _ mile _ off. They dropped so many hints for the entire show, they might as well have changed the title to  _ Steven Universe: Squaremom is Mom Squared _ .”

Tadashi had been about to reply, but had to pause and laugh. When it subsided, he shrugged. “Keep in mind not everyone can analyze every minute detail of the show.”

Fred looked pleased with himself. “I didn't even have to, man.”

“Oh, really?” Tadashi smirked a little. “In that case, I don't think it counts as seeing it coming if you read someone else's prediction on the internet.”

“Oh, come on,” Fred elbowed him gently. “Everyone saw it coming, don't tell me you didn't.”

“Well, I did, but I didn't come up with it on my own,” Tadashi admitted. “Besides, I try not to predict everything before it happens. It seems, I dunno, cynical.” Inwardly he winced, hoping that Fred didn't find it as insulting as it felt.

To his relief, Fred shrugged it off with a grin, as usual. “It's not cynical,” Fred informed him. “It's just – it's like part of the fun, you know? Picking apart the story, seeing how the whole thing ticks, and then using it to figure out where it's gonna go next. Don't tell me you've never done that before.”

“Huh.” Tadashi frowned thoughtfully. “I guess I have.”

“See?”

“Not on TV shows, though,” Tadashi went on. “I do it with tech. It's pretty fun.”

“Haha, nerd.” Fred nudged him again.

“Says the guys who writes academic analyses on children's cartoons.”

“It's a useful skill!” Fred insisted.

“How so?”

“Look, it's like this.” Fred was doing that thing again, the “lecture mode” thing where he gestured with one hand and put the other behind his back like he was about to start fencing. Tadashi sometimes wondered if he even realized he was doing it. “Art and fiction are a representation of, like,  _ life _ , dude. Nothing's made in a vacuum – ideas gotta come from somewhere, and most of the time it's the creator's experiences. I mean, even if your protag is his own mom and he's raised by sentient space rocks, you gotta have  _ some _ realism or everyone's eyes are gonna roll back.”

Tadashi nodded. “Oh yeah, SU has  _ loads _ of realism,” he agreed sincerely.

Fred let his arms swing at his sides again. “I  _ know _ , right? Like Steven's dad – I  _ love _ Greg Universe, by the way, he's like, he's not always around, but he's there if Steven needs him and he's still a good dad, you know? Kinda reminds me of, like, divorced dads with visitation rights.” He paused. “How about you, what do you see in it?”

Tadashi pressed his lips together before answering. “Grief,” he said. “It has – I mean, it has  _ really  _ good portrayals of grief. Different kinds of grieving.” He thought of Hiro. “Having parents you never met, that kind of thing.”

“Oooh, like in 'Rose's Scabbard'?”

“Exactly. I was  _ bawling _ .” Fred laughed a little at that, and Tadashi shook his head with a rueful smile. “I'm serious. Hiro's never gonna let me live it down.”

Their laughter died away, and they lapsed briefly into silence. Tadashi knew why, and he could tell by the fading smile on Fred's face that Fred probably knew, too. Their eyes met briefly, Fred gave him a lopsided grin, and then there was no “probably” anymore. They were definitely in agreement.

For as long as they had been friends, they had talked about everything – as long as  _ everything _ was followed by an asterisk and the words  _ except for our parents _ . They had never voiced that agreement aloud. Fred had never asked him not to, nor had Tadashi asked him. It had simply been an unspoken agreement. And Tadashi could only marvel at how, after years of successfully and almost inadvertently avoiding the subject, their conversation about cartoons had brought them right to it. Maybe this was just the right time to finally tackle that particular elephant.

Tadashi stalled by adjusting his jacket and crossing his arms against the chill. In spite of the impending summer, the wind off the bay was cold, and he was glad he'd kept his sweater and jacket on. If nothing else, it gave him something to do with his hands. “So... I can't believe it's really taken me this long to ask you this,” Tadashi said. “But what do your parents actually do?”

“Meh.” Fred shrugged. “It's pretty boring, I mean my dad's family is kinda old-money-ish, so part of it is just riding coattails. And there's a big-ass company involved, but half the time it's like it runs itself. My dad owns it.”

“What's it do?”

“Lots of tech stuff, mainly.” Fred screwed up his face thoughtfully. “Part of why I'm, y'know, kind of interested in it. But there's also investing and stockholding and stuff and it's all really complicated and, like I said, boring. My mom and dad's families were business partners, so it worked out I guess.” He fidgeted a little as he walked. “It's not much of a story 'cause honestly I don't know much about it either. I don't see them a lot, they're busy all the time and obviously they can't work from home, so... I'm  _ pretty _ sure it's not normal that I know my butler's birthday like Christmas but I have to write my mom's on every calendar I own so I don't forget.”

It didn't take a psychic to see that this line of questioning was making him uncomfortable – of course it was, after six years of never going down this road. Tadashi fought the urge to bite his lip. “My dad was a doctor,” he blurted, having nothing else prepared to say. He felt the sidewalk draw his eyes. “ER surgeon. My mom was in publishing.”

Even with his eyes on the ground in front of him, Tadashi could feel Fred watching him. It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, which was why Tadashi managed to look up at him again. “You don't talk about them a whole lot,” Fred said awkwardly. “I mean, neither do I, but...”  _ It started somehow, _ he didn't say.  _ Chicken or the egg? _

“Well... when you're like me, you kinda learn not to.” Tadashi shrugged, embarrassed. “I mean, most people, you tell 'em you're an orphan and you can pinpoint the exact second they start quietly panicking.” He hesitated. “I think it's easier on Hiro, he doesn't remember them very well, so he can shrug it off – I  _ think _ . But with me, it's definitely easier to just avoid making people trip over themselves to apologize for something that happened over ten years ago.”

Fred nodded. “Hard to relate to, I guess.”

“So's being rich,” Tadashi pointed out. “Personally, I don't blame you for keeping that close to your chest. I probably would, too.”

“Yeah, but it's not the same.” Fred shook his head. “I mean it's like, like a positive thing, you know?”

He called it a positive thing, but Tadashi could see him frowning as the words left his mouth. “But you're not happy about it,” he observed.

Fred laughed sheepishly. “I got nothing to complain about, seriously,” he replied. “I mean, I'm good. I'm grateful for it. I could go on and on about the problems I do have, whine about being a lonely rich kid – and I have, by the way. You should see my journal entries from junior high, I was friggin'  _ insufferable _ .”

“Pretty sure we all were,” Tadashi assured him.

“You helped me grow out of that,” Fred blurted, and it took a great deal of Tadashi's self-control to keep from tripping over himself. “I mean, you never talked about your problems, but they were there, and I guess just being around you made me figure out some stuff. Like, yeah my parents aren't around a lot, but they're  _ there _ , and if I really wanted to I could pick up a phone and talk to them, and that's worth something. And besides that, I don't have to worry about anything, you know? I'm happy. I like where I am.” He paused to let out a breath. “It's just that 'where I am' involves a lot of people not knowing my family's loaded. Sooo I don't talk about it.”

There wasn't a whole lot Tadashi could say to that. It was also difficult to put into words the sudden rush of warmth he felt, just watching Fred's face as he spoke. Ever since half-carrying Fred home on the night of his twenty-first birthday, he had felt this, as if he was looking at Fred with new eyes. There was so much behind what he was saying – subtext, just like in the stories Fred loved.

Had it always been that way? Had he simply missed it this whole time? Would he have found his way to this even if Fred hadn't kissed him in the middle of the Arboretum?

In that moment, Tadashi realized that he was frankly too captivated to need those questions answered. It had been a joy, getting to know Fred the first time around, and now it seemed he had a chance to do it all over again.

He wouldn't have given it up for the world.

Embarrassed, and keenly aware of his incredibly poor poker face, he simply settled for the first thing that popped into his head. “For what it's worth,” he said, feeling warmth spread from inside to out. “I like where you are, too.”

Fred's smile lit up his entire face, and it seemed to Tadashi like the perfect time to slip his hand into Fred's. He must have been right – watching Fred's face, he could read surprise at first before delight took over. After a moment, Fred laced their fingers together and clasped his hand warmly. It was a good fit.

Such a good fit, in fact, that there was really no reason to let go for the rest of the date.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let it be known that, much like Steven Quartz Universe himself, I love schmaltz.


	7. The Start of Summer

Tadashi's break, as it turned out, was considerably shorter than Fred's, for the simple reason that Fred, like most sane and unhurried college students, skipped the summer term over at SF State. For Fred, there was really no need to cut into his summer break; he could easily work on his senior thesis at home. But Tadashi's project was a very contrary unfinished robot, and as well-stocked as his garage was, he liked to do his tinkering on campus, with school lab resources and his professor just down the hall in case of emergencies. Fred, in spite of a lack of mascot-required activities bringing him onto the SFIT campus, found the time to drop in on him and chat or admire his work or steal a kiss. There wasn't as much time for dates as there had been over Tadashi's brief break, but he liked the company and Fred hardly ever needed an excuse to come over.

Tadashi was alone at first when Baymax delivered another blow to his productivity. As botched tests went, it was certainly one of the tamer ones. It definitely beat Test #12, which had ended when Baymax's flailing arm punched him in the face, or that other time he almost deafened Tadashi with a grating high-pitched tone.

It had happened quickly. Tadashi had paused to read a new text from Hiro (“ _Every time I see an Old Navy commercial, I have this sudden urge to run over something with a truck. Like not a living thing. Just something. I don't know how to drive._ ”) then given a hasty introduction to the camera, started the test somewhat warily, and waited on bated breath while Baymax started on the pre-programmed introduction. He had just been getting hopeful again when Baymax had stopped midsentence, flopped uselessly like one of those inflatable arm-flailing tube men, and rapidly lost power.

It was somewhat disheartening to watch.

Then Tadashi had tried manually deactivating him, and... well, the result somewhat resembled a pile of laundry tossed carelessly over a misshapen car battery. That was where Tadashi had stopped to sit down, if only to keep from bursting into tears.

* * *

Around lunchtime, Fred found Tadashi slumped over the desk in his lab, arms spread out in front of him, face to the desk top. His jacket and hat were on the floor, his black hair was in a disarray, and every few seconds he lifted his head a few inches, just high enough to let it drop again so that his forehead thudded lightly against the wooden surface. Even from the doorway, he could hear Tadashi muttering to himself. “No. Forget this. Forget everything, everything is terrible and I hate it.”

“Totally disagree,” Fred replied, wandering in. “I mean, _I'm_ pretty great.”

A stream of almost-profanity was Tadashi's only response. Frowning, Fred leaned back on his heels and observed his maybe-boyfriend in his natural habitat. It was a familiar sight – Tadashi would get stuck on a problem, and then he'd mope around his lab and haunt the building like a restless ghost until inspiration struck again, at which point he would swan-dive back into his work as if he was afraid he'd lose it if he didn't work fast enough. It was a lot different from Fred's academic method, which was to put off the bulk of the work until the night before the deadline, at which point desperation would browbeat words out of him until he was practically vomiting literary analysis onto the page. Fred worked in a mad last-minute rush, while Tadashi worked in fits and starts.

Sometimes, watching Tadashi, Fred did look forward to meeting the rest of his family – was this just a Tadashi thing, or did he actually get it from someone?

A pile of rumpled white vinyl sat in the middle of the floor, draped over what Fred knew would be a collapsed robotic skeleton. “Problems with your project?”

“ _Every time_.” Tadashi's voice, muffled in his hunched position, rang with dismay and disappointment. “Every time I think I'm making major headway, just – something comes up and then everything goes bad.” He banged his head on his desk again. “I just don't get what I'm doing wrong.”

“Well...” Fred left off nudging the vinyl with his foot to wander over. After a moment of waffling, he made up his mind with a mental shrug and draped himself loosely over Tadashi's back. “What's not working?”

“Too many things to count,” Tadashi grumbled, though he didn't try to shrug Fred off. “It's like with that one Greek monster – every time you cut one head off and you think you're good, suddenly two more pop up that you have to deal with. Every time I fix something, I find more problems and I'm really, really sick of it.” He raised his head just enough to rest his chin on his crossed arms. “How am I supposed to get to the finer tuning if I can't even get the basic structural stuff to work right?”

“What's it supposed to do?” Fred asked, pressing closer. Was the leaning annoying? Making Tadashi even more upset was the last thing he wanted to do, but frankly he didn't know how else to offer sympathy. “Like what's the biggest exact problem you're working on now?”

“I've been trying to test out his medical functions,” Tadashi explained. “But _now_ I'm having problems with getting this guy to shrink back into the case when he deactivates. Which means I'm probably going to have problems activating him, too. And I'm miles away from being able to test out his scanner.”

“We've tested that, though.” Fred pointed out, straightening a little.

Tadashi shrugged, though he waited until Fred wasn't leaning on him quite as heavily. “Not when it's installed in the robot, we haven't.”

He sounded so dejected that it made Fred's chest ache. “Alrighty then.” Abruptly Fred stepped back, so suddenly that Tadashi sat up a little straighter to look at him curiously. Wandering over to the nearest empty chair, Fred grabbed it, dragged it over, and sat in it backwards so that he faced Tadashi with his arms crossed over the back rest. At Tadashi's mystified look, he grinned and beckoned. “Explain it to me.”

“Explain... what?”

“The stuff. All the... everything. Coding and junk.” Fred beckoned again. “C'mon, lay it on me.”

Tadashi frowned. “It's... really complicated, Fred. I mean, I'm not sure...” His voice trailed off.

“You're not sure I'm gonna get it?” Fred shook his head. “There's no way in _hell_ I'm gonna get it.” He grinned impishly. “But I don't have to. Just explain it to me, step by step, and I'll sit here and stare blankly and listen. I'll be your rubber duck, dude.”

“My what now?”

“Just do it, come on,” Fred urged.

“Well... okay,” Tadashi conceded. He straightened up in his seat, turned to face Fred fully, and haltingly began a description of... well, basically his entire project. One thing at a time, from an overview of the hardware to a more detailed description of the software.

It was... well, it was a lot of words. That much Fred could tell. A lot of them were words he knew by themselves, but put together, their meaning escaped him. He listened politely, nodded along, and let the information sail in one ear and out the other. He retained maybe a few separate sentences. But that was okay – it was fascinating to watch, anyway.

Tadashi had started off hesitantly, unsure of where to begin, but once he figured out a place to start, he basically took off. His eyebrows were knitted together in a thoughtful expression, almost staring past Fred, like he was visualizing what he was saying. Half the talking was done by his hands, gesturing like he was speaking his own private sign language.

Tadashi Hamada, when in his element, was _fascinating_.

And then, as Fred had been hoping, he tripped up. In the middle of a description of one line of code or another, Tadashi paused and frowned. “Hang on a second,” he muttered, and Fred hung on as Tadashi grabbed one of his notebooks and flipped through it. “Hang on, I might've – oh man. Oh man, right there. Right there's I messed up. How did I miss that?”

Tadashi shoved himself out of his chair, went to the pile of deactivated balloon robot, and retrieved something – a green data chip that fit in the palm of his hand. Returning to his desk, he plugged it into his computer and began scrolling through lines of code.

“Oh my God, I'm an idiot. I – am an _idiot_.”

Fred grinned, letting his chin rest on the palm of his hand. “Totally disagree.”

“I just found like five problems,” Tadashi blurted. “But I found where they _are_.”

“You're welcome.” Was he smirking? Maybe it was a little douchey to smirk at that.

“Thank you – seriously, rubber duck?” Tadashi paused to look at him quizzically.

Fred shrugged. “Buddy of mine at SF State,” he said. “Comp Sci major. They have this thing called rubber duck debugging, basically they explain their entire code, line by line, to a rubber duck. Like it helps to just explain it to someone, to figure out where all the bugs are. So... if you ever get stuck, just... go ahead and drag me in and talk at me until you figure out wh-”

He didn't get further. Tadashi pushed off from the desk, slid over on his swivel chair, and cut him off by kissing him. _Hell yes_.

It was at that precise moment that Professor Callaghan happened to walk in.

Fred knew that this was what had happened because he felt Tadashi freeze, saw him looking past Fred's shoulder with a thousand-yard stare – and the awkward throat-clearing from the doorway was pretty much unmistakeable. Fred looked over his shoulder, wide-eyed, just as Callaghan started talking.

“Thought I'd let you know, Dr. Itou got back to you on your request, Tadashi,” the professor said mildly. For a split second he regarded the two of them with a look of amusement. “...I'll come back later. Afternoon, Mr. Whitmore.” With that, he turned and left them staring after him, dumbstruck.

Tadashi was the first to break the silence. “Oh my God.” he sat back and slid down in his chair, covering his face. “ _Oh my God_ , that did not just happen.”

“Well that was a little awkward.” Fred tried not to, he really did, because he knew how uncertain Tadashi was about all this, but he couldn't keep the burst of high, nervous laughter from escaping. He broke it off by coughing when he caught sight of the mortified look on Tadashi's face. “Oh – no, it's gonna be okay, I mean we weren't doing anything inappropriate and Callaghan thinks you're cool anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Tadashi slid his hands up to run his fingers through his hair. “Just – wasn't expecting that. Oh man, I thought my heart was gonna explode.” His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “Still might. Wow. That was really awkward. Now I have to go talk to him and stuff, this'll be fun.”

“Hey.” Fred touched his arm. “It's fine. We're all adults, he's not gonna clutch his pearls over this, seriously. Callaghan's like the second chillest professor I've ever met, he'll be fine with it.”

In spite of his embarrassment, Tadashi raised an eyebrow. “Second chillest professor?”

Fred shrugged. “I took Creative Nonfiction from this guy Wendroff last term – he was like a stoner, only slightly less responsible.” It made Tadashi laugh at least, though that might have been the leftover nervousness. “Hey, you laugh, but I got an A. You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, I'm fine, just got caught off guard, that's all.” Tadashi stood up. “Welp, he had something to tell me anyway, so I'm gonna go get the obvious awkward moment out of the way. I'll be right back.”

“Sure, uh...” Fred paused, momentarily paralyzed by indecision. Suddenly, just looking up at Tadashi from below, the temptation to pull him down into his lap and kiss him was almost overwhelming. _I'm getting silly_ , he thought, letting the urge pass over him. “I'll stick around and wait. Hope it's good news.”

“Yeah, me too. I've been waiting on Itou for weeks.” Tadashi grinned, and the urge rose up again, but he was already walking out.

Once he was gone, Fred sat back, laughing a little at himself. So nice of his brain to point out every separate opportunity to kiss Tadashi. It was like he'd accidentally installed one of those annoying computer office assistants in his brain. For a moment he imagined that obnoxious cartoon paperclip giving him dating advice. _It looks like you're dating your best friend. Would you like help? Now would be a good time to make out_. Like, no thanks, Clippy, now where's the “Don't show me this tip again” button? It was getting seriously getting distracting.

Besides, he reminded himself as he let his head rest back against the chair, Tadashi's not going anywhere. Take it slow. You have all the time in the world.

* * *

Most people agreed that Pavlovian conditioning, while an interesting science experiment, was unethical when imposed on humans, but Tadashi was personally glad that after several years with Callaghan as his professor, he associated the sight of Callaghan's office door with feeling good about himself. Just turning the knob and opening the door, breathing in the peculiar combined smell of books, air freshener, and coffee, calmed his nerves and pushed back the lingering embarrassment. He'd been holding his breath, he realized. Stepping inside, he let it out.

Callaghan was at his desk already, squinting at his computer screen over the reading glasses perched on his nose. “Hey, Professor.” Tadashi threw a small mock-salute. “What'd Dr. Itou have to say?”

His professor gestured to the chair in front of him. “Have a seat.” Tadashi did so. “First things first, she did some shuffling, a couple students dropped out of her class, and you got moved from fourth on the waiting list to an available seat in the course.”

Tadashi brightened. “Really?”

“You're in, Mr. Hamada.” Callaghan grinned at him. “Whatever you said to her must have been convincing.” The professor paused to pull a sticky note from the side of his monitor and pass it over. “She was having some issues with her e-mail, so here's the course registration number. Last day to add classes is in... four days, I believe, so don't dawdle now.”

“ _Yes_.” Embarrassment forgotten – obviously wasn't a big deal to Callaghan, after all – Tadashi took the yellow slip from him. “Man, I thought I was gonna have to wait til my last term to get a spot in that class.”

Callaghan chuckled. “Well, as it happens, you've gotten into this class early enough to boost you ahead. ...Somewhat significantly.”

Tadashi leaned forward. “How significantly?”

“Well – here, I have your record up, have a look.” Callaghan tilted the screen toward him. “You dealt with your GE's when you were an underclassman, you're almost done with your undergraduate requirements for your major, and you're taking the summer term. Provided you don't have any unpleasant surprises, you can probably graduate without taking the last term.”

“You're kidding,” Tadashi blurted, leaning closer to see the screen. “Are you serious?”

“That's not all,” Callaghan went on. “Dr. Itou's course is the most difficult step left for you. Your last term should be smooth sailing – you might even take an elective or two, just for fun. You know, just get your money's worth on that tuition.”

“I don't believe it,” Tadashi breathed. “I mean, I was hoping my last couple of terms would be, y'know, a breather so I could improve on my project, but I didn't think I'd get to just skip one completely.”

“And speaking of your project, how's that coming along?”

Tadashi winced. “Eh... bumps in the road. But I'm getting there. I should be able to finish in time to graduate early.”

“Excellent.” Callaghan straightened his monitor again. “I do believe you're set. Of course, you'll be ending mid-year, so unfortunately this won't give you a head-start on graduate studies, but after all the work you've been doing, that may be for the best. Take some time to breathe.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Tadashi bounced his foot to burn off excess energy. Finding the problem with Baymax had given him a confidence boost already, but this was the best news Callaghan could have given him. At the mention of graduate studies, he ducked his head bashfully.“Er, you can still mentor me through my graduate studies, right?” he asked hopefully.

Callaghan smiled at him, and there was pride in his eyes that made Tadashi sit taller. “Wouldn't miss it.”

Tadashi suppressed a sigh of relief. He would swear by his parents' graves that he would never have made it this far this quickly without Callaghan's dedicated mentoring. The man made him want to shoot for a PhD, and made him believe he could pull it off, too. “Anything else?” he asked.

“No, that's about it. I won't keep you any longer. Don't forget to register for that class, now.”

“Of course.” Tadashi stood up to leave, and only then remembered the other reason he'd come down the hall to talk to his professor in the first place.

There was a difference between Heathcliff knowing and Callaghan knowing. Callaghan worked here – he was a teacher for most if not all of the students who used the Ishioka Lab. And that meant it might come up, that Callaghan might unknowingly slip it into casual conversation in front of the others. Of course, Callaghan was no great gossip, so it was a slim chance, but it was still a risk. It couldn't hurt to ask for his discretion – How did one swear one's professor to secrecy? “Oh, uh, Professor...” Tadashi began, only to hesitate and wring his hands a little. “About earlier, when you walked in...”

“No need to look so nervous,” Callaghan assured him when his voice trailed off. His eyeroll was almost too quick for Tadashi to catch. “Really, it's hardly the _worst_ thing I've walked in on students doing in the lab.”

Tadashi blinked. “Wait, what.”

“What you get up to in that area is your business,” his professor went on, glancing at him briefly. “Be safe and smart about it, that's all I ask.”

“Oh, uh. Thanks.” Tadashi paused. “It's just, we've only been a thing for a few weeks, and we've kind of been keeping it on the down-low, including from our friends, so, um...”

Luckily, his professor was as quick on the uptake as ever. “Ah. In that case, my lips are sealed.” Callaghan shrugged like it was no big deal, and of course it was no big deal – belatedly, Tadashi realized he'd been silly to think that it would be. “And... well, as always, if you ever need someone to talk to, you won't be a bother.” Tadashi glanced up, surprised. “I was your age once too, Mr. Hamada. I know how important it is to have a sympathetic ear.” His professor adjusted his glasses and nodded to him. “ Go on, now. You looked busy when I walked in – with your project, mind you.” Laughing a little, Tadashi turned to go.

He made his way back down the hall to his lab where Fred and his unfinished project were waiting for him, his heart somewhat lightened.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anything about programming and coding robots.


	8. Gifts

 Cass was having trouble restraining herself.

She would be the first to admit that she could be somewhat... _overenthusiastic_ with her nephews' lives. She had to be – at this point in her life it was doubtful that she would be having children of her own, if one could really dare to say that Hiro and Tadashi were not already “her own.” She had known this would come up, back when she had first taken them in; what caretaker of growing boys didn't silently steel themselves for it? She had done her best when Tadashi had reached girl-chasing age. It helped that he'd been good about it; he hadn't been one to sneak out at night.

Cass knew that for a fact, because at that age, she had. She knew all the tricks, and was quick enough to pick up on the new ones. But no, Tadashi had behaved himself wonderfully. (Hiro might be a different story; he was getting to be that age, too, and wouldn't that be an interesting learning experience for them all?)

But that was in the past. In any case, whether or not he outright admitted it, Tadashi was back at it again – for the first time since high school, no less, at least as far as Cass knew. He seemed awfully nervous about it, and for the life of her, Cass couldn't figure out why. He had always been such an open boy, even as a teenager, but lately he'd taken to being cagey. He avoided questions, and if he could help it, he slipped out when no one was around to catch him at it (not that Hiro would ever stop him).

Which _technically_ didn't count as sneaking out, Cass conceded. He had permission. She knew he was doing it, he knew she knew, and it wasn't like she would have stopped him anyway. He was just going for the path of no resistance. The path of no eager questions from his nosy aunt.

She worried for a while that Hiro might resent his frequent absences, but if anything, her younger nephew seemed even happier with this development. That was a relief – while Cass was glad that Hiro was so attached to his brother, a little independence was good, too.

Finally, one Saturday afternoon toward the end of June, Cass managed to catch him before he made it out the door.

“Oh! Tadashi, sweetie, before you go?” Tadashi halted, immediately trapped. He was such a polite boy – as long as she asked him to wait, the request would keep him in place while she ran to the kitchen. Sure enough, he was still standing near the door with a half-fearful look on his face when she returned with a green plastic tupperware. “Glad I caught you. Here, maybe you can use this.”

“What's...?” Tadashi's voice trailed off as she planked the container into his hands.

“Red velvet brownies. The ones with white chocolate chips in them.” She winked. “Not that I don't think you know what you're doing, but sweets never hurt. Plus I made extra in case you have to butter up any protective parents.”

“Oh!” The confusion on his face turned into a bewildered smile. “Oh, man, I – Thanks, Aunt Cass, you're the best.”

“You know it,” she said with a knowing grin at her nephew. “Knock 'em dead, kiddo. Don't stay out too late, and if you do, call me.”

Tadashi bent to kiss her on the cheek. “I will. I'll see you later.”

She closed the door behind him, beaming to herself. Whoever it was, she couldn't wait to meet them.

* * *

Caroline stopped him at the kiosk again.

To be fair, the bar across the road was what actually stopped him. But Caroline leaning out and hailing him from the window was what kept him there.

“Hey, hun – Tadashi, right?”

Curious, Tadashi gave her a friendly grin and wheeled closer. “That's me. Hello, um... is it all right if I call you Caroline?”

The attendant raised her eyebrows at him. “Bless you, sweetie, your manners ain't just for show, then.” She flapped a hand at him before he could reply. “Caroline's fine, unless you wanna wag your tongue over 'Miss Carter-Hirsch' and waste half the day.”

Tadashi laughed. He liked her – it hadn't taken much convincing, but his opinion was set in stone now. She was charmingly informal, as if she'd decided one day that she was everyone's aunt. “I was just on my way to Fred's,” he said. “Er... obviously. Was there something I could help you with?”

“Could be.” Caroline tilted her head. “Or I could be the one helping you out. Just wanted to talk to you, that's all. Get a couple things straight, 'cause I got a feeling I'm gonna see a lot of you.”

“Um, okay.” Tadashi tried not to fidget, and remembered what Aunt Cass had said about protective parents.

“Here's the thing, punkin, I don't know you.” Caroline shook her head. “Sometimes I fool myself and think I do, 'cause I heard plenty about you from Fred these past few years. But hell, I only just met you last May when I saw you putterin' up to my window givin' that boy a ride home in the middle of the night.” She looked him straight in the eye, her face serious. “For all I know you could be some bum lucky enough to be born with a pretty face.” That stung a little, but Tadashi held his tongue and waited for Caroline to continue. “Or you could be a knight in shining god-dang armor. You might as well be, the way he talks you up sometimes. Thing is, I don't know, and I ain't gonna know 'til I see you more.”

Admitting it was like biting into an old lemon, but she had a point. Reluctantly, Tadashi nodded. “I understand. But I-”

“I hope you do, honey-bunch,” Caroline said dryly. Leaning on the edge of the window, she bent down to his eye level.. “I also hope you understand just what you might expect, if you happen to go and do something silly like break that boy's heart.”

Okay, there was harsh honesty, and then there was just plain insulting him. Tadashi almost spluttered indignantly. “I would never-”

“Hush up a sec,” Caroline said, without raising her voice, but Tadashi felt compelled to hush up. “Fred's a precious child, you understand? Don't be fooled just 'cause his daddy ain't around to watch him. He ain't alone. He's got people who love him. People who'll raise all kinds of hell if he gets hurt.”

“I promise you,” Tadashi said firmly, without breaking eye contact. “I'm one of them.” He wavered for a moment, blinking. “We've been friends for years, and even...” He broke off, stammering a little. “E-even if it doesn't end up working out, the last thing I want to do is hurt him.”

Caroline continued to hold his gaze for a few moments. She was frowning, more of a thoughtful frown than an angry frown, but Tadashi still fidgeted nervously under the scrutiny. Finally, with a small “hm,” she ducked back into the kiosk and emerged with a plastic container covered in foil and held it out. “Here.”

Tadashi took it hesitantly, trying to ignore the deja vu. “Thanks. What is it?”

“Almond roca for Fred. Thought I'd see him and give it to him, but he hasn't been by, and frankly you're my best chance of getting it to him today.”

“Um.”

“This ain't a favor, cupcake,” she told him dryly. “And don't try and convince him they're from you, either – that boy damn well knows what my cooking tastes like.”

A thousand different snappy comebacks crowded their way into Tadashi's brain, but he brushed them aside in favor of a polite smile. “Thank you. I'll be sure he gets them. Miss Carter-Hirsch,” he added.

She rolled her eyes, but Tadashi caught the fleeting grin on her face. “Get goin', Casanova, don't make him wait.”

Tadashi left her two of his aunt's red velvet brownies, and rode through the gate with her hearty laughter in his ears. If one could truly kill with kindness, then Tadashi was determined to arm himself to the teeth.

As always, Heathcliff was there to answer the door. In that stoic, dry, British-butler way of his, he informed Tadashi that Frederick was in his room, and should he inform the young master that he had a gentleman caller? Tadashi had to stare and blink owlishly at him for a moment, wondering whether the man was being serious or was simply subjecting him to dry brand of butler humor. Was that a thing? Butler humor?

He settled for thanking the man, asking for a memory refresher on directions, and tipping him with another brownie. It was a good thing Aunt Cass always made plenty extra.

Walking through the halls of Fred's home brought to mind that movie _Anastasia_ , where the amnesiac Anya wandered in awe through a house whose stairway banisters had more monetary value than all of her organs combined. It was humbling, to say the least. He found himself afraid to touch anything, which was weird, considering that his and Fred's first impression of each other had involved involuntary dumpster diving.

Also, he was comparing himself to a fictional version of a murdered Russian princess, and that was probably a little bit weird, too.

Coming upon Fred's room, he quickly banished the thoughts. The automatic door slid up, reminding Tadashi for the umpteenth time of the starship _Enterprise_. Stepping in, he knocked on whatever the equivalent of a doorjamb was. “Hey.” The door buzzed shut behind him. “I come bearing gifts – oh wow.”

Tadashi had already received the nickel tour of Fred's room, had been personally introduced to each separate figurine, plushie, and life-sized model the place had to offer. (He had laughed himself sick at the painting over the bed until a blushing Fred had hurled novelty pillows at his head.) Still, as packed as the room was with paraphernalia, there was a neatness and a system to it.

Now, however, it was a mess. Of sorts. Much of the floor was covered in... well... _things_. A lot of it was clothing, such as rumpled jackets, folded shirts and pants, and socks and underclothes in unopened packaging. That made up the bulk of it, though if it was organized in any way, Tadashi couldn't tell how. The rest of the mess was a combination of widely different things, from nonperishable food to first aid kits to blankets to what looked like pet toys and several large bags of kitty litter. Beyond that were sheets of paper, sales receipts, and cardboard boxes of varying sizes, most of empty were empty and marked with sharpie.

And yet, in spite of the mess, there were clear paths of clean floor through the clutter, which led from the door and around the room to Fred's bed. Said bed was neatly made but covered in office supplies – envelopes, labels, empty clipboards, and the like. And at the center of the organized chaos was Fred, sitting crosslegged and frowning at back and forth between an account book and a very long receipt. At Tadashi's voice, he looked up, startled.

“Oh, geez, I lost track of time! Hey, Tadpole. Sorry about the mess, uh...” He glanced from side to side. “Yeah my room's kinda unlivable right now, but don't worry, it's just my room like this, we got the whole rest of the house to hang. Just gimme like one sec, sorry.”

“Sure, just...” Tadashi paused. “What exactly is all this?”

“Oh, uh...” For a moment, Fred looked embarrassed. “It's something I get into every time school gets out for me in the summer.” He marked something down in the book and placed the receipt to the side. “I do charity stuff a lot.”

“Really?” Carefully Tadashi picked his way through the mess until he'd reached Fred's side. “What kind of charity stuff?”

“Uh, lots of stuff, I guess.” Fred tossed aside his pen and stood up. “It's nothing, like, fancy or anything.” He waved his hand vaguely. “My mom does things for charity, too, but she handles the socialite crowd. Stuff like organizing charity auctions and fundraisers, black tie events, that kind of deal. Not really my thing.”

“Good for her, but what about you?” Curious, Tadashi lifted the lid on one of the covered boxes, and found it full of children's books written in Spanish.

“Oh, that couple of boxes is for this library in Honduras, they need stuff for their kids section.” Fred crossed his arms, glancing around the mess in his room. “That's sort of a special project, most of this is for shelters. Homeless shelters, animal shelters, that... that kind of thing. R-right now I'm just trying to get everything organized in boxes, and... well, a lot of the clothes are donated but I gotta keep track of everything I pay for out of pocket, and...” He shrugged, looking embarrassed, and for the life of him Tadashi couldn't understand why. “It's just lots of boring stuff, so uh, video games, right?”

“Need some help?” The question slipped out before Tadashi could stop it.

Fred's eyes widened. “Tadashi, no, you don't have to – I mean this is a date and everything, I shouldn't have gotten sucked up in it anyway.”

“Do you not want to?”

“No! I mean... I don't want to pull _you_ into all this, 'cause you've got school and you could probably use a break.” His face was suffused with pink, and Tadashi couldn't help but take comfort in that, in the fact that Fred looked at least as flustered as Tadashi sometimes felt. Also, it was adorable. Did Fred even realize how adorable it was?

“What if I'm interested?” he asked. And he was – forget interested, he was _rapt_. Yet another side to Fred that he had somewhat overlooked. He'd seen Fred dump armloads of jackets into donation bins, he'd seen him hand out twenties and fifties to buskers downtown, but this – this was something different.

“Uh...” For a moment Fred looked uncertainly, glancing from Tadashi's face to the mess in his room and back again. “Well... I mean you don't have to, and I don't want you to feel like you-”

Tadashi tilted his head and grinned at him. He was rewarded when Fred's voice trailed off and the blush deepened. “Fred. C'mon. Let me help. I promise I want to.”

For a moment more Fred dithered a little, before caving. “Okay, if you insist.” With a shrug, he crouched down again. “I warn you, though, right now I'm going through the stuff I'm giving to women's shelters.”

Tadashi lowered himself to sit by him, picking up one of the mile-long receipts to glance over curiously. “I don't see why you need to warn me about – wow, that's a lot of tampons.”

Rolling his eyes, Fred reached over and plucked the slip out of his hand. “Trust me, for like four shelters plus the homeless shelters it's really not.”

“Okay then, I'll take your word for it. So how does your system here work?”

“Not much of a system,” Fred admitted. “I'm just checking receipts, making sure everything's accounted for before I put it all in boxes. Right now my bed's sort of the office crap repository.”

With a glance at the furniture in question, Tadashi cocked his head slightly. “Just out of curiosity, how long has it been like this?”

“Past couple of days,” Fred admitted, sounding sheepish. “I've been procrastinating a little.”

“Past couple of – you have a house this big and you're storing all this in your room?” Tadashi blinked at him in astonishment. “Aren't there loads of other rooms you could use?”

“Oh, well, yeah. I mean, in theory, doing it this way was supposed to push me to get it done faster.” Wincing a little, Fred shrugged. “Instead, I've just been sleeping in weird places the past couple of days. It's like a scavenger hunt.”

Tadashi glanced around at the hopeless mess. “Well, good try, I guess. Maybe we can clear enough of this so you can at least sleep in here again.”

“Hopefully, yeah.” Fred sounded enormously relieved. “Thanks, man. You don't have to do this-”

Tadashi placed his hand briefly over Fred's mouth. “Hush. You know where everything is, right?”

For a few moments after Tadashi took his hand away, Fred could only stare at him and blink slowly. Tadashi would have teased him, but his hand was tingling and distracted him long enough for Fred to find his voice again. “Uh. Oh, well, yeah.”

“Cool.” Tadashi reached for a pile of receipts. “I'll call everything out, you count it, we'll pack it, how's that sound?”

“Like an assembly line.” Fred rubbed his hands together. “Let's do this.”

Tadashi scooted closer to him, at the same time that Fred apparently had the same idea. Before Tadashi knew it, they were sitting pressed together on the floor, close enough that it was more comfortable to link arms than not.

“Um,” Fred said eloquently. “This cool with you?” Pink was spreading from his face to the edges of his ears.

“Yeah.” Tadashi leaned to the side briefly, feeling Fred gradually relax against him. “It's pretty cool.”

They never did get around to video games, but in Tadashi's book, this was just as good. They did, however, go through two plastic containers of almond roca and white chocolate chip red velvet brownies by the time three quarters of the mess in Fred's room was boxed and shoved out into the hall.


	9. Words of Wisdom

By the end of the first week of July, Heathcliff was long accustomed to Frederick's moods.

“Moods,” plural, was an odd way of putting it, with Frederick sitting quite firmly on a cloud of happiness. However, it still varied. Sometimes it manifested on a low level, a slight bounce in his step and a hummed tune. Other times it funneled energy into his gangling limbs, turning an otherwise quiet afternoon into a continuous victory lap throughout the mansion. And of course, there were the moments that Heathcliff or some other unsuspecting member of the staff viewed Frederick in the throes of a quiet but powerful euphoria, sprawled out on some piece of furniture or another, draped on the stairs, or, on at least one notable occasion, fully clothed and dry in an empty bathtub.

Of course, it couldn't last. By the end of another week, Fred's constant ambient joy was making room for more of the nail-biting anxiety from earlier.

It couldn't be helped. Frederick's mind rebelled at stagnation, even perceived stagnation. It wasn't that he entertained himself with difficult intellectual problems, but for a young man who loved to play the lazy, shirking university student, Frederick was loathe to sit still. As long as Heathcliff had ever worked for him, he had seen the young man eager to move, to act, to _do_. When he wasn't, he was thinking about it.

Waiting, whether it was for the release date of some anticipated new media or for progress in a romantic relationship, was Frederick's most hated chore.

Even if, in Heathcliff's humble opinion, there really was no need to fret about it.

“Man, Heathcliff, it's been like a _whole month_ ,” Frederick sighed. He was sitting upside down on the library couch again, as if he thought the answers to all of life's troubles would come to him if he allowed the blood to rush to his head. “It's been _more_ than a month. It's crazy, half the time I'm walking on sunshine and the other half I feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack.”

“As long as you are happy, Master Frederick.” Heathcliff squinted at the bookshelves, going through the motions of checking the work of the new cleaning staff. It wouldn't do to have dust.

“Of course I'm happy! Have you _seen_ me this past month?”

“Indeed. So have a few of the new hires. You gave Miss Orlov quite a fright the other day when she was tidying the bathroom.”

“Whoops,” Fred said quietly.

“No harm done.”

“I keeping worrying, that's all,” Frederick went on. “Even though I'm happy – scratch that, _especially_ 'cause I'm happy. I don't want to screw it up now! And I keep wondering about stuff like, how far along should we be? Should I – or we – be doing more? We hold hands and kiss a little, but... I dunno, everything feels all... egg-shelly. Like we're dancing around stuff sometimes.”

Heathcliff looked up briefly, arching an eyebrow. “From what I understand, you have allowed yourself more honesty with him. That is hardly meaningless.”

“What, you mean about being rich? That happened _before_ I asked him out.”

“Purely by accident. Have you not been more forthright with him since, of your own accord?”

“Well, yeah, but...” Frederick paused, seeming to chew over the idea. “I dunno, Heathcliff, I guess it's just my stupid brain wondering if we weren't the same as friends.”

“I suppose that can't be helped,” Heathcliff conceded. “Worries are worries, after all.” _Goodness knows you worry me every waking moment of the day_. He paused thoughtfully, considering his next words. Household staff weren't normally for meddling in the employer's personal business, but... well, if the young master was _asking_... “Would it be so terrible?”

“Would what be so terrible?”

“For a relationship to be similar to a friendship?” Heathcliff thought for a moment before continuing. “You have read _Wuthering Heights_ , have you not?”

Frederick made a noise as if he'd just licked the underside of a boot. “I had three classes assign it. I know Emily Bronte's one of the greats, but _sheesh_.”

“There you are then,” Heathcliff said dryly. “Such a glorious, sublime romance, lasting past death, proclaiming themselves to be of one soul, one imploring the other's ghost to haunt them forever, but for heaven's sake, did they even find one another's company enjoyable?”

Frederick snickered. “Yeah, they pretty much stopped getting along when they were little kids.” He paused, and Heathcliff saw the thoughtful look on his face again. “So what you're saying is, this doesn't have to be all that different from friendship. Like love, and stuff.”

“I doubt it does, Master Frederick.”

“Huh.”

Heathcliff could practically hear the gears grinding away in Frederick's brain, and glanced back with a slight arch of his brow. “Though, if you're still concerned, I suppose compliments never harmed anyone.” He turned away again, though not before he saw his young charge crack a grin.

* * *

Tuesdays were evil this semester. One of the best things about college was getting to build his own schedule and therefore avoid getting up early as if his life depended on it. It was refreshing to have control over that. But, once in a while, there came a morning class that he could not avoid. And somehow, said unavoidable demon classes always managed to land on Tuesday.

Eight o'clock lectures were the only real evidence that Hell existed, in Tadashi's opinion.

He'd slept poorly the night before. Restlessness had kept him wide awake until 4 AM glowed on the clock by his bedside. It left him headbutting his pillow in frustration until he almost brained himself against the headboard. And maybe that might have been an improvement – unconsciousness counted as sleeping, didn't it?

He woke up feeling wired – if “waking up” was really the word for it. He wasn't sure he really woke up, because he wasn't sure he'd actually fallen asleep at any point. The initial buzz of energy had been a false promise, and sleep deprivation caught up with him soon after he arrived on campus.

A half an hour into the lecture, Tadashi slumped over his seat's tiny desk surface feeling like death warmed over. He should have skipped – Professor Han recorded her lectures as podcasts and he probably could have afforded to miss a participation point or two. But no, he was here, with his pencil hovering over his notebook, noting down whatever he could retain long enough between hearing it and writing it. If he were to judge, about twenty percent of his brain was actually paying attention. Fifty percent was a useless, nonfunctional fog. The remaining thirty percent was sluggishly poking through his mental schedule.

This class was an hour and twenty minutes long. His next class today wouldn't start until around two. It took about a fifteen minutes to get from home to SFIT. That left about four hours and ten minutes for him to go back to bed once he got back home. Barring any horrific accidents, of course.

And with his mind filled with fog and rainclouds, he wasn't sure how unlikely a horrific accident might be.

He kind of missed sharing Tuesday morning hell with Gogo, but that was a relic of last term. He had to brave this on his own.

His phone buzzed silently in his pocket, jarring his exhausted brain and forcing a startled gasp out of him. Luckily, he had picked a seat toward the back of the lecture hall, so even if some of the people sitting nearby noticed, Professor Han went on with her lecture heedless.

Tadashi slipped his phone out of his pocket and drowsily checked it. He actually had three outstanding messages waiting for him. Honey had sent him a photo of a small bumblebee that had landed on the toe of her shoe. At some point during the night, Hiro had sent him a text (“ _If you really think about it, you exist within a living bone prison. You are a brain_.”) That one made him put his phone down and blink hard for a minute. The third was the most recent, a text from Fred.

“ _ I would like to play a game _ .”

Tadashi glanced up. There was no way Han was going to notice him – at least ten percent of the people in this lecture hall were on their phones, anyway. With a mental shrug, he picked up his phone to text back.

“ _ What are you doing up? _ ” he asked.

“ _I'm gonna have to get up at 6 in a couple days,_ ” Fred told him. Tadashi slipped in a “:O” emoticon before Fred finished typing out the next message. “ _I am browbeating my sleep schedule into submission so help me I will be cheerful before sunrise._ ”

Tadashi blinked slowly, the way Mochi did when he was half asleep, and felt the smile spread across his face of its own accord. “ _Fair enough. What kind of game?_ ”

“ _The kind of game where Tadashi Hamada is not a morning person and needs a pick me up_ .”

Maybe it was the sleepiness talking, or the desperation to think of something besides notes, or the fact that Professor Han managed to make her subject even more boring than it was on its own, but at that moment, reading Fred's messages was like drinking hot chocolate. The warmth just spread through him.

“ _Also do you have earbuds or something because it requires sound_ ”

Tadashi suppressed a sigh. He was liking this conversation far more than the lecture, but he did have his limits. “ _I'm in class Fred_ .”

“ _It's like 25 seconds but never mind, it's cool_ .”

He might have left it at that, but curiosity got the better of him. “ _Okay what is it?_ ”

“ _The game is volume 3 question 3 of the Human Test, yea or nay?_ ”

Tadashi stared at the screen, scanning the message several times to make sure he wasn't misreading it. Finally, giving up, he texted back “ _The what now_ ” and waited for Fred to explain himself.

No answer, unless “:D” counted as an answer.

Rolling his eyes, Tadashi did a quick Google search. “Human test volume 3” brought him to a Youtube video, and he fished his bunched-up earbuds out of his pocket. He only put one in, just to avoid missing if Han said something important while he was distracted. Twenty-five seconds, Fred had said. It was a three-minute video. But then, he only had to listen to it as far as the third question, didn't he?

Tadashi did so. The first two questions made him grin, and then-

“ _Have you ever marveled at how someone you thought was ordinary could suddenly become so beautiful?_ ”

He closed the video, pulled out the earbud, and buried his face in his arms to hide the uncontrollable, idiotic smile on his face. If it weren't for the fact that he was in the middle of a crowded lecture hall, he would have gotten up to do victory laps around the vicinity. As it was, he allowed himself a faint “ _Eeee_ ” noise that he muffled in his sleeve.

His phone vibrated in his hand.

“ _My answer's yes btw._ ” Fred informed him.

What could he possibly say to that? How as he supposed to follow that up? He wracked his brain for a moment, and finally typed in his answer.

“ _I'm staring at my phone smiling like an idiot._ ”

“ _Mission accomplished_ .”

Tadashi wrinkled his nose slightly. Fred wasn't the only one who could throw compliments around. “ _You're adorable._ ”

“ _Aw, thanks Tadpole_ .”

“ _See you tonight Freddy_ .”

The reply was a mishmash of random letters, and Tadashi finally put his phone away, satisfied. More than satisfied, really – the word hardly began to cover it.

It came upon him without a hint or a warning. People talked about epiphanies hitting like a ton of bricks or a punch to the face, and now, in the middle of a lecture, about two hours before he would have woken up comfortably, Tadashi could sort of understand the comparisons. He sat up wide-eyed, staring off into the middle distance with a faintly dazed expression.

They were a little over a month in, and Tadashi had never quite shaken off those sinking feelings that plagued him whenever he let his mind run away with him. Things like wondering in the back of his mind if he kissed Fred because it meant something, or if he was kissing Fred because he wasn't sure if it meant something. Or wondering if these feelings for Fred really were just warm friendship after all, strong and comfortable but still platonic.

But now... well,  _no_ . No, that wasn't the case at all.

Something locked into place, settling his mind with a wonderful sense of certainty, of  _knowing_ . It was equal parts soothing and energizing, and for a moment Tadashi was torn between slumping over his seat's tiny desk in a contented heap, and running outside to do cartwheels around the building.

The dopy smile never left his face, of course. But in a crowded lecture hall with most people paying attention and the rest absorbed in their phones, who was going to notice or mind?

* * *

“Anything planned for today, kiddo?” At the sound of Tadashi's tone, Hiro ducked instinctively. Tadashi was feeling cheerful, and a cheerful Tadashi was a touchy-feely Tadashi. It was to no avail – his older brother's hand descended, ruffling his hair into an even worse mess than before. Hiro expected that, but he did not expect the hug that went with it. He groaned melodramatically until Tadashi let go, and shot his brother a strange look. Tadashi was in an awfully good mood after coming home from his morning class. That was definitely a good sign.

“Same thing I do every day, Tadashi,” he said dryly. “Try to take over the world.”

Tadashi snorted. “Hey, c'mon, I'm serious.”

“Yeah, what else is new?”

His brother let out a groan, but it sounded forced like Tadashi was trying too hard to make himself be serious. “You're fourteen you graduated high school already,” Tadashi reminded him for the umpteenth time. “I just don't want you to get, y'know, bored.”

“I was bored in high school,” Hiro pointed out.

“All right, fair point, smart guy.” Even without looking at him, Hiro could hear the eyeroll. “I still say you should try for college. SFIT's awesome.”

“Oh please,” Hiro snorted. “I just got out of school last year, bro, and I'm not exactly falling all over myself to go back.”

“Have it your way,” Tadashi sighed again, in a way that told Hiro the conversation still wasn't over, but Tadashi was in too much of a good mood to spoil it by continuing it now. “I'm off to class. I'll be out kinda late. Don't break the cafe again.”

“Kay.”

Hiro waited until Tadashi's footsteps had faded down the steps before he let himself grin from ear to ear. His brother was going to be out late again – meaning another date. And that meant he had an opening.

Of course he hadn't just been sitting around bored to tears all day since graduating. He'd been plenty busy. He'd had work to do, research to do, practice to do.

He was ready now. After months of preparing, he was ready. And with Tadashi out of the house and Aunt Cass busy as always, tonight was the perfect opportunity.

Kicking at the floor, he rolled his swivel chair over to one of his desk drawers and pulled it open. Shifting aside a few strategically-placed notebooks, he grinned down at the smiling neon-yellow face of his completed masterpiece.

“Get ready, Megabot,” he murmured. “We're gonna be great, you and me.”

It was just a matter of waiting until dark.

* * *

The euphoria lasted for a couple of hours, carrying Tadashi through class with a light heart, until it quite suddenly transformed into something approaching panic. It lasted through one class and then the next, manifesting as a low-level feeling of terror that persisted until he could barely pretend to be fully engaged when Callaghan was talking to him.

There was something terrifying in being so happy, especially when other people were involved. With it came the sudden threat of losing it, the realization that if he wasn't careful, he could ruin it without even meaning to. It was a bit like suddenly finding himself holding a Faberge egg. It was lovely to have it, but at the same time _I really should not be holding this who on earth trusted me with this–_

“Emotional trials, Mr. Hamada?”

“Um. What?” Tadashi blinked owlishly. His professor was raising an eyebrow at him. He tried not to wince in embarrassment – was he really that obvious? “Sorry, it's nothing. Just something on my mind, it's not important.” He paused – that was a lie. “Well, relevant.”

“Obviously, whatever's bothering you is preventing you from focusing. Out of curiosity, what is it?”

“I just...” One look at his professor's earnest, understanding face, and Tadashi mentally shrugged and let it tumble out. “...today I realized that I'm extremely happy in the relationship I'm in and if I'm not careful I could slip up without meaning to and have it blow up in my face and I could lose a really good thing.” His voice trailed off. “Or something... what?” Callaghan was hiding a smile, shaking his head, and Tadashi expelled his exasperation in a huff of breath. “What's so funny?”

“It's not funny, I promise,” Callaghan assured him. “It's just – I haven't seen you this anxious since your project set off the fire alarm.”

This time Tadashi did wince. “I'm pretty sure I'm hiding it better than I did then.”

“Don't worry, you are. But I have two working eyes and decades of experience teaching college students.” Whatever Callaghan said about it not being funny, that look on his face sure looked like amusement. “Call it skill or intuition, but I know worry when I see it.”

Shrugging, Tadashi looked away sheepishly. “I worry when it's important to me. Like every other human being on the planet.”

“You feel out of your depth.” Callaghan didn't phrase it like a question – he called out observations like he was throwing darts at a board. He had good aim, too. “Forgive me if I pry, but is this new territory for you?”

Tadashi shrugged again. “Sort of? I mean, I’ve dated before, but never with someone I was already really close to.” He breathed out after the words left his mouth. There was a weird kind of relief in finally admitting that to someone out loud. “It feels like there’s so much more of a risk now.”

“Hm.” The noise was noncommittal. When Tadashi looked up again, Callaghan seemed thoughtful as he shrugged. “If you stay together, then you stay together,” his professor told him gently. “If you don’t, and you decide it would be better to remain friends, then you remain friends. I don’t think you lose anything, either way.”

“But what if I mess up?” he blurted. Callaghan blinked, and Tadashi ducked his head in embarrassment. “I could lose afriend _and_ a boyfriend.” The word was out before he even registered it on his tongue. It slipped out so easily, so naturally, that it left Tadashi blinking in surprise at himself. He'd never said it before, or heard Fred say it, and apparently neither of them had ever thought to mention it. _We've been together a month now_ , he thought. _Maybe it's time_.  He almost forgot that Callaghan was still there before his professor spoke up again.

“I think it’d have to be a pretty impressive mess, to convince Mr. Whitmore you aren’t worthy of either.” He said it matter-of-factly, as if it were the simplest thing in the world, and Tadashi couldn't help but think, maybe it was. “You want my advice, Mr. Hamada?” Tadashi nodded. “You trust him, don't you?”

“Of course.”

“Then act like it,” Callaghan told him gently. “If you're feeling unsure or insecure, then for heaven's sake talk to him. Figure out what needs figuring out.”

“...Well when you put it like that, it's obvious.”

“Most things are, if you take the time to stop and think about them.” Callaghan grinned. “Though, I suppose a neutral perspective never hurt. Feeling better?”

“I think so, yeah.” Tadashi managed a smile again. “Thanks, Professor.”

“Some things don't need to be over-analyzed, Mr. Hamada.” He paused. “Your schoolwork is not one of them, by the way.”

The topic returned to Tadashi's academic work without interruptions this time.

 


	10. Crisis Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter probably counts as sfw but it gets a little steamy toward the end.

Tadashi left his last class of the evening in a hurry, feeling giddy with excitement. With renewed eagerness he hopped on his moped and pointed himself in the direction of Fred's house. There were a million different things he wanted to say to him at the moment, not the least of which was _We're boyfriends, right? Why don't we start using that word now?_ And that was only if he could manage to keep from kissing Fred long enough to say that.

It was dark out already, dark enough to be chilly even in July, and that only made him more brisk and jittery than he already had been. No nervousness this time, though – he was excited. Sort of a “first day of the rest of your life” kind of feeling. Gripping the handlebars, Tadashi let off some excess energy with a shudder. He skirted the deeper downtown area along the way, impatient to get there as quickly as possible.

Something vibrated in his jacket pocket, and his good mood vanished. His phone was in his bag, not his pocket. With a quiet, wordless mutter of annoyance, and he pulled over on the side of the street. Parked under a street lamp, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his GPS tracker.

He had programmed the device to notify him when it was within a certain range of the tracker chips in Hiro's jacket – he must have left it on at some point and forgotten about it. But he was nowhere near the cafe. Why was it pinging Hiro now?

Tadashi glanced around, feeling cold dread slowly seep under his skin. This was not the nicest part of town at the best of times, and it was past dark by now. What would Hiro be doing out here at this hour?

It was entirely possible that Hiro had found one of the chips, Tadashi reasoned. It was entirely possible that Hiro had removed it from his jacket and attached it to a stray cat or wind-up mouse or something. That was exactly the kind of thing he would do.

This could be absolutely nothing.

Grumbling under his breath, Tadashi gunned the motor on his moped, swerved the handlebars, and U-turned to ride off on the trail of the marker blinking on the screen.

It's probably nothing, he told himself. What could Hiro be doing here, of all places, in the bad part of town, this late in the evening? Really, he should give it up. If he wasn't careful, he was going to get himself mugged over a faulty GPS.

Tadashi shuddered involuntarily. He was close to the tracker chip – it wouldn't have buzzed him if he hadn't been in the first place. It led him to the opening to an alleyway. Squinting into the darkness, he could make out a light source close to the other end and around the corner. The shadows of many people moved across it, and he could hear voices shouting and laughing. He killed the engine and parked it in the dark. He'd be in and out – hopefully, fast enough to avoid getting his moped stolen. Quietly, with his shoulders drawn in, he stole down the alley and rounded the corner.

He could almost _feel_ his hair turning gray at the sight before him.

He had stumbled upon a back-alley botfight. There was a crowd of people gathered, all adults, none of them younger than college age. Many were carrying fighting bots, vicious cobbled-together things that bristled with razor blades, bludgeons, and circular saws. Money was changing hands, many were grumbling, and right in the middle of them was Hiro, scrambling up from the dirty asphalt of the chalked-out arena with a bot tucked under his arm and another botfighter towering over him with a sour look on his face and no _no nonono_ –

Without thinking he shoved his way through the spectators, ignoring the indignant snapping as he strained to hear what was going on.

“-fair and square,” he heard his brother say, craning his neck to look up at the man's face. “Look, _you_ said you wanted to fight, you could've just-”

Tadashi's hand closed on his upper arm, and Hiro actually jumped, whipping around to look up at him. “ _What do you think you're doing?_ ” Tadashi hissed.

For a moment Hiro stared at him, dumbfounded, before apparently recovering himself and pasting a wide, strained grin on his face. “Tadashi! Hey, I was just about to, uh, text you and-”

Tadashi didn't wait around for him to finish. “We're leaving,” he said shortly, and began towing him back the way he had come. Laughter broke out among the crowd, but Tadashi shut his ears to it.

“Hey!” Hiro protested, trying to yank his arm back. “C'mon, let go, I was just-”

Tadashi stopped, whipped around to look Hiro straight in the eye, and repeated, “We're. Leaving.” His fingers tightened around Hiro's arm, and his little brother held his gaze with a glare for a few seconds before averting his eyes. Trying not to shake, Tadashi continued pulling his brother away from the botfighters until the lights and voices were behind them. Hiro pulled back, but he continued to stumble along behind him – he was only putting up a token fight at this point.

The moped was still there – small mercies. Tadashi pushed Hiro toward it roughly with a terse “Get on.” Hiro shot him a venomous look but did as he was told, clutching the small robot in his arms as if he thought Tadashi might take it. Something powerful like panic or temper rose up within Tadashi, and he looked away, mounted the moped, and started the engine.

He rode home in silence, his jaw aching from clenching for so long. Behind him Hiro sat in sullen silence, and that was fine by him. He doubted that he could have managed a conversation in his current mental state. It was taking all of his concentration just to stay focused on the road. Every few minutes the leftover fear would rise again and his grip on the handlebars would tighten. The image of Hiro surrounded by botfighters and gamblers, looking extra tiny among them, rose up and threatened to drive him into a panic.

If Hiro hadn't given him the silent treatment all the way home, Tadashi wasn't sure that he could have avoided crashing into something.

As they pulled up in front of the cafe, Hiro barely waited for the moped to stop moving before hopping off. Tadashi killed the engine and dismounted just in time to catch his brother's arm before he could run inside. Hiro opened his mouth to protest.

“Don't,” Tadashi gritted out through clenched teeth. “Just don't. Keep quiet until we're upstairs.”

With Hiro's arm still in his grip, Tadashi hauled his brother inside, giving the back entrance to the cafe front a wide berth. Aunt Cass was still out there, busying herself by tending to nighttime customers. Hopefully, he wouldn't need to involve her.

It wasn't until they were safe upstairs in their room that Tadashi finally released his death grip on Hiro. But before he could get a word out, Hiro yanked his arm away and rounded on him.

“Really?' he spat. “You couldn't have waited ten minutes?”

Tadashi froze, momentarily struck speechless by Hiro's anger. “...Excuse me?”

“I _won_ , Tadashi,” Hiro snapped. “I would've taken home the pot if you hadn't dragged me off first!” With a growl of anger, he ran his hand through his hair. “Next time will you _listen_ to me before you get your panties in a knot and-”

“ _What were you thinking?_ ”

Silence fell, leaving Tadashi clenching his fists to try to stop them shaking. When was the last time he had raised his voice at Hiro? It hadn't helped the knot of fear in his chest, not by a long shot.

He forced words out, clenching his teeth to hold back the stuttering, trying to expel the knot by explaining it away. “You were out there, in a dark alley in the middle of downtown, _alone_ , surrounded by-” His breath hitched, and he broke off to get his voice under control again.

“I was _fine_ ,” Hiro said.

“You were not fine,” Tadashi snapped. “You were alone. You could've been hurt.”

“I'd just won!”

“And what if they decided they didn't want to give you their money?” Tadashi demanded. “People like that don't just fork over cash to thirteen-year-olds!”

“I'm _fourteen_!”

Tadashi's voice dripped sarcasm. “Yeah, practically an adult already.” He broke off, almost breathless with anger. “They could have hurt you!”

Hiro looked away to scowl at the floor. “That wouldn't have happened,” he muttered.

He was closing off – Tadashi could see it clear as day, and it frightened him almost as much as seeing Hiro in that alley had. “Do you think you're on the playground again?” he demanded. “Do you think they'll just swat you around, give you a swirly, and call it a day? You can't just mess with people like that!”

Hiro's head whipped up again, and he hit Tadashi with another furious glare. “Says who?!” he yelled. “I'm smarter than all of them put together, and you're right! This isn't the playground anymore, so I don't need you butting in to save me all the time!”

There was a split second in which Tadashi's mind went blank.

“Look, just go back to college and studying and dating or whatever, okay?” Hiro went on waspishly. “That's _your_ thing. Now let me have mine.” Turning his back, he tossed his fighting bot on his bed. “You can leave me alone now,” he spat over his shoulder. “There aren't any more fights tonight and there's no way I'm going back there after that, so I'm not going out again.”

Tadashi shook, but he found his voice again. “Give me one good reason why I should believe you.”

Hiro's shoulders tensed, but he didn't turn around. “What do you want me to do, swear on my mother's grave?”

For a moment more, Tadashi stood in their room and stared at his brother's back.

He turned around and left the room.

Downstairs, he paused in the middle of the living room and cast a glance toward the front door. It wasn't too late, he reasoned. He was already a half hour late, but he could still go.

Except no, he couldn't. Not like this. Not so soon. Right now, his head was in entirely the wrong place, and there was no way he was going to bike across town just to drag Fred down too. First he would calm down. He would sleep on it. He would talk to Hiro again – calmly, after they had both spent some time to themselves. He would...

He would call Fred and apologize, before he did anything else.

* * *

Fred lost count of how many times he picked up his phone and put it down throughout the day.

Something had happened the previous night – he knew that much. That was pretty much all Tadashi had told him – “ _I'm really sorry. Something came up. I promise I'll explain later, I just need to get my head together._ ” And that had been that. He wasn't upset, or hurt, really. Sometimes things came up – it had been that way when they were friends, and reasonably that meant it was going to be that way now, too.

But knowing that didn't stop him from wondering, or worrying himself to a distraction over what had made Tadashi sound so upset.

Around four his phone chimed and spooked him right out of his chair. He tumbled to the floor in a flailing heap, recovered himself, and scrambled back up to snatch it off his desk. One new text message was waiting for him, from Tadashi.

“ _Can I come over?_ ”

It took all of his self control not to all-caps YES back at him fifty times in a row. Reining himself in, he answered, “ _You okay?_ ”

There was a pause. It was a very long pause, too long for Fred to chalk it up to just typing when Tadashi finally answered, “ _No._ ”

Worry gnawed at him. “ _What happened? What's the matter?_ ”

“ _I just need to not be at home right now_.” Another pause, but before Fred could finish dithering and half-panicking over what to say, another message came. “ _I want to see you_.”

A strange fluttery feeling mingled with the worry. His thumbs hovered over the keypad, and he worried at his bottom lip with his front teeth. Finally, not knowing what else to say, he answered, “ _Be safe, don't text and drive._ ”

“ _I'll be there in twenty_.”

It was the longest twenty Fred could ever remember experiencing. He must have paced the first and second floor hallways two dozen times before he heard the doorbell. Heathcliff, as perceptive as ever, hung back and conceded the job of answering it to Fred, who flung the door open to find Tadashi standing outside with no jacket and a hangdog look on his face.

“Sorry I was late,” was the first thing out of Tadashi's mouth. “And... I don't even know if I can call this taking a rain check because this is not how I wanted this to go when I started out yesterday, but some stuff went down and I just need to talk to someone before I have a nervous breakdown. Sorry, I just-”

Fred cut him off with a hug, some small part of him expecting Tadashi to resist or at least stand still and take it, but he was surprised when Tadashi returned it forcefully. Pressed as closely as he was, Fred could feel him shaking. “Dude, what happened?” he blurted.

“Long story.” Tadashi's voice was muffled, his face pressed to Fred's shoulder. “I'm pretty much done freaking out, but it comes in little aftershocks, too.” There was another unspoken “sorry” in there somewhere.

Fred pulled him inside, switching from hugging him to holding him firmly around the shoulders with one arm. Behind them, Heathcliff slipped in wordlessly to handle getting the door closed and locked. _Good ol' Heathcliff_.

With Tadashi looking this downtrodden, Fred didn't particularly feel like dragging him up and down the stairs. The living room (“parlor”, Mom insisted on calling it) was closer, kinda cozy, empty, and he could shut the door for privacy. They sat down next to each other on the couch, Tadashi sighing tiredly. He looked like he hadn't slept much.

“So what's going on?” Fred asked again.

Tadashi leaned his head back against the sofa. “Long story short, I found my brother at a back-alley botfight, dragged him home, we had words and he's mad at me now.”

For a moment Fred could only gape at him. “Um...”

“He apologized today, but he hasn't looked at me since.” Tadashi went on. His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “A couple of times in the past I thought I was maybe being a little over-paranoid when I sewed GPS trackers into his jacket, but last night taught me that no. No, it was just just the right amount of paranoia.” He covered his face with both hands, massaging his forehead with his palms. “He graduated high school just last year and now he's botfighting and I'm pretty sure this makes me a failure as a brother.”

“It doesn't-”

“You don't know that.” Another moment, and Tadashi let his arms fall to his sides again. Not knowing what else to do, Fred slipped his hand into Tadashi's and gave a gentle squeeze. Tadashi clasped his hand back. “Maybe I'm not. I don't know. I just need to vent. I need to tell _someone_ about it.” Tadashi paused, still staring vaguely upward. When Fred looked closer, he felt his chest clench. Tadashi's bottom lip was between his teeth, his face forced straight, but there were tears pooling in his upturned eyes. He blinked, and a few of them spilled. “I didn't even tell my aunt. I should tell her. I should let her know this is going on, but at the same time I don't _want_ to because I don't want to get him in trouble.” His voice cracked. “It's like half of me is trying to be his brother and the other half is trying to be his dad and everything just feels wrong.”

Wordlessly, Fred let go of his hand, leaned over, and slid his arm around Tadashi's shoulders, carefully pulling him into another hug. He felt Tadashi's forehead against the crook of his neck, and the dampness against his shoulder as tears soaked into his shirt.

“I got scared,” Tadashi admitted, almost too quietly to hear. “A little mad, too. That's why I didn't come last night, I wasn't in a good place.”

Turning his head, Fred pressed a kiss to his temple and ran his fingers through Tadashi's hair. A sigh ghosted past his ear, and he felt Tadashi nuzzle into the side of his neck. His heart did a funny little floppy thing in his chest, and he curled around Tadashi until he heard him sigh again.

“You got him out, didn't you?” Fred pointed out quietly. Tadashi mumbled something that he couldn't quite catch.

They stayed like that for a while, just sitting together and enjoying the feel of each other. Tadashi was the first to break the silence. “Also-” He hesitated. “That, uh, conversation we had, yesterday morning. I wanted to tell you last night, but... I feel like for a while now we've been, I dunno, careful? Like neither of us have been completely sure of ourselves. But I'm sure now.” Fred's breath caught, and Tadashi sat up again so that they could see eye to eye. “You and me, being together. This feels right. Kissing you feels right.” He paused, reddening. “But I also need you to know that if something like this happens, it's probably – no, it's definitely gonna take precedence.

“So what I'm trying to say is, I mean... I care about you and I want to be with you and sometimes you say stuff that makes me feel like vomiting rainbows, but... Hiro comes first. I'll try and be better about giving you a heads-up when I have an emergency, but he comes first. Always. I just need you to know that.”

Fred's brain promptly pulled him in several different directions. One part screamed “Tell him you love him,” another considered cracking a joke, and several were for pulling Tadashi in again and kissing the daylights out of him. In the end all he could do was dither before finding his voice again. “That's cool. I mean I kind of already knew that?” His tone rose at the end into a question. “I'm an only, obviously, so I don't really know how that goes, but... I'm fine with that. There're things that are important to me, too, so... yeah.”

“Good,” Tadashi replied. “And thanks. For listening. And for understanding.”

Fred's teeth met around his lip. The cautiousness of the previous month welled up again, but he shoved it back and ignored it. Tadashi's face felt warm in his hand as he scooted closer, leaned in, and pressed the full of his mouth against Tadashi's. Tadashi relaxed into it and Fred deepened the kiss, flicking his tongue between Tadashi's parted lips.

He felt Tadashi tense and shudder, and he wondered if he'd gone too far. Before he could lose his nerve, Tadashi was already placing a hand on Fred's waist and kissing back.

A shiver of excitement ran through Fred, and he felt heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. Tadashi sighed into his mouth, turning his thoughts to fog. Fred pressed against him, tucking his thumbs under the hem of Tadashi's shirt to trace small circles on his bare skin, before Tadashi shifted in his seat and maneuvered Fred into his lap.

_Holy shit, this is happening,_ but coherent thoughts fled from him as he straddled Tadashi's lap with his knees. He pulled back, to breathe or speak, he couldn't remember when his eyes flickered open and he took in Tadashi's face. Cheeks flushed, lips red and swollen, eyelids half-closed, Tadashi seemed to catch his breath. Fred took a moment to revel in the feel of Tadashi's hands at the small of his back, Tadashi's eyelashes fluttering an inch from his own, Tadashi's breath ghosting over his cheek.

The breaths turned to soft laughter, and the sound went right to his gut. Fred leaned in again, passing Tadashi's pursed lips to nip at his jaw and press his mouth to the side of his throat. Tadashi gasped and shivered, falling to the side and catching himself with one hand as Fred kissed and nipped. He turned his head, allowing Fred better access to the sensitive skin. Fred latched his mouth over the side of his neck, just beneath the corner of his jaw, and swirled his tongue until he heard Tadashi breathe his name. He could feel Tadashi's pulse quickening against his mouth. His teeth scraped against skin, and Tadashi's hips twitched beneath him.

Excitement drove him forward with a little roll of his hips, and he felt Tadashi's hand grasp a fistful of his shirt and pull. Before he knew what was happening, Tadashi was lying back and pulling Fred down on top of him. Fred barely caught himself with his hands, one on either side of Tadashi's face, and his mind cleared just enough for him to get his bearings.

Fred's breath caught. Tadashi was staring up at him, brown eyes glinting and eager, his face and neck red, hands curled in the front of Fred's shirt, ready to pull him down again. It was everything that, barely over a month before, he had never dared to hope for. With a laugh, he let himself collapse on top of Tadashi, their mouths meeting in a half-eager, half-desperate kiss. He could feel Tadashi's hands everywhere – gripping handfuls of his shirt to keep him close, then cupping his face, then running along his shoulders and down his back, feeling him like he was reading Braille. Fred left off ravishing his mouth to return his lips and his tongue to Tadashi's neck. At Tadashi's moan, he nudged his knee between Tadashi's legs, pressing against the bulge in his jeans, and rolled his hips downward. Tadashi gasped harshly, and Fred nipped his jaw again.

Joy half-blinded him, and with every kiss he reminded himself that this was Tadashi he was with, Tadashi in a black V-neck that exposed his throat and his collarbone, writhing and moaning beautifully beneath him. It was everything he had been longing for, Tadashi's heartbeat beneath his lips, Tadashi's hands sliding under his shirt, fingers counting over his ribs until they brushed over sensitive nipples.

Fred gave a choked gasp inches from Tadashi's ear. “Do that again,” he whispered, and Tadashi repeated the motion with such enthusiasm that Fred whined into the crook of his neck. His hands went to the hem of Tadashi's shirt, pulling it up as Tadashi arched his back to let him. The fabric bunched beneath his arms, and Fred bent down to close his lips around Tadashi's nipple and swirl his tongue around it. Tadashi grunted, bucking his hips upward, and Fred felt one of the hands on his chest move to tangle in his hair.

There was a knock at the door.

Fred lovingly constructed a vivid mental image of throwing something heavy, expensive, and breakable at it.

“My deepest apologies, suh,” came Heathcliff's muffled voice. “A call from your mother. She will be arriving briefly in twenty minutes."

Fred lifted his head, freeing up his mouth just long enough to say “God fucking damn it.”

Beneath him, Tadashi burst out snickering. Fred pushed himself back up to his hands and knees, about to get up, but he looked down and saw Tadashi and  _wow_ , he could get used to seeing him like that – red-faced, lips parted and swollen, hair mussed, shirt hiked up so Fred could see his entire chest, all the way down to the jeans hanging low on his waist.

Words came out of his mouth before his brain could register them. “ _God_ , you are so hot.”

Tadashi grinned up at him. “You're not so bad yourself.”

Laughing, Fred let himself flop down on top of him again, shifting to let Tadashi pull his shirt back down. “So. Bad timing.”

“Could've been better.”

Fred turned his face and tilted it so Tadashi could see him grinning. “Better luck next time?”

Tadashi's eyes lit up. “Next time? I like the sound of that.”

“Thought you would.” He paused. “Feeling better?”

“I... think so. Yeah.” Tadashi's arms snaked around his back, pulling him close again, and Fred complied happily. “Thanks.”

“Eh, what're boyfriends for?” He grinned. The word felt good in his mouth. Fred scooted closer, feeling Tadashi's erection against his thigh. “In the meantime, we have fifteen minutes, so...” He hooked a finger in the flap of Tadashi's jeans. “Need some help with that?”

Tadashi's eyes widened slightly, and a moment later he grinned. “Please do.”

* * *

When Tadashi left in high spirits, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling over to the side of the road, he pulled it out to check it. Had he forgotten something at Fred's, or...?

One new text message from Hiro Hamada.

He tried to ignore the feeling of dread that came over him. A moment's hesitation later, he bit the bullet and checked it.

“ _ So if most storebought eggs are unfertilized because of health standards, we eat chicken periods for breakfast. How about that. _ ”

For a moment Tadashi stared at the message, reading it several times, before lowering his phone and bursting out laughing.

 


	11. Getting Comfortable

Gogo was not imagining things. She did not just imagine things like this. She imagined improvements for her bike, ideas for her school projects, and new tricks to pull that might get her hauled in front of Student Judicial Affairs if they went wrong or she didn't plan them right. But she did not just “imagine” Fred and Tadashi mooning over each other like newlyweds. She did not. Did Sherlock Holmes imagine clues when he solved murders? No. He noticed things. And Gogo was noticing things, too.

Just little things. Like the two of them holding hands under the table when they thought no one was looking. Or like Fred draping himself over Tadashi with, if it was possible, even more enthusiasm than before this whole mess had started back at the end of May. Or like the two idiots throwing compliments at each other that bordered on flirting. Or like Tadashi being _very_ interested in watching Fred leave the room (she had to duck behind her bike to hide her sudden fit of snickering).

It was a bit of a relief for her, seeing that. It definitely beat all the mincing and awkwardness of the previous month. She had to wonder how the others hadn't noticed it yet. If the chemistry got any more obvious, Honey could strap on a pair of goggles and write a thesis on it.

She almost backed out when the two of them decided to step out at lunch, only to invite the rest of them along. It was a bit jarring, because she forgot sometimes that they weren't openly dating and yes, they would still be interested in hanging out with friends.

Still, the last thing she wanted to do was third-wheel them. That wouldn't be cool of her. But Wasabi switching off his lasers and obliviously tagging along smoothed the way for her, so she set aside her tools and went along. Besides – this she _had_ to see.

It didn't take her long to regret it.

It wasn't that they openly fawned over each other, or that she _felt_ like a third wheel. No, especially with Wasabi present to balance things out, hanging out with them was pretty much the same as it had ever been. They talked, they joked, the schmoozed, they ate food, they argued about the application of scientific principles, and it was all good times to be had.

Or it would have been, but Gogo was sitting in just the right place to feel them play footsy under the table. They must have mistaken her leg for part of the table, and they were sitting in a booth, so it was hard to see under there. Wasabi was not having this problem, and she knew this because Wasabi complained about _everything_.

Interesting dilemma, she mused. If she moved her leg away, they would probably realize they had been nudging her for the past couple of minutes. Outwardly she sipped her drink and didn't react, but she wondered if it would be politer to let them be, or to quietly inform them that their dumb romantic antics were being noticed.

In the end, she decided “screw politeness” because privately it was more amusing this way. Then Wasabi went up to the cash register and Gogo ran to the bathroom and when she came back, she glanced across the restaurant and saw Tadashi sneak a kiss to the bridge of Fred's nose. She averted her eyes quickly, shaking her head with a grin.

These cute fucks were going to be the death of her.

* * *

If there was one thing Tadashi had learned from growing up with Hiro, it was that they always bounced back from fights. It was impossible for him to stay mad at Hiro, and if he had anything to say about it, then it was hard for Hiro to stay mad at him, too. No matter how angrily they fought, it never took long for them to right things again. The argument over Hiro's botfighting adventure was no exception.

On the other hand, Hiro's apology, while sincere, in no way meant that he was planning to stop. Periodically over the next few weeks of July, Tadashi's evening schedule would get a little... weird.

Tadashi bit back a yell as he ramped his moped over several trash cans. He ramped a moped. A damn _moped_. He could almost hear Gogo's disapproving voice in his ear. Mopeds were not cool, they were lame, and who was dumb enough to ramp a moped? He was, apparently.

Most of their pursuers were on foot, luckily, and with his winding route through the alleyways there was little chance of any of them catching them in a car. On the seat behind him, Hiro clung to him and kept an eye on their backs.

“I think we're good for now,” he called, but Tadashi didn't hear him. For one thing he already knew that, and for another he was too busy paying attention to the Bluetooth in his ear.

“Hey sweetie,” he said in a long-suffering voice. “Remember how I said I might not make it? Make that definitely. I'm definitely not gonna make it.” Braking, he swerved around a corner in an attempt to lose them further.

“Another botfight?” Fred's voice was somewhat grainy over the earpiece. “Geez, I'm sorry, Tadpole. Do you want me to hang up?”

“It's fine,” Tadashi assured him. “I think we lost them.”

“Rotten luck,” Fred sighed. “See you tomorrow, then?”

“Rain check,” Tadashi agreed. “And Hiro's probably going to buy my silence with a third of his winnings anyway, so maybe I can afford to take you somewhere nice and make up for this.” With one more acceleration, he broke free of the alleys and made it back onto the main road without dying or attracting cops. 

“Fine,” Hiro muttered.

“No _way,_ Tadpole, you're the one who needs to get taken someplace nice.” Fred sounded almost offended. “Listen, how's Saturday? We can do lunch, hit the town.”

“Didn't you have a thing Saturday?”

“Yeah...” Fred let the word drag. “But, it was something a friend of mine at SF State brought up this one time to do 'if I could', and I'm pretty sure she's got plenty of people on it already. Plus I know Sunday's a bust because that's lab day for you. I mean, I'd still probably come in and hang then, but. Y'know. I wanna see you Saturday, too.”

Tadashi felt his face heat under his helmet. “Yeah, you too. I'll see you then, buh-bye.”

“Kisses!” Fred hung up. Tadashi reached up, plucked the earpiece from his ear, and slipped it into his pocket.

“You quite finished?” Hiro asked dryly. “I hate to keep interrupting you, Casanova, but is a scooter chase really the time to reschedule a date?”

“Oh, no, you don't get to complain,” Tadashi informed him. “And so help me, if you drag me off on Saturday, or any other time, I will _end_ you. Stop botfighting.”

“Your argument's not very compelling when my pockets are full of cash,” Hiro pointed out.

“How about the fact that that was the closest one yet?” Tadashi shot back. “Did you see the guy in the skull shirt? He looked ready to knife you!”

“Sorry.” For a moment Hiro actually sounded sheepish. “I'll be more careful. The guys at my last two fights were pretty cool about it.”

It was as good as Tadashi was going to get, at least for now.

And in the end, it wasn't Hiro who threw a wrench into things.

Tadashi awoke on Saturday with a faint mental “ding” noise, only to realize that it was in fact not mental, and his phone was ringing. Mumbling, he untangled his arms from the blankets and groped for it, before squinting at the screen. Quickly, he hit “ignore call” and sent a text instead.

“ _Hiro and I share a room,_ ” he informed Fred. “ _Just text, okay?_ ”

“ _Sorry. And I'm sorry it's super early._ ”

“ _It's just eight, I've had worse,_ ” Tadashi assured him. “ _What is it?_ ”

“ _So remember how I said my friend probably wouldn't need my help today?_ ”

Tadashi's heart sank. “ _I take it I'll see you tomorrow, then?_ ”

“ _Well..._ ” There was a pause, though the little symbol told him that Fred was still typing. “ _I'm sorry, I'm super torn right now because she's a good friend but you're my boyfriend and IDK_ ”

“ _Fred, it's ok._ ”

“ _A bunch of people canceled on her so she really needs it but like_ ” Another pause. “ _The actual thing is she's helping her sister do a Girl Scout project. And the project is planting trees at Quarry Lakes._ ”

Tadashi blinked. “ _Good on her._ ”

“ _So what I'm saying is does that sound fun to you?_ ” Fred asked. _“It does to me but I'm weird and it's not really a date thing so._ ”

“ _Not gonna lie_ ,” Tadashi answered. “ _It actually sounds kind of cool._ ”

“ _Really?_ ”

“ _I haven't been to Quarry Lakes since I was a kid._ ”

“ _Yeah I was thinking we could hang out there when we were done,_ ” Fred went on. “ _Get some food, walk around the park, maybe make out a little. Or a lot._ ”

Tadashi grinned. “ _Welp, I'm sold. Meet at your place?_ ”

“ _If you get here by nine we have like an hour and a half to do whatever before we go._ ”

Tadashi was out of bed and dressed in record time before grabbing his phone and heading out the door. “ _Let's get breakfast_.”

* * *

Later, on full stomachs, Tadashi and Fred sat together in the back of one of Fred's family's cars as Heathcliff drove them to the appointed place. Fred's head was on Tadashi's shoulder as they talked in hushed tones.

“Have I met any of your SF State friends?” Tadashi asked. “I feel like I should have, but I don't think I have.”

“It never really came up, I guess,” Fred said. “They're the people I go to school with, and you're – well, you _were_ my bro from high school, and the SFIT guys I know through you, so there's just a separation, I guess.” He shifted, pressing closer. Tadashi slipped his arm around Fred's shoulders to make things more comfortable. “That being said, if you want to keep us low-key around them too, that's fine.”

Tadashi shrugged. “I mean... I don't know them and they don't know any of the guys, so we don't have to outright _hide_ anything, but we also don't have to announce it, you know? So we just-”

“Don't ask, don't tell?” Fred said dryly.

“Well when you say it like _that_ -”

Fred cut him off with a laugh and a kiss to his jaw, and Tadashi grinned and changed the subject for the rest of the ride.

Heathcliff was driving into Quarry Lakes when Fred sat up and nudged him gently. “Okay, so, quick warning. There's two friends of mine you're gonna meet. One's really friendly.”

“Is that really a warning?” Tadashi asked.

“No, I mean _really_ friendly. Like Honey, only tiny and kinda... well, you'll see. Anyway, the other guy's pretty much the opposite. He probably won't talk much, and if he does it's gonna be ninety nine percent biting sarcasm.”

“So, good cop bad cop kind of thing?”

“More like a papillon and a pit bull hanging out. You'll see.” As Fred spoke, Heathcliff drove them around the lake and slowed to a halt at the head of a trail leading onto a long, wide peninsula. The two of them got out, Fred rapping lightly on the outside of the car. “I'll text you when we need a pickup.” With a nod, the butler drove off. Fred slipped his hand into Tadashi's, and the two of them started the walk up the trail to the end of the peninsula.

Tadashi stretched his arms, glad hat he had foregone his usual sweater and jacket. Without the wind off the bay, the air was hot under the summer sun. He pulled the brim of his cap over his eyes to keep the light from blinding him, and took in his surroundings. The peninsula was fairly flat and lined with trees and high bushes along the trail. As they neared the end of it, a wide stretch of land surrounded on three sides by water, Tadashi let go of Fred's hand to turn in a small circle and admire the place. It opened out into a much sparser area. Out on the field amid tall grass were the beginnings of rows of what Tadashi could only assume were baby trees, labeled and spaced apart by several yards each. A few full-grown trees stood to shade a small cluster of picnic tables that held gardening tools and three people sitting around chatting.

Fred strode forward, bumping him affectionately with his shoulder, and called out with a wave. “Looking good so far, guys—ohmygod.”

Tadashi blinked, faintly bewildered. He hadn't noticed her run up, too interested in Fred and their surroundings, but one of the girls had already crossed the distance at a bound and was launching herself into a hug with Fred. His boyfriend took the collision with a faint _oomf._

“Hi, Fred!” It wasn't quite a squeal, but it was definitely a very loud, very high-pitched happy noise, and Tadashi was surprised by his own spike of mild annoyance. “Thanks for coming, you guys are the best!” She released him (and the irritation receded), dropping a few inches when she did so, as her feet hadn't been touching the ground throughout the hug. And no wonder – she was tiny, shorter than Gogo and only a few inches taller than Hiro. She was several shades too dark to be called just tan, with wavy black hair and a wispy, waifish build. She looked like an elf in jeans and flannel.

“No prob.” Fred shrugged. “So Tadashi, this is Miranda Alvarez, we have a few classes together at SF State. Miranda, this is Tadashi Hamada, my, uh-”

“Boyfriend.” It slipped out before Tadashi could stop it, and he blinked, bewildered at himself. Why had he said that? Hadn't they just established that they wouldn't be announcing it? _Oh my God, was that a jealousy thing?_ he wondered. _That's utterly ridiculous, Fred's with you and also gay so it'd be a moot point anyway, this is embarrassing and you're being ridiculous._ Fred glanced at him, looking faintly surprised for half a second before his face split in a huge grin. The girl absolutely _beamed_.

“Really? Congratulations, Fred!” Her attention turned to Tadashi, and she looked up at him with the sunniest smile he had ever seen. “It's so nice to meet you!”

In the face of unabashed friendliness, Tadashi couldn't help grinning back. “Nice to meet one of Fred's friends.”

He was about to offer a handshake when she bounced a little on the balls of her feet and held her hands out with her fingers laced together like she was offering someone a boost. “Quick, do this.”

Confused, Tadashi copied the gesture. “Like this? Why-” 

Before he could finish his question, there was a shoe sole planted in his nested fingers. Miranda planted her hands lightly on his shoulders and, with a quiet “hup,” climbed him like a squirrel to sit on his shoulders. Tadashi stumbled a little but stayed standing, and felt Miranda nest her arms on top of his head.

“Um.”

“I like your boyfriend, Fred,” Miranda chirped from her perch. “He's very climbable.”

“Um.”

“Why do you always do this?” Fred asked.

“He's pretty cute, too,” Miranda went on.

“I am aware of that, yes.”

“No really, good job.”

“I don't think I warned you sufficiently,” Fred said matter-of-factly to Tadashi.

“I don't think you did,” Tadashi agreed.

Miranda tapped the top of his head lightly. “I'm not too heavy, am I?”

“That's not really the issue here, no,” Tadashi replied.

“Okay. Hold still.” Tadashi held still, and Miranda shifted on his shoulders before lightly leaping back to the ground. When he spun around to face her again, she was waving to the others. “Okay, I think we can get started now! Teresa, do your thing!”

They converged on the picnic tables. The other girl looked like a slightly smaller, short-haired version of Miranda, and gave Tadashi the most blasé look he had ever seen, even by the standards of teenagers. “Sorry about my sister. She was raised in a barn. Thanks for coming to help on my project, I'm Teresa.”

“And that's my man Alex,” Fred finished, pointing to the third member of the group, a tall pale-looking guy with bleached hair and a flat expression. “Hey, Alex, this is my boyfriend Tadashi.”

“Your boyfriend,” the guy echoed, sounding faintly incredulous.

“Yup!”

Alex blinked owlishly at him, before raising his eyes heavenward. “Finally, it's safe for me to die.”

“Aww, don't say that. How come?”

“Because clearly hell hath frozen over-” Miranda cut him off with an elbow to the ribs. “Ow. Hey, I am lily-white and I burn easy, I gotta worry about these things.”

Tadashi couldn't help snickering, but was interrupted by Teresa climbing on top of the nearest table and raising her voice. “Okay, so – less people than I thought, so we're gonna cut down on the quota today. If we can finish off a couple rows we'll still be good. We have spare gloves, and garden tools coming out our ears, so we shouldn't worry about running out of anything, especially since we stocked up for more people than ended up showing. If you get confused about what goes where, I have this handy-dandy chart-” She picked up a large sheet of paper from the table and held it up so that the color-coded diagram was clearly visible. “-which shows what goes where. Also there's specific instructions for what each tree needs, how big the hole's dimensions should be, and we got rulers if you wanna be anal about it.”

“Te _re_ sa,” Miranda broke in, whining a little.

“No, hush up, we're all adults. I can say anal if I want to.”

“You're sixteen!”

“Fine, I'm the only not-adult,” Teresa conceded. “I could stand here and argue that anal's not a bad word, or I could get the ball rolling here. Anyway, like I was saying before my sister butted in, if you have any other questions, ask me because I'm marking this down as 'leadership hours', so they need to include me doing leadership. Help me out here, guys, this shit's going on all my college apps.”

“Te _re_ sa!”

“It's like I'm watching my own life, but from the _outside_ ,” Tadashi muttered. Fred, the only one close enough to hear him, snorted loudly and doubled up snickering.

Eventually, Tadashi found himself crouched over a marked spot on the field, wielding a trowel while Fred double-checked the spacing. “You seem to be in good hands at SF State,” he said quietly. “Your friends seem nice. Well, except for Alex.”

“Yeah, just started hanging out with him recently.” Fred put the tape measure aside to help him dig. “Met him through Miranda. They're, like, crazy close. Like a brother-from-another-mother kind of deal. Which is weird, because Alex makes Gogo look chipper and I'm pretty sure rainbows are what happens when Miranda blows her nose.”

“Papillon and a pit bull?” Tadashi said, echoing Fred's earlier words.

“Pretty much.” Pausing, Fred stuck a ruler down the hole to see how much deeper it needed to be. “Speaking of, you don't have to worry or anything – Miranda's just really friendly. She's tactile about it. Hugs everybody, but it doesn't mean anything besides 'hello'.”

Tadashi winced a little. He'd been hoping Fred would write off his bizarrely possessive moment. “Yeah, I know that. I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking-”

“Hey, it's okay,” Fred laughed softly. “Guess I could've warned you a little. You're not usually the jealous type.”

“I know,” Tadashi muttered. “And – man, I'm embarrassed. I mean really.”

“Don't be.” Leaning over, Fred bumped their shoulders together lightly. “I mean, all you did was be handsome and then call yourself my boyfriend in front of my friends. So... yeah, pretty much no problems here. As inner Neanderthals go, yours is pretty tame.”

Tadashi raised an eyebrow at him. “Inner Neanderthal?”

“I could use fancy words like 'base desires' or 'id', but I don't wanna be pretentious,” Fred said with a shrug. “Seriously, though, I get it if you feel weird about other people getting clingy with me. Can't help what you feel. As long as you don't do something dumb like rip off your shirt or challenge her to a duel, we're golden.”

Tadashi snickered, before realizing that Fred's delivery was distinctly un-joke-like. “...Wait, has anyone ever done that with you?”

“Of course not,” Fred replied, in a tone of voice that suggested there was more to it than that. Tadashi simply paused and looked at him, waiting, before Fred added reluctantly, in a voice tinged with embarrassment, “There was no duel involved, and... it wasn't his shirt.”

“What.”

“He somehow worked it into a promposal, which was kind of impressive, but everyone was uncomfortable and I said no.”

“ _What._ ”

“Nope,” Fred shook his head. “Not gonna talk about exes, that's a no-no. Tree-planting time is now.”

“Wait a minute, I think I remember this,” Tadashi said, blinking with a sudden epiphany. “Is _this_ why we spent senior prom night playing laser tag? You never said!”

Even with the sun behind him and his face shadowed, Fred's blush was obvious. “Tadpole, I think we've already established that I didn't tell you _everything_ in high school.”

Tadashi laughed and kissed the bridge of his nose.

 


	12. Cloud Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter is NSFW at the end.

The late afternoon sun beat down on them, and the paths around Quarry Lakes had precious little shade, but Fred's hand was curled around his and their fingers laced loosely together, which pretty much canceled out everything else. Fred's friends had already left, and as Fred had suggested that morning, the two of them had gone off on their own to enjoy the scenery.

And make out a little. All in all, by Tadashi's judgment, a good day.

Fred's phone went off, with a message from Heathcliff alerting them that he would be arriving shortly to pick them up at the front entrance, but there was no need to rush and they may as well take their time meeting him. (Heathcliff was a “real bro,” according to Fred, and Tadashi could not help but agree.) Still, they turned around on the path and made their way – at a leisurely pace – back to the parking lot.

His good mood was ruined when he went to check his own phone. He had been expecting some kind of text from Hiro, and he was right, but it held an unwelcome surprise.

“ _First of all,_ ” said Hiro's text, “ _it wasn't my fault. And second of all how do I use concealer on a bruise I need to know for reasons._ ”

“Oh my God,” Tadashi said out loud, and almost simultaneously swooned, had a stroke, and dropped his phone. “Oh my _God._ ”

“What? What is it?”

Before he had the chance to work himself into a panic, his phone chimed again with another text. _Just realized how that sounded. No one punched me you can unclench now._ ”

“I'm going to kill him,” Tadashi muttered, furiously typing a response. “ _Were you botfighting?_ ”

“ _I was not_ ,” Hiro replied. “ _But I was modifying my bot and it went all spazzy._ ” Tadashi gaped at his phone for a moment longer before Hiro added, “ _But yes I'll probably be going botfighting at some point that is a given._ ”

“I'm going to kill him,” Tadashi repeated. After pocketing his phone, he reached up to massage his temple.

“Brother trouble again?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I just wish I knew how to convince him to stop, without having to resort to just telling Aunt Cass.” Fred squeezed his hand, and Tadashi shot him a grateful look before going on. “She's got enough to worry about without getting dragged into this, too.”

“Could she stop him?” Fred asked.

“I don't know. Maybe? She shouldn't have to, that's the problem.” Tadashi frowned. “I'm his older brother. He's looked up to me since he was tiny – why can't I get him out of this?”

“What do you usually do?” Fred wanted to know. “Are you the lead-by-example guy, or what?”

“Sort of? I guess? I don't know, it's a lot of things. He trusts me, and nine out of ten he listens to what I have to say, but this just...” Tadashi shrugged helplessly.

Fred hummed thoughtfully. “Have you tried telling him to apply for college like you? I mean, fourteen-year-old high school grad, he's probably bored out of his mind and needs something to do.”

“I know that's _exactly_ what it is,” Tadashi answered miserably. “And I've been telling him to apply for months, but it's the same song and dance every time – 'I just got out of school, I don't want to go back already.' 'Botfighting makes me so much money!' 'I don't need college because I'm a child genius and I already know everything.' And no matter what I tell him, he just-”

“You know what? I think I see your problem.” Fred let go of his hand to sling his arm around Tadashi's shoulders and pull him into a one-armed hug. “You can't just tell him, you gotta, y'know, make it sound good. Sell the product.”

“Sell the product?” Tadashi echoed.

“Take it from an English major, Tadpole.” Fred kissed him on the cheek. “You gotta show, not tell. Try and, I dunno, con him into coming with you to the lab or something. Doesn't matter how, as long as you get him there. It's like sci-fi central in there, he'll never want to leave!”

Tadashi hesitated, chewing this over. “You really think that would work?”

“Hey, if nothing else, it's something you haven't tried yet,” Fred pointed out. “So what's the harm?”

Tadashi pursed his lips thoughtfully. “There is none. I just need to think of a way to convince him to actually go.”

“Tell him you'll take him to a botfight, plop him on your moped, and take him to the campus instead?” Fred suggested.

Tadashi snorted. “Are you kidding? He'd never buy that.”

On the first week of August, almost two weeks and three botfights later, Tadashi ate his words.

* * *

“Look, Fred, no offense, but...” Wasabi seemed to dither for a moment, as if wrestling with himself over the right words. “Look, how long have you been in that thing?”

Fred popped back the upper jaw of his mascot suit like a hood. It was starting to get a tad bit sweaty in there, and he needed to air the thing out a little. “Uh... what time is it?”

Wasabi glanced at his watch. “Almost eight thirty,” he called over.

“About two and a half hours.” With that admission, Fred heard Wasabi's quiet noise of disgust. “I mean, minus the four bathroom breaks it's maybe two hours and twenty minutes.”

Honey, having overheard in the midst of her own busy evening, glanced up from her phone with a faintly bewildered expression. “Your bathroom breaks are two and a half minutes long?”

Fred shrugged and tucked his sign under his arm. “I pee fast and I don't wash my hands.”

At his station, Wasabi retched.

“I mean I use hand sanitizer, dude. I'm not an animal.”

“Says you,” Wasabi said thickly. “Nothing beats soap and hot water.”

“You mean the soap and water that you get by wiggling the faucet handles and soap dispensers that hundreds of other people have wiped their dirty hands all over after doing their business?” Fred said innocently. “After which you dry them by pumping that paper towel thing that everyone's touched with wet hands, or pressing the metal button that everyone has also touched with wet hands, and then go on to open the door which has a turning knob because whoever designed the bathrooms was apparently Satan?” Wasabi's eyes were bulging slightly, and Fred shrugged. “Or, I can do my business, touch the nasty door handle with my nasty hands, and then squirt on some Purell and purge all the germs in one go when I'm outside.”

Halfway across the room, Wasabi placed his headphones firmly over his ears and threw himself back into his work. Gogo's laughter could be heard throughout most of the lab.

“Point made,” Honey said lightly as she measured out solutes – solvents? One of the two. “But really, it was a good question – why are you still in your costume? Didn't you get Tadashi's message?”

“Seriously,” Gogo piped up. “Even if you hadn't, it's all we've been talking about for the past few hours. Tadashi's probably on his way with the munchkin now.”

“It _has_ been a while since he texted that he was going to pick his brother up,” Honey pointed out. “I hope nothing went wrong. But, still, it doesn't change my question.”

“Doesn't it? I mean, you already answered.” Fred shrugged, giving his sign another twirl. “Tadashi's on his way with his little bro. I want to make a good impression.”

“You... want to make a good impression by dressing up in a lizard costume?” Gogo's eyebrow rose. “Wow, Fred, that is... completely believable, actually.”

“It's very you,” Honey agreed, holding back a giggle.

“I have no idea whether that's a compliment or a criticism,” Fred admitted. “Either way, thank you.”

Eventually, a rushed-looking text went around the group, Tadashi warning them of their imminent arrival. After a minute or two of Honey containing her excitement and Wasabi reorganizing his workstation (again), the four of them dispersed to wait around and, well, act natural. Or as close to natural as any of them ever acted. Fred entertained himself by squashing himself – suit and all – into odd places for the purpose of startling the other students. He only stopped when Callaghan came out of his office to politely remind him of what the intended purpose of the hallway lockers actually was, driving him to return sheepishly to the main lab.

To be frank, his timing could not have been more spot-on. Lugging his sign, he wandered out to find that the, well, _munchkin_ , had arrived. And, as he put up his suit's hood and drew closer, he heard the kid open his mouth and say the magic words, “Who's Fred?”

“This guy, right here!” was the first full sentence Fred ever spoke to Hiro Hamada. The kid's face, along with the noise he made, was _priceless_. Behind him, Tadashi looked torn between bursting out laughing and double-facepalming. From there, Fred sat back on his heels and, well, acted like he always did with everyone. Why try to impress him with a front, right?

...Well, okay, so maybe he threw in the flip for vanity-related reasons, but if the kid seemed moderately entertained, then who was hurt?

In the process, Fred let himself have a closer look at Hamada Beta. So this was the guy terrorizing the botfighting scene and giving his boyfriend gray hairs at twenty. First impression – tiny. Like five-foot nothing, probably eighty-five pounds soaking wet, if Fred was any judge. And, along with tiny, _adorable._ Big, wide eyes the same shiny brown as his big brother, over a gap-toothed smile and a nose that was basically a button. Throw in the noodley frame and the tousled hair that was as close to the shonen-protagonist look as physics-abiding hair could get, and this kid had himself a recipe for squee.

Fred was at a disadvantage to the others, for obvious reasons. Gogo had her shiny experimental bike, Wasabi had his shiny lasers, and Honey had her shiny beakers full of shiny chemicals. Fred had a lizard suit, a sign, and a charming personality. All good and valuable things to have in life, but maybe not so immediately impressive. So when Mini-mada moved on, Fred didn't have much of an idea of how he'd done. He distracted himself by bantering with the others, glancing briefly to the door to watch the brothers step out.

Hopefully he'd impressed some level of good feelings in his boyfriend's little brother. Hiro certainly had in him.

Frankly, anyone who looked at Tadashi Hamada like that, like he was something unspeakably precious, had an automatic place in Fred's good books.

* * *

“You were  _arrested?_ ” Fred sat bolt upright, or at least he tried to. It was a difficult feat when he was sitting upside down on the couch. He struggled a bit, kicking his legs to the side until he could right himself again. “Holy crap, Tadashi, did they cuff you and stuff?”

“Yes.” Even over the phone, Tadashi sounded long-suffering. “We spent some time in holding. That's why we took so long getting there.” After introducing Hiro around, Tadashi had gone home and, according to later messages, given Hiro a rundown of the application process and promptly crashed in bed and slept through his Tuesday morning lecture. By now it was almost eleven, and Tadashi was fully awake and somewhat sheepishly discussing the previous night's events with Fred.

“You okay?” Fred asked at length. “I hear prison changes a man.”

“I'll survive. I'm sure, eventually, Aunt Cass will, too.” Tadashi paused, and when he spoke again, Fred could practically hear the grin in his voice. “Especially since Hiro's pretty bent on getting into SFIT now.”

Fred bounced excitedly on the couch cushion. “It worked?”

“Like a charm.” The pure glee in Tadashi's voice made Fred want to curl into a ball – or better yet, cuddle him. “He's been brainstorming all day. Lot of paper balls involved. Whatever he's thinking up, it's gonna be great and _man_ I can't wait to see what it is!”

“You sound a little breathless,” Fred remarked. “Are you victory-lapping?”

“The cat is getting confused,” Tadashi admitted. “I'm just a little, I dunno. Hyper. Working off the excess energy.”

“You're adorable.”

“I'm aware of that.” Tadashi's voice softened. “And... thanks. For helping.”

Fred shrugged. “Meh, I hardly did anything. Your bro doesn't seem like the pep rally type.”

“Maybe not,” Tadashi conceded, and Fred could imagine him shrugging. “But still-”

“Did I make a good first impression?” Fred asked hopefully. The answer meant a lot to him, he realized. And why wouldn't it? Hiro was the most important person in Tadashi's life. Tadashi, if Fred was any judge, was the most important person in Fred's life. The last thing he wanted to do was clash with his boyfriend's family.

“Of course you did,” Tadashi assured him. “Seriously. All of you helped me convince him. I feel so much safer now. That's probably where the hyper feeling is coming from, it's like a huge weight off my chest. If my life was a musical this'd be a prime song-and-dance number moment.”

Fred laughed. “Well, don't let me interrupt your emotional sugar-high, Tadpole. Tell your bro I said hey, okay?”

“Heh, sure.”

“Love you, bye.”

Fred hung up, grinning from ear to ear. If everything went well, then Hiro would be attending school with the guys in what, a couple months? Wouldn't that be awesome-

_Wait_.

Fred blinked, stared down at the phone in his hand, and mentally replayed the end of the conversation a few times.

_Did I just tell him-?_

* * *

Tadashi froze in the middle of the room, staring down at his phone wide-eyed.  _Did he just say-?_

He needed a moment. He was in the living room, more or less alone, and he needed a moment to curl up with his knees to his chest and his fingers running through his hair. He sank down on the couch, placing the phone to the side to mentally go over what he had just heard.

It could have just slipped out, but then... well, Tadashi was all about science. He was all about evidence. And frankly, the past two months was full of it. Everything from hugs and kisses and meaningful glances to words and hand-holding and gentle touches, and finally those two words just now like a cherry on top.

On top of the high he was already riding from seeing Hiro throw himself into the project of getting into SFIT, this was a little more than Tadashi could handle. Mochi ventured onto the couch to headbutt him curiously, and probably regretted that decision when Tadashi scooped him up and hugged him.

Placing the bewildered cat to the side, Tadashi grabbed his phone and sent a quick message (“ _dont go anywhere hnag on_ ”) to Fred before jumping up and flying out the door.

* * *

Fred had about twenty minutes to stew in his nervousness between when Tadashi texted him and when Tadashi actually arrived. This meant more pacing on the first floor before the awaited knock came and Fred flew to the front door and Heathcliff made himself scarce.

“Somewhere private?” was the first thing out of Tadashi's mouth, and that could have been terrifying in a different context. But Fred could see the hope on his face, the buzz of energy that wasn't worry or anxiety, but excitement. With a nod, Fred took him upstairs to his room and shut the door firmly behind them.

“I didn't freak you out with that, did I?” he asked cautiously. “Because-”

“Did you mean it?” Tadashi asked bluntly.

“Um. I.” Fred snapped his mouth shut to prevent himself from babbling. Tadashi was staring at him straight on, and it was all he could do to regain control of his mouth and go on. “Well, yeah.” Something sparked in Tadashi's eyes. “Look, I don't know how obvious I've been for the past two months, but... yeah. I love you. I have for a while and-”

Tadashi kissed him.

All coherent thoughts were replaced by lips, by hands that touched and groped and petted, by short, frantic breathing, by a nuzzle in the crook of his neck that made him draw up his shoulders with a giddy laugh. Tadashi drew him close, arms around the small of his back, lips pressing against Fred's ear as he whispered. " _Good, because_ _I love you, too._ "

Any leftover dregs of embarrassment left him, and he cradled Tadashi's face between his hands and pulled him in again. He kissed Tadashi because he could either kiss Tadashi or breathe, and with those four words echoing in his brain, he didn't think he would be breathing any time soon. Stumbling a little, Tadashi maneuvered them over to the bed and sat down, pulling Fred into his lap. Fred practically fell upon him, pushing Tadashi down until he lay flat on his back with Fred on top of him, kissing and nipping at his neck until Tadashi's breath hitched. Heat burned in Fred's belly like hunger, driving him onward to caress with lips and tongue, palms and fingertips, to slide his hands under Tadashi's shirt and map out his chest by touch. Beneath him, Tadashi's hips rolled upward, pressing briefly against his growing erection.

Fred was pulling at Tadashi's clothes, fumbling at the buttons of his sweater without thinking of what he was doing, when Tadashi drew in a gasp. “Fred?”

He nipped at Tadashi's jaw, enjoying the sound of Tadashi's breath catching in his throat.. “Yeah?'

“Do you...?” There was hesitance in Tadashi's voice that made Fred pause. “Do you want to... um...?”

Shocked, Fred pulled back to prop himself up on his hands. Tadashi was staring up at him, red-faced, but he didn't  _ look _ uncomfortable. He looked sort of embarrassed, maybe a little curious, and...

“ Do  _ you _ ?” Fred asked. He tried to keep the hint of hope out of his voice, but it was hard –  _ he _ was hard, and just the thought of Tadashi naked and gasping beneath him was enough to make his mind go a little blank.

Tadashi's tongue flicked out, moistening his lips. “Yeah, I do,” Tadashi replied, and Fred could have passed out from pure joy.

Losing consciousness at this point would make sex a little problematic, though, so instead he kissed Tadashi until he was sure their mouths would bruise. “Are you sure?” he murmured when he came back up for air.

“Yeah.” Tadashi traced his thumb over Fred's cheek, over his red, swollen lips. “I'm sure.”

The thought of getting up made Fred want to scream in frustration, but since he hadn't seen this coming, the lube and condoms were sitting all the way over in the attached bathroom. By the time Fred came back with them, Tadashi was sitting barefoot and shirtless and undoing his pants. Fred barely had the presence of mind to lock the door before tossing his own shirt on the floor and rejoining him on the bed.

For a moment he relished the feeling of bare skin on skin, breathing deeply as he trailed kisses down Tadashi's shoulder. With one hand sliding up to Tadashi's chest, he pressed him back down on the bed again. Lying across him, he could feel Tadashi shiver a little as he complied.

_ Oh shit, that's right – first time with a guy _ . Fred licked his lips nervously. “We can go slow, if you want.” His voice was halfway to a whisper. “And, lemme know if you want to stop, okay?”

Tadashi nodded, eyes trusting. Fred pressed his lips to his boyfriend's temple, hooked his thumbs under Tadashi's jeans and the waistband of his underwear, and slowly pulled them down. Then, raising himself up again, he pulled off his shorts and boxers, sat back on his heels, and rolled on a condom. He could see Tadashi watching him, looking equal parts nervous and eager even as Fred moved to straddle him again.

“Ready?” A nod. With one lube-slicked hand Fred prepped him, stroking carefully with one finger, then two. Tadashi squirmed. “You okay?”

Tadashi's hands settled firmly on his shoulders. “Y-yeah. Just... feels weird.”

“It'll feel better in a sec.” He reached up with his free hand and gave one of Tadashi's a comforting squeeze. He hooked his fingers and was rewarded when Tadashi gasped, hips twitching. Grinning slightly, Fred did it again, relishing Tadashi's shivers. Carefully he took his hand away and positioned himself between Tadashi's bare legs. He bit his lip, forcing back impatience – part of him wanted to hurry up, the part that imagined thrusting in and out until he had Tadashi writhing and moaning with bliss. But he ignored it, focusing on Tadashi's face as he braced himself over his boyfriend and slid in slowly.

Tadashi gasped – equal parts pain and pleasure – and his hands tightened on Fred's shoulders.. “Holy sh-”

“You okay?” Fred gasped out. Heat pooled in the pit of his stomach, his breath came sharp and fast.

Tadashi was tense beneath him, legs curled up so that his knees pressed against Fred's sides. “Yeah, just-” His voice cracked, and he moaned.

“Sorry.” Fred kept a slow, gentle rhythm, feeling Tadashi's legs tremble against him. Tadashi was biting his lip, and Fred gave in to the temptation to lean down and kiss him.

* * *

Fred was kissing him.

He was tense and nervous as his boyfriend made love to him gently, but then Fred's soft, warm mouth met his and the kiss eased his bottom lip from between his clenched teeth. Fred's lips moved, trailing along his jaw, pressing kisses down his neck to his collarbone, and Tadashi felt his joints turn to water and his tension ease.

“You good?” Fred murmured into the side of his neck. “If you don't like it, we can stop.”

“No, it's fine,” Tadashi whispered, turning his head to nip at his ear.. The initial pain was fading, and Fred was gentle, and-

Fred thrust into him again, and a jolt of pleasure lanced up Tadashi's spine until he cried out. When it felt like Fred was about to hesitate again, Tadashi found his words again.

“D-do that again.” He heard Fred's soft, throaty laugh, felt his warm breath against his shoulder. Another thrust to the same spot made him arch his back and gasp. Tadashi pulled Fred down against him, one arm slung around the back of his neck, the other hand tangling in his hair. Fred picked up speed, sending spikes of pleasure through him until Tadashi could only bury his face in his boyfriend's bare shoulder and move to meet each thrust.

Fred's soft huff of laughter sounded deep in his throat. “This feel good?”

“Don't stop.” Tadashi moaned, voice muffled against Fred's skin. “Just – don't stop. Please don't stop.” Fred's mouth found the side of his neck, cutting off further pleas with nipping teeth and a swirling warm tongue.

Time blurred into a haze, and Tadashi let himself get lost in the fog. Fred was a solid, warm weight on top of him, naked and thrusting into him, kissing his mouth and his neck with eager lips and teeth and tongue. His knees tightened against Fred's sides again – not nervous this time but craving contact, wanting nothing more than to lock Fred against him and keep him there, to feel this heat and friction until warm pleasure made him forget how to breathe. Tadashi turned his head and pressed Fred close, shivering as Fred's mouth worked at his throat, wondering if Fred could feel his pounding pulse against his tongue.

He couldn't help crying out when Fred angled himself and thrust in almost perfectly. Tadashi writhed, and the cry died down to something between a sigh and a breathless laugh.

“You like that?” Fred murmured against the hollow of his throat.

“I love it.” Tadashi's arm tightened around the back of Fred's neck. “I love it and I love you.”

He whined softly when Fred's mouth left him, before he felt his boyfriend's breath cold against his moistened skin. “ _ God _ you are beautiful,” Fred whispered just inches from Tadashi's ear as he thrust deep inside him again. “You know that?”

The hand in Fred's hair tightened, fingers carding roughly through the tangles. Tadashi keened into Fred's shoulder, pressing his teeth sharply against the warm skin. Joy filled him until he felt like he was brimming with it. “Like you're not?” he said hoarsely. “You're-” His breath hitched with pleasure, cutting off further words.

Above him, Fred moaned. Tadashi felt teeth scraping against his collarbone, heard Fred's excited, shortened breaths, and felt the pace picking up. He was close.

Tadashi grinned a little wickedly, lowered his voice, and whispered in Fred's ear. “I can't wait to do this to  _ you _ next time.”

Fred shuddered, keening as he rolled his hips forward one last time. “ _ Fuck _ ,” he choked out, and reached down to wrap his hand around Tadashi's shaft. It wasn't long for either of them. Fred came with a strangled cry, and after a few strokes from Fred's hand, Tadashi followed him over the edge. 

“ _ Fred _ -” If he'd been planning on saying anything else, he quickly forgot it once he hit his climax. He rode it out with a choked gasp and his nails digging into Fred's shoulder. Once it was over it left him breathless and limp, uncurling his shaking legs from around Fred as his boyfriend pulled out of him. With a sigh Fred collapsed on top of him, breathing harshly against the crook of his neck.

“Oh my God,” Fred murmured. Softly Tadashi ran his hand up and down his back, drifting in a fog of euphoria. It was a moment or two before Fred's voice reached him again. “So, uh. Good?”

“Not gonna lie,” Tadashi replied, staring up at the ceiling through drooping eyelids. “That was awesome.” His heart rate was finally slowing, but he could still feel it pounding in his chest. Or maybe that was Fred's – they were pressed close enough that it was easy to mistake.

Fred laughed as he rolled off of him, and Tadashi glanced down just in time to see him toss away the condom. “I'll pick it up later,” Fred murmured lazily, curling up next to him.

“Gonna need to use your shower,” Tadashi remarked.

Fred's arm settled across his chest. “Later,” he repeated, pressing his mouth to Tadashi's shoulder.

Carefully Tadashi turned over to lie on his side, face to face with Fred, the two of them sharing the pillow. Fred gazed back at him with a lopsided grin on his face, eyes half-closed, hair falling over his face and pillow in a tousled mess. Carefully Tadashi reached out to brush it out of his face, cupping Fred's cheek before leaning in to kiss him again. It was deep but unhurried, a lazy meeting of lips with none of the previous frantic eagerness. Tadashi's eyes drifted shut, and he felt Fred's hand card through his hair. They broke it slowly, to breathe in the same air and press their foreheads together.

“Do you have to go home?” Fred asked reluctantly.

Tadashi stroked his cheek with his thumb. “I can stay for a while.”

“Cool.” The lopsided grin evened out, and Tadashi's breath caught a little when the glow of joy reached Fred's eyes. A moment later Fred sat up briefly, just long enough to tug down the covers on the bed. Shifting, Tadashi turned over to grab some tissues from the nightstand and wipe himself off as best he could before slipping between the sheets with him. Fred pulled him close, arms draped loosely around his neck. With a sigh of contentment, Tadashi nestled his forehead into the curve of Fred's shoulder and let Fred rest his chin on the top of his head. Their legs tangled together loosely, and they breathed against each other. Further words were pointless.

Tadashi pressed one last kiss to Fred's collarbone and let his eyes drift shut again. It was nice to be held.

 


	13. A Few Excellent Ideas

Fred came bouncing into the lab on Tuesday before Tadashi arrived, which was a rare sight. But Gogo, glancing up from yet another experimental electro-mag wheel that had not met her standards, spotted the peppy spring in his step and the slightly uneven way he was walking, and figured he must have pulled something during his mascot duties and ducked out early. In the meantime Honey was still at her workstation, heating a crucible over her Bunsen burner, and Wasabi had stepped out to use the bathroom. Tadashi was, Gogo assumed, still in class.

In his meandering path around their part of the lab, Fred wandered too close to the safety line at Wasabi's station. He hopskipped a little, stepping farther away as if expecting Wasabi to emerge and blow a gasket over his near-miss with lab safety measures. Gogo raised an eyebrow at this. Fred was pretty hyper on most days, but today he seemed... bouncier than usual. It wasn't much, but it was enough to raise Gogo's curiosity a notch.

“Did Wasabi remember to turn his lasers off?” Fred asked. “I don't know how to check without poking it, and I can't do that without losing a hand.”

“He usually does,” Honey remarked absently.

“One way to find out,” Gogo pointed out, and hurled the wheel in her hand through his laser grid. It went nowhere near Fred's head, but he still squawked in alarm and ducked out of the way. The wheel came out intact on the other side, bouncing off the opposite wall. “Yup, looks like he turned 'em off all right.”

“That's because, unlike _some people,_ I actually care about safety protocol!” As if on cue, Wasabi came storming in to defend his equipment. “I was gone for five minutes, Gogo, what gives?”

“Fred had a question,” she explained.

“Don't drag me into this!” Fred yelped indignantly. “I was standing behind the line like I was supposed to, and you threw a thing at my head!”

“Okay, one, it was nowhere near your head,” Gogo said lightly. “Two, if you've been mascotting all day, then I bet you've had way deadlier stuff lobbed at your head and lived.”

“I haven't been mascotting today,” Fred informed her, looking vaguely confused.

Gogo blinked, dropping the teasing for a moment. “Oh. I just assumed, 'cause...”

“I know. Easy mistake to make, since I'm here and stuff.” Fred shrugged airily. “But hey, you know me. Once in a while I just gotta take time out of my busy day being awesome to come hang with you guys just for funsies.”

“Oh,” was all a bewildered Gogo could say to that, because her assumption had nothing to do with his presence alone, and everything to do with his weirdly peppy mood and the funny way he was walking. “That's cool, I guess, I was just wondering because you _oh my God_. ”

There were times in Gogo's life where she began a sentence with her mind in one place and ended it in another. This was one of those times.

“What? What's the matter?” Fred looked even more bewildered than she had.

“I just realized something,” Gogo said, with the eerie sort of calmness that came with an earth-shattering epiphany. “I just realized that I need to high-five you, right now.”

“Oh. Cool.” Fred was always up for casual physical displays of platonic affection, and Gogo left the encounter with her right hand tingling from the mutual slap.

Casually she glanced over her shoulder, made sure he was walking away, and ducked behind her workstation to cackle as quietly as she could manage. She couldn't get too smug, not yet – there was only one way to gather more evidence to her assumption, and it was due to arrive about now. Quickly she arranged her face into her standard neutral expression, just in time for Tadashi to walk into the room fresh out of a lecture.

...Somewhat unevenly, if you squinted a little and knew what to look for.

…Wearing a scarf that she had never seen him wear.

...With an expression like he was doing his damnedest to keep the shit-eating grin off his face.

“ _Oh my God_ ,” Gogo repeated.

She felt like she ought to organize a party or something. It was a special occasion, after all; two of her friends had managed to get laid on the same day, and yeah that was because they'd done it with each other, but it was still pretty damn impressive. Would a party be excessive? Maybe something smaller. A card, at least. Maybe she'd buy a cake – there must be at least one bakery in town willing to write “Congrats on the sex” in icing. Did the Lucky Cat do cakes? That would be the ultimate irony right there.

_Nah,_ she thought.  _There are better ways to make a first impression on Tadashi's aunt._

For now, she would express her congratulations somewhat more subtly.  Tadashi was stretching his arms behind him, only to turn away like he was about to go off to his lab. Darting around from behind her bike, Gogo quickly intercepted him, placed herself directly in his path, and raised her hand.

Tadashi blinked owlishly at her. “...What?”

“High five. C'mon, don't leave me hanging.”

He looked mystified as he complied. “What's the occasion?” he asked.

And oh, it was tempting. It had been about two months and Gogo felt like she had missed out on prime opportunities to tease the hell out of both of them. She had held back when they were pining mutually like idiots, she had missed it when they first got together, she had let their adorable mooning run by her without comment, but she was sort of reaching her limit here. Part of her – a very large part, no less – was tempted to smirk at him and sing-song _Someone got lai-aid_ just for the sake of the look on his face afterward.

But in the end... nah.

When they came out into the open about it, then she'd let loose. Good things came to those who waited, after all.

So, contenting herself with that, she settled for grinning as innocently as she could manage, and replying, “You know why.” Let him interpret that however he wanted.

He blinked, looking confused and maybe a little alarmed for a split second, before grinning back in sudden realization. “Oh, right! Thanks for helping out with Hiro yesterday. I told him how to apply, and he's been busy ever since. He's really excited about coming.”

Several off-color jokes about being excited about coming ran through Gogo's head, and she ignored all of them. “Good for him,” she said simply. “He'll fit right in at the nerd lab.”

“I wish you'd stop calling it that,” Wasabi muttered.

Gogo wandered off to work again, trying not to hum. It couldn't be long now, she reasoned. Sooner or later they'd come out with it, a small weight would be off her shoulders, and they could figure out the changes it made to their whole friend-balance thing – if it made any changes at all. But for now, Gogo kept her mouth shut and smiled from behind her bike. She had to admit that there was a certain amount of excitement to it. The two of them were dancing around the rest with their little secret, and it was fun and only fair to dance around them right back.

She could imagine their faces, when they came out with this huge reveal only for her to blink, shrug, and ask them what else was new.

It was gonna be  _priceless_ .

* * *

“So how's the Hamunchkin doing on his project?” Fred asked as he strolled into Tadashi's lab station. Tadashi, who had been in a discussion with Professor Callaghan at the time, now lost his train of thought when he choked on his spit laughing.

“Better than he was,” Tadashi answered when he recovered himself. “Really, Fred? Hamunchkin? Tell me that's not his new nickname.”

“I'm testing a few out, I'll let you know when it's finalized,” Fred said pertly, shrugging. “And hey, I saw the size of him. Give him a haircut and some candy cane stockings, and he could represent the Lollipop Guild.” This time it was Callaghan's turn to cover a laugh behind his hand.

“I'm gonna tell him you said that,” Tadashi said. “I hope you understand that.”

“I've been tattled on for worse.” Fred shrugged again airily, and then stopped himself short. “Um. I'm not butting in on something, am I? Sorry, Professor, I didn't know you were in here.”

“Nothing particularly pressing,” Callaghan assured him. “And we were mostly finished, wouldn't you say?” There was a folder in his hands, which he passed to Tadashi.

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” Tadashi answered, looking vaguely surprised. “If I think of anything, I'll let you know.”

“Same to you.” Callaghan started walking out. “Thank you for your help with this, I greatly appreciate it.”

Tadashi smiled brightly. “Anytime. See you later, Professor.”

Stepping aside to let him pass, Fred waited until Callaghan had left the room and passed out of hearing range before speaking again. “How's he been doing, by the way?”

“Hm?” Half of Tadashi's attention was still on the open folder in his hands.

“Y'know, Callaghan,” Fred said cautiously. “Since the... thing.”

“Oh.” Tadashi looked up, face falling a little.

Fred shuffled awkwardly as he went on. “You spend the most time with him, out of everyone I know. So I can't really tell, but I thought you might.”

“He's... I dunno. I can't read his mind, and it's not like he tells me everything. But he's... better, I guess?” He held up the folder. “I think he's working on something cool, and I haven't seen him do that since before Abigail died.”

Fred perked up a little, interested. “What kind of something cool?”

“This... well, he told me to keep it hushed.”

Fred shrugged. “You know me, Tadpole, I'm not gonna get any of it.”

“That's true.” Smiling slightly, Tadashi tilted the folder to let him see. Sure enough, the notes and scribbles and carefully-sketched designs and diagrams, while very pretty, were absolute gibberish as far as Fred was concerned. The only remotely decipherable thing was a circular pencil design on the corner of one page, some kind of emblem if Fred was any judge.

Tapping it with his finger, Fred asked, “What's that supposed to be?”

Tadashi glanced at it and shrugged. “I dunno. A bird or something. Anyway, Callaghan showed me these and asked for my opinion on the designs.” There was a touch of pride in his voice that made Fred want to hug him forever. “Wanted a fresh set of eyes.”

“Ni-ice.” When Tadashi set aside the folder, Fred remembered his initial purpose. “Oh yeah, so when you said Hiro was 'better than he was', what'd that mean?”

“Oh.” Tadashi grinned like he was thinking of a private joke. “He was having some trouble earlier. A lot of trouble. Too many paper balls, not enough solid ideas. Almost dented the desk banging his head on it.”

“Ohhh.” Fred nodded sagely. “Writer's block. Er, roboticist's block. Something's blocked, anyway. But he got past it?”

“Took some serious pep-talking, but I think he's on to something now,” Tadashi said proudly.

“I am all about the pep-talking,” Fred said. “You need any help hyping him up, just ask.”

“Thanks. Though... now that you mention it...” Tadashi looked thoughtful. “C'mon, let's go talk to the others. I have an idea.”

Mystified, Fred followed him out to the main lab area, where their friends were still busy. Well, Gogo looked busy, anyway. Honey was showing a wide-eyed Wasabi something cool at her workstation. Fred wasn't sure what it was, but it involved what looked like writhing grayish-black tentacles bursting forth from a narrow-necked flask. The noise of distress that Wasabi was making barely sounded human, and Honey's smile beneath her goggles was nothing short of maniacal.

“Do I even want to know? Tadashi asked.

“Maybe later, from a neutral party,” Gogo said dryly, scowling over an experimental bike wheel. “So what's up? You don't come out here unless you're done, you have something to tell us, or we rig the speakers to blast 'Uptown Funk'.”

“It's more like a request-slash-invitation... thing.” Tadashi shifted a little on his feet. “To all of you, of course.”

Honey lifted her goggles back. “I'm listening!” she said brightly. “What do you need?”

“Well, Hiro's starting on his project for his application,” Tadashi began. “And I know whatever he comes up with will be, well, genius, but this is incredibly important to him, so... what would you guys say to coming by and giving him some input? Maybe some moral support?”

Honey squealed with delight, drowning out Wasabi's answer. Gogo looked thoughtful.

“Me too, right?” Fred asked, just to be sure. Usually they brushed him off when he tried to offer input.

“I did say moral support.” Tadashi flashed a quick fond smile at him that made Fred forget a few times tables. “Who knows? Maybe he'll need a rubber duck.”

Fred stood a little straighter.

“Question.” Gogo raised her hand. “What do you _really_ want us there for?”

“Huh?” Tadashi blinked owlishly at her.

“Well, you got him this far,” Wasabi pointed out before she could specify. “What can we do that you can't?”

“What he said,” Gogo added.

Tadashi raised an eyebrow. “Besides the fact that meeting you was part of what convinced him that the nerd lab was cool?”

“Actually it was probably mostly Callaghan,” Fred stage-whispered. Tadashi elbowed him none too gently.

“Fred's got a point,” Wasabi admitted. “Which is a sentence I never thought I'd use. Is there really anything _we_ can do?”

For a moment Tadashi seemed to shrink a little in embarrassment. Fred crossed his arms and leaned over to press his shoulder against Tadashi's briefly, hoping the gesture was ambiguous enough to not arouse suspicion. Catching sight of his boyfriend's quick grateful expression, Fred tried to maintain his poker face and not blush.

“Well... make him comfortable, I guess,” Tadashi said at length. “He's a little wary around people he doesn't know, so it'd be great if you guys could come hang out, be yourselves, give him less of a reason to be. And I trust you guys, so-”

He was cut off when Honey sprang forward to yank him into a hug – and okay, yeah, Fred kind of understood why Tadashi was so quick to claim the boyfriend title when Miranda glomped him. It wasn't that he was annoyed or mad at Honey by any stretch – she was a hugger and that was how she was and they all loved her for it – but a big part of him longed to pull Tadashi into his own hug and tell her no, my boyfriend, get your own.

“You are such a good big brother!” Honey exclaimed. “I'd _love_ to help and I can't wait to see your house and talk to your brother again _ooooh_ , when do you want us to come?”

“Uh, weekends I guess?” Tadashi hung awkwardly in Honey's embrace, too squashed to return it properly, and wriggled a little to hug her back until Honey finally released him. Fred felt him surreptitiously reach over to touch his wrist, and imagined hooking his pinky to Tadashi's and pulling his hand into a loose clasp. _Later, big guy,_ he reminded himself. _When you finally break it to them, it'll all be worth it_.

“Well, count me in.” Gogo's voice almost startled him. “It'll be cool. Wasabi, how about you?”

“I'll clear my schedule,” he called over, sidling cautiously away from the mess on Honey's lab table.

A ripple of excitement ran through Fred, and he burned energy by hopping a little in place. Six years of knowing the guy and he was finally going to meet Tadashi's aunt, see his house, hang out – this was going to be so freaking cool. After years of hearing about them, he couldn't wait to see them.

Provided he made a good impression, of course.

 _Oh my God, what if his aunt doesn't like me._ Quickly he squashed the thought. Tadashi had said that Caroline reminded him of his aunt, and he got along great with Caroline, didn't he?

Nervousness and excitement made him hyper for the rest of the day.

* * *

Fred couldn't avoid running into Caroline as he left his neighborhood, of course. He was riding shotgun in one of his parents' lower-key cars, and when Heathcliff pulled up to the kiosk to wait for Caroline to open the gate, she appeared at the window with a cheerful “Busy day, honey-bunch?”

Fred smiled, shaking his head. Caroline was sort of like how other people said moms were – she always seemed to know what was up. If Fred didn't know any better, he would swear Heathcliff was reporting to her or something. But nah – Heathcliff reported stuff to the 'rents, not the gate lady. Didn't mean they weren't in cahoots, though. Nobody could fuss like those two.

“I'm meeting his aunt, sorta-kinda,” he answered. “I say sorta-kinda because she doesn't know about stuff.”

Caroline tutted. “The way you're dressed, she'll _never_ figure it out. Tell me you combed your hair, sweet pea.”

“I did.”

“You did not,” she said flatly. “Sakes alive, it's a good thing you're a sweetheart. Here-” She passed a tupperware to Heathcliff, who handed it to Fred. “Lemon squares. Share 'em with your man, you hear?”

Fred felt his face warm. “Yeah. Thanks, Caroline.”

“No joke, honey, that one's a keeper!” he heard her call as Heathcliff drove through the open gate. Fred laughed again until his sides ached. As if he needed her to tell him that.

Heathcliff dropped him off two blocks away from the Lucky Cat Cafe. Fred stood bouncing on the balls of his feet for a moment, nerving himself before starting down the sidewalk. With Caroline's lemon squares tucked under his arm, he jogged half a block, slowed again, and finally found his way to the front garage door, which stood partially open. Dithering nervously for a moment, he finally knocked on it.

The door opened the rest of the way, forcing him to scoot back. Tadashi stepped out, grinning. “Hey, you're the first one here.”

Fred brightened. “I beat Wasabi?”

“By a hair – here he comes now.” Tadashi nodded toward something over Fred's shoulder, and he turned to see their friend's van pull up to the sidewalk. Both front doors opened, and Wasabi and Honey Lemon stepped out. Pranced out, in Honey's case.

“Aaaand Gogo's last,” Fred heard Wasabi mutter. “Irony.”

“She called ahead,” Tadashi told him. “Work ran late, but she'll be here in about five or ten minutes.”

Fred was already inside, having a look around. Nice place. Hiro was in the garage, absorbed in sketched-out designs that he'd drawn on graph paper. Curious, Fred sidled in for a closer look. As he stepped up behind Hiro to lean over his shoulder, his foot came down on the floor louder than he had intended.

Hiro started.

It was almost too small a reaction to be noticeable – just a twitch that was barely big enough to be called a flinch. For a split second, Fred met Hiro's eyes and was half-convinced the kid was about to bolt. After the moment passed, a gap-toothed grin spread across Hiro's face, but there was something wary in Hiro's eyes, like he was staring at a large dog and trying to judge how close was too close to dodge if it tried to bite him.

After three years participating in Brothers From Other Mothers, Fred knew a bullied kid when he saw one. He tried to remember – had Hiro looked like this when they'd first met at SFIT? – but his memory failed him. The sudden urge to hug washed over him before he took a figurative sledgehammer to the tension.

“So whatcha makin'?”

Hiro blinked, and the wariness was either hidden or gone when he next opened his eyes.

That was when Honey and Wasabi joined them, greeting Hiro cheerfully – they must not have noticed his reaction. Tadashi squeezed through to stand with his brother. Said tiny munchkin stood a little straighter when Tadashi was next to him and – yeah, that was adorable. Fred had to wonder if Hiro even realized he was doing it.

Equally cute was Hiro's somewhat halting intro, which Gogo barely arrived in time for. Fred couldn't help feeling a little impatient when she rolled in with a casual apology right when Hiro was getting started. But as Hiro went on with it, Fred had to hide a grin. Kid could use a class or two in public speaking. He was a little squirrelly about it, hemming and hawing over the designs he had spread out over the desk, constantly looking to Tadashi uncertainly. Finally Gogo, snapping a gum bubble between her teeth, stepped forward to jab her finger at one spot on one of the designs (it looked pretty much the same to Fred as all the other spots).

“So how're they gonna orient when they link up?” she asked bluntly. “Second question – how're you controlling them? Get enough of those together to do something really impressive, and you'll have too much for most conventional controls to handle.”

Hiro blinked, left off worrying at his lip, and answered, “I'm thinking a neuro-cranial transmitter.”

“That is literally the coolest thing I have ever heard a fourteen-year-old say,” Fred blurted. “I mean, that's brain-controlled robots right there. Anybody ever read issue forty-seven of _NeuroJumper_? That's the one with the bionic spider on it.” Gogo elbowed him, and he politely ignored her request. “That's one way to make it cooler, though. Bionic spider. Is that a thing you can do?”

Hiro was staring at him, looking caught between mild bewilderment and thoughtful consideration.

“Yes, all of Fred's suggestions are like that,” Tadashi explained, with a quick fond look in Fred's direction.

“Was gonna happen to you eventually,” Gogo muttered.

“It's something you get used to, I think,” Honey added delicately.

“You tune it out,” Wasabi spoke up. “Like bad pop on the radio, or people who use the restroom without washing their hands.”

“Hey, I have  _ great _ ideas,” Fred sniffed at them disdainfully. “Technology just hasn't caught up yet. I'm ahead of my time, like Galileo. Besides,  _ you're _ the ones with no imagination.”

“Not what you said about my laser grid.”

“That was before I found out you weren't harnessing them into lightsabers!”

“That is the  _ worst _ idea,” Wasabi spluttered, in a tone that suggested he was only half-convinced of what he was saying.

“No, no, he's on to something.” Gogo looked thoughtful. “I can finish my bike, and we can joust with them.”

“That is  _ definitely _ the worst idea!”

“Gogo, do you think the vehicular design labs would let us use their space?” Honey piped up excitedly.

“Ooh, I could make that happen!” Fred offered. “I know a guy who knows a guy.”

“Oh my God, you guys, we are not lightsaber-jousting with my honors thesis!”

Fred sneaked a glance at Hiro, and noted with satisfaction the change that the kid had gone through. After a lot of twitching over his words, staring at the floor or Tadashi, and stammering like he wasn't used to presenting his work like this, Hiro was finally laughing along with the rest of them. A casual glance to the side told him Tadashi was noticing it too.

He caught his boyfriend's eye and winked. Tadashi gave him the kind of smile that could probably make flowers bloom.

 


	14. Mischief

By the time evening rolled around, Hiro was having an extremely civilized argument with Wasabi about physics, which Gogo kept out of. Arguing with Wasabi about physics had once been the worst mistake she'd ever made, and considering most of her past choices, that was saying something. The end result had been a mild threat of dismissal, and both Wasabi and Honey Lemon refusing to speak with her for almost a week. Well, that and the couple hundred dollars' worth of property damage, but that was whatever. Property damage always happened whenever Gogo did anything worth talking about.

Hiro seemed to be holding his own without cobbled-together live demonstrations, though, and Fred had brought lemon squares.

_Really, really good_ lemon squares.

“God damn, dude.” She lowered her voice so the tiny little bean wouldn't hear – Tadashi would probably throttle her for swearing in front of him, which was cute, if a little futile. If Hiro had graduated high school at thirteen, then he'd probably been hearing much worse since before his first voice-crack.”These things are delicious. I don't even _like_ lemon squares, where'd you get them?”

“Uhh...” Suddenly Fred looked shifty, which was interesting. But before Gogo could start interrogating him, Tadashi came jumping to his rescue.

“Caroline, right? That lady down the street from you?”

“Yeah.” Fred grabbed the lifeline Tadashi threw him and – there he went again with the sappy looks. “She ran into me and threw baked goods at my face.”

Gogo bit into another lemon square to hide her surprise. First of all, Fred had neighbors, which kind of threatened the lives-under-a-bridge theory she'd been holding. Second of all, apparently Tadashi was familiar with said neighbors now. Knowing where the guy lived was one thing – being on first name basis with sweet old baker ladies in his neighborhood was another thing entirely.

As if summoned by the mention of baked goods, Cass Hamada stepped into the garage with a plate of cookies balanced in her hands. She was still in a cafe apron, and a few flyaway strands of hair were in her face, but she swept in with a smile and placed the tray down in their midst. As Gogo watched, Hiro immediately abandoned the debate to pounce on them, while Tadashi bounded up from his seat.

“Hey, guys, this is our Aunt Cass,” he announced. “Please be polite, I've been telling her nice things about you, and my aunt didn't raise a liar.”

Gogo threw her a lazy salute, Honey bounced up to hug her hello, and Wasabi stepped forward for a very polite handshake. Introductions were exchanged, and Hiro seemed to tune them out and split his attention between his cookie and his designs. With a glance at Fred, Gogo could practically smell the nervousness on him as he greeted his boyfriend's aunt with a little wave and a “Hiya, I'm Fred.”

Cass Hamada, who had received their different introductions with the same cheery welcome, stopped short. “ _You're_ Fred?”

For a split second, Fred looked faintly alarmed. “Uh. Yeah?”

The woman's face lit up even brighter, if that was possible, and she offered a much more enthusiastic handshake than Wasabi had. “You know, I've heard quite a lot about you. It's wonderful to finally meet you.”

Fred let her pump his hand up and down, wearing a slightly dazed expression, before breaking out in a relieved grin. “Thanks, likewise.” His relief was powerful enough for Gogo to feel secondhand.

Still, it might not hurt to take a little of the attention off of him. Gogo raised her hand. “Okay, so – awkward name-related question.”

Cass smiled at her with warm amusement. “I'm their mother's sister.”

“...Oh.” Gogo blinked. “Yeah, still confused.”

“I had my last name changed nine or ten years ago,” Cass went on. “It turns out teachers don't hassle kids as much when their last names match the ones on their permission slips.”

“Ms. Hightower was being unreasonable,” Tadashi muttered.

“You shouldn't have chewed her out,” Hiro muttered to his aunt through a mouthful of cookie. “She called me by your old last name like it was an accident, but I'm pretty sure she was just being spiteful.”

It was almost too quick for Gogo to catch, but something dangerous flickered in Cass's eyes. “You never told me she did that,” she said calmly.

Hiro shrugged. “Water under the bridge.”

“Please don't seek bloody revenge,” Tadashi sighed. “I mean, you could at least delegate it to me.”

Cass patted his shoulder fondly. “Sweetie, I'm not your mom, but I _am_ a stand-in. Making it my job to quietly murder anyone who gives you a hard time, hurts you, or breaks your heart.”

Next to Gogo, Fred choked on a piece of cookie. Obligingly she patted him on the back.

“I will keep that in mind,” Tadashi said dryly.

“Good.” His aunt beamed. 'I'm off now, sorry I can't stay long. It was lovely to meet you all.”

“You too!” Honey piped up. Cass Hamada swept out of the room again, leaving a faintly bewildered silence in her wake.

“Dude,” Gogo spoke up, breaking the pause. “Your aunt is _awesome_.”

* * *

There was very little practical help that Fred could offer, but that was neither here nor there. In that respect, he and Honey Lemon were in the same boat; she was a science nerd on par with the best of them, but Hiro's project didn't have an awful lot to do with chemistry.

Still, it was fun enough just to sit back and watch, shoot off comments here and there, and generally enjoy the show. It took another week for Hiro to work past the conceptual stuff before he could put his idea into practice. There was a lot of arguing and pastry consumption involved, at least when Fred was there. They weren't always together, depending on their schedules; sometimes only a few of them had space on their agendas to get together and shoot the breeze. But on the following Saturday, they all were. Tadashi had set up a large folding card table by the couch in the middle of the garage for snack purposes. Fred spent much of his time on the couch during his visits, watching from afar like Sir Richard Attenborough or something. He tried to narrate at one point, until Wasabi complained.

And it _was_ interesting to watch. He'd observed once that Tadashi worked in fits and starts, alternating between helpless frustration and nonstop, almost manic determination in the moments that inspiration seized him. Hiro seemed to be firmly in the second step at the moment, and according to Tadashi he had spent some time agonizing over a lack of ideas, so that particular creative process did run in the family, apparently. Hiro's looked more methodical, though – he'd truck along, hit a roadblock, and then chip away at it, sometimes from several different angles, until it was gone. And then he'd truck along again until the next problem showed up.

It was, in Fred's humble opinion, seriously cool. It was fascinating to watch Tadashi work, but with Hiro it was equal parts impressive and adorable, kind of like that one video of a cat playing Jenga.

“Calling it now,” he remarked at one point, when Hiro was finally preparing to run his first microbot prototype out of the 3D printer. “You're gonna be _the_ most popular kid when you start going to SFIT.”

“I haven't gotten in yet,” Hiro pointed out.

“It's in the bag, I think,” Fred scoffed. “Not the point. They're gonna love you, dude. Seriously, they're gonna think you're the coolest.”

“That's not what most people say.” Hiro frowned over the printer he was programming.

“What do they usually say?” Fred asked. Tadashi gave him a warning look from halfway across the room, and he longed to take the question back.

If Hiro was bothered by it, he didn't show it. “Oh, y'know.” He shrugged. “'Kindergarten's that way.' 'I'm not getting tutored by a third-grader, somebody shoot me.' Oh, and 'shut the fuck up' is a popular one.”

“Hiro,” Tadashi said warningly.

“Doesn't count as swearing if I'm quoting,” Hiro called back without looking up. “Oh, and 'girls won't like you if you're too smart,' that was another one.”

“I like to think of comments like that as really loud, wet farts,” Fred said. “They come from the same place anyway.” Hiro didn't stop laughing until tears started to come out, and Fred allowed himself a smug smile.

About a minute later, Tadashi slid into the seat next to him, leaning in to speak close by his ear. “Really, Fred?”

“Hey, he laughed, didn't he?” Fred murmured back. “Genius or no genius, he's fourteen and toilet humor's the height of comedy.”

None of the others were looking as Tadashi sneaked a quick kiss to Fred's temple. “Thanks, Fred,” he whispered.

Fred smiled brightly at him. “What for?”

“Oh, y'know. Being yourself. Making him feel safe.”

“Hey, you know me.” Fred shrugged. “I'm about as intimidating as a baby sea otter. It's what I do best.”

Tadashi was giving him a funny look, one that wasn't quite a smile but was pretty close, close enough to make Fred glow a little on the inside. Then he looked away, laughing a little.

“What?” Fred asked.

“It's funny,” Tadashi mused. “I never thought I'd be this grateful to someone for throwing me in a dumpster.”

Fred's grin widened, and he cycled through possible answers. A kiss or leaning his head on Tadashi's shoulder would have been perfect if not for discretion's sake. So, instead, he did his best Julie Andrews impression. “When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window.”

“Don't sell yourself short. Meeting you wasn't opening a window, it was bulldozing the entire front wall.”

It was Fred's turn to laugh. Honey was wandering over, so Fred dropped his voice when he answered, “Love you too, Tadpole.”

* * *

It took until the third week into August for boredom to start setting in.

Fred hadn't thought it would ever set in at all; it never did at the lab. But then, at the lab, there were at least three different cool things to look at, more if he decided to wander away from his friends and check out what the other students were working on. But here, he was watching the progress of a single project, and things didn't always move quickly. There were slow stretches, and slow stretches brought boredom, and boredom meant trouble with a two-story capital T.

Currently, he was sitting with Tadashi on the couch, behind the card table, as Hiro fussed around with his neuro-transmitter design. Fred marveled at the fact that a headset that let you control robots with your mind would be boring, but it was a lot less fun as equations on paper than it was in real life. He tried to pay attention, he really did, but his mind kept straying – to Tadashi, to their knees touching under the table, to the last couple of times that Tadashi had managed to peel himself away from Hiro's side and spend an evening at Fred's. Very, very distracting thoughts. That, combined with boredom, was a recipe for mischief. After all, no one was paying attention, and the table pretty much hid them below the ribs.

Casually, Fred reached over and rested his hand on Tadashi's knee.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tadashi glance at him in surprise, and resisted the urge to smirk. He waited until Tadashi turned away again to listen to the ramble coming from Hiro, and gave a gentle squeeze. Tadashi glanced at him again, but Fred pretended to keep focus on Hiro. Then, when Tadashi's attention strayed again, he ran his hand idly along the top of his thigh.

By now Tadashi had turned back to Hiro and the others, but he felt tense, shifting in his seat as Fred caressed his leg again. Smiling innocently, Fred slipped his hand to the side and stroked Tadashi's inner thigh.

His boyfriend squirmed slightly at his touch. Fred paused, wondering if that was a please-stop-touching-me squirm or a please-keep-touching-me squirm. Tadashi wasn't glaring at him or anything, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. He repeated the motion, this time letting his hand skim lightly over Tadashi's crotch.

Without turning his head, without even a twitch to his expression, Tadashi smacked his hand away. Fred felt his face burn with embarrassment when his boyfriend turned to raise a disapproving eyebrow at him and scoot a couple of inches away.

Pouting a little, Fred sat on his hands.

* * *

Gogo did not know what was going on under that table, and she didn't want to know.

* * *

Fred tried not to pout again when Tadashi eventually got up and left the couch, then strode out of the room entirely. Mentally he kicked himself as he watched Tadashi leave. It had been a dumb thing to do, and he'd be lucky if Tadashi wasn't a little mad at him for it.

Less than a minute later Tadashi came strolling back in to sit back down. He didn't come back to the couch with Fred; instead, he grabbed one of the chairs halfway across the room. Turning it, he sat down in it backwards the way Gogo sometimes did, leaning forward over the back rest, almost facing Fred but turned slightly away. There was a lollipop in his hand, which he unwrapped with a fleeting glance toward Fred.

Fred stared back at him, slightly baffled. Had Tadashi just winked at him?

The lollipop was bright reddish-pink, probably strawberry or watermelon or something. As Fred watched, Tadashi parted his lips to the absolute minimum required, and slowly slid the lollipop into his mouth.

Fred gaped, barely self-aware enough to keep his mouth closed. To all appearances, Tadashi was paying close attention to the conversation between Hiro and Honey about brain chemistry, but Fred could only watch the lollipop's progress in faint awe.

Tadashi took it out of his mouth again, running his tongue around his lips as if savoring the sweetness clinging to them. Then, with his eyes half-closed, he laved his tongue over the candy, twirling the stick between his thumb and forefinger. The lollipop spun against his tongue, and Fred carefully crossed one leg over the other. The tip of Tadashi's tongue flicked slightly, and he slid it fully into his mouth. He sucked on it with a little hum of pleasure.

If this was revenge for Fred copping a feel under the table, then he was doing a very very good job of it.

Rapt, Fred watched Tadashi repeat the motions, slipping the candy in and out of his barely-open mouth, stroking his tongue against it, and sometimes – very rarely and very quietly – adding little pleased noises. Fred heard a slurp from halfway across the room and surprised himself with a tiny, almost inaudible whine. Quickly he pressed his fist to his mouth and glanced around to make sure no one had noticed.

* * *

Gogo was not seeing this. She was absolutely not seeing her friend drive her other friend to a sexually frustrated distraction by fellating a lollipop. She was seeing nothing. It was not happening.

* * *

Tadashi glanced at Fred, as if noticing him for the first time. The lollipop slipped out of his mouth with a faint but audible pop. When Tadashi smiled at him, Fred could see that the candy was starting to stain his lips pink.

_ Okay forget it he wins. _ Fred stood up, almost knocking over the table in his haste. “Hey, who wants pizza? I could go for pizza. Hey Tadashi, come help me order pizza.” Part of him was fully prepared to pull him along, but Tadashi jumped up from his seat with a smug little smile, stowing that goddamn lollipop in the empty cup he'd been using to drink soda. He caught up to Fred at the door, and Fred waited until they were fully inside the house with several walls between them and the others before speaking.

“Where's private?” he asked.

“Spare room down the hall.” Tadashi jerked his head and led the way. “Noon on a Saturday, Aunt Cass'll be pretty swamped.”

There was a door to it – thank God there was a door, though Fred probably would have settled for the exposure of the living room if it had been the only option. At the moment his priorities were just a tad bit skewed. It was sort of small, full of bookshelves and old boxes and one small couch, more like a storage room than a spare room but whatever, just  _ whatever _ . 

“Was that too much?” Tadashi asked once the door was closed. He sounded amused. “After having you feel me up under the table, I figured-”

Fred took that as an invitation to turn around and interrupt him with a kiss so eager that he pressed Tadashi's back against the closed door. Tadashi returned it hungrily, and Fred's tongue flicked out for a taste of sugar and watermelon on Tadashi's mouth.

“You are _such a jerk_ ,” he said when he came up for air, before pressing lips to the corner of Tadashi's jaw.

“You're the one who couldn't keep your hands to yourself,” Tadashi snickered. “Little ham-fisted there, that's all I'm saying.”

“Got bored,” Fred admitted, nuzzling his neck lightly. “Usually I'm _excellent_ at seduction.”

“Oh, really? What're you gonna do, Mr. English Major? Quote Shakespeare at me?”

Fred paused, pulled back, and raised what he hoped was a teasing eyebrow at him. “Are you saying that would work?”

For a moment Tadashi stared back incredulously. “No- no way. I don't believe you. There's no way you can quote Shakespeare.”

“I do love nothing in the world so well as you,” Fred replied. “Is not that strange?”

“No – no way,” Tadashi spluttered, but he was turning red and it was spreading to his ears and Fred was feeling very, very pleased with himself. “You did not just – did you make that up? Is that actually Shakespeare?”

“Much Ado About Nothing.” Fred grinned mischievously. “I should show you the Kenneth Branagh movie sometime.”

“Okay, I was so sure you were gonna spout 'Wherefore art thou Tadashi' or something.”

Fred pulled a face. “Tadpole no, if I'm gonna seduce you with Shakespeare I'm not going for Romeo and Juliet, that is the _worst_.”

Tadashi was laughing again, and Fred swallowed it with another kiss.

* * *

The boys were gone for at least twice as long as it should have taken to order pizza, Gogo noted idly. And when they did come back, Fred's shirt was caught in his fly, Tadashi's hair was mussed, and his breath smelled like he'd chewed through an entire box of Altoids.

At least he ate the rest of his fucking lollipop like a civilized human being.

 


	15. Enjoy the Calm

“Good reading, then, I take it?”

Tadashi actually jumped at least four inches off his chair, startled out of a very deep reverie. Flailing a little, he sent a few of the papers he had been studying fluttering off the desk and onto the floor. “What?” Bewildered, he did a double-take over his shoulder to find his professor standing in the doorway to his lab station, looking caught between an apology and a stifled laugh.

“Sorry, Mr. Hamada, I didn't mean to startle you.” As Tadashi slipped out of his chair to retrieve the scattered papers, he heard Callaghan cross the room and stoop to help. “I promise you, if I'd known you were so engrossed, I would have knocked.”

“It's fine.” Tadashi relieved a little bit of his embarrassment with a sheepish laugh. “I was just... _really_ interested. Fascinated, even.”

Callaghan glanced at the papers before handing them back to Tadashi. “Ah, the folder I gave you. I'm glad you find it so... riveting.”

“It's not just that.” Tadashi leafed through them to put them back in order before placing them in with the others. “It's... it's _amazing_. Is this something _you're_ working on?”

“It's not my original design,” his professor replied. “It's something of an ongoing project for me, on someone else's behalf.”

“Instantaneous matter transportation,” Tadashi murmured. Speaking up, he added, “If you get a device like this to work, it'd _revolutionize_... well...” He paused, considering. “Everything, I think.”

“Hm,” Callaghan gave a noncommittal nod, which spoke of a level of modesty that Tadashi couldn't begin to fathom. “I've been seeking second opinions on it, but for certain reasons it's been difficult. A few of my goals are a little over the heads of some of my colleagues.”

“It's pretty far over my head, too,” Tadashi admitted, embarrassed. “I can get the gist of it, though.”

“Comprehension isn't the only issue,” Callaghan said with a shrug. “Vision is, too. Too many voices that might say 'you can't.' But-” He flashed a quick, proud little smile at Tadashi. “In the past few years, I've never known you to be one of them.”

Tadashi stood straighter, glowing a little. “W-well... I mean, that's why I'm here, isn't it? At SFIT.” He shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. “There are things I want to do, and if I can't learn how to make them happen here, and from you, then... well, I'm out of luck.”

This brought a gratified chuckle out of Callaghan. “Thank you. That means a lot. But, on that note, did you notice anything, from your reading? Anything at all that jumps out at you?”

“The whole thing jumped out at me,” Tadashi replied. “It's all just... ridiculously genius. Or do you mean, like problems?”

Callaghan blinked. “Were there?”

“Not in the design,” Tadashi said. “I mean, maybe there were, but I couldn't find any. The whole thing looked pretty sound to me. ...Theoretically.”

Callaghan's eyebrow shot up, but to Tadashi's relief he looked intrigued, not annoyed. “But in practice?”

“I feel like it moves a little quickly, I guess.” Tadashi furrowed his brow, considering how to put his thoughts into words. “I mean, in the section on testing the device, it goes from calculating possible effects on inanimate materials, straight to designing a pod for human testing.” Callaghan's eyes narrowed thoughtfully, and he went on. “If it were me, I'd run way more tests before trying to send a person through. Probably design some kind of sensor that might simulate the effects on the human body. Also, I think the testing parameters are _way_ too wide. I'm pretty sure a margin of error like that would allow for way too many anomalies. Can – can I be frank?”

His professor held up an inviting hand. “By all means.”

“You'd find more responsible engineering and testing processes on an episode of _Mythbusters_ than on this.” Tadashi smiled wryly. “It's an incredible idea, and I'm pretty sure the science is sound, just... you might want to tell your friend to be a bit more careful when people are involved.”

For a moment he thought he might have said something wrong. Something flitted across Callaghan's face too quickly for Tadashi to identify, and his professor's expression turned stony. But before Tadashi could backtrack, it was quickly replaced by the thoughtful look from before.

“Hm.” Callaghan nodded. “Thank you, Mr. Hamada. That's very helpful.”

“It is?” Tadashi tried not to sound too relieved.

“More than you know.” Callaghan smiled gratefully at him. “To be honest, I had also noted a few of those problems. But, seeing as this is something of a personal project, I just had to be sure that my conclusion wasn't biased. Would you mind if I took that folder back?”

“Of course. It's yours, after all.” Tadashi gathered it up and passed it to him. “Thanks for trusting me with it, I guess.”

“Few better. How's your brother coming along?”

Tadashi brightened. “Great. The end's in sight, actually. He'll be done with it soon.”

“I can't wait to see it. I have high hopes. It would be a pleasure to teach another Hamada.” Callaghan tucked the folder under his arm, then reached over and straightened the cap on Tadashi's head. “Wish him luck for me. And thank you again for your help.” He left the room, leaving Tadashi's morale skyrocketing for the rest of the day.

* * *

The headset was in place. Five college students waited on bated breath as Hiro focused on the small pile of microbots. His hand twitched, and the robots jumped. Before their eyes, the microbots rippled, climbed each other like army ants, and formed a small, neat cube. Hiro's teeth showed in a grin, and the cube rippled again to reform into a pyramid.

Honey cheered, Wasabi whooped, and Gogo gave Hiro a light punch to the shoulder. Fred took advantage of the distraction to kiss Tadashi on the cheek.

“You finished it!” Honey jostled Hiro excitedly by the shoulders.

“Not quite,” Hiro said with a grin. He took off the headset, a metal helmet-like device, and the microbots collapsed. “I've been messing around with the transmitter design, and I'm pretty sure I can make it smaller. I'll probably have to make some more microbots, too – for when I do a demonstration at the showcase.”

Fred leaned in eagerly. “How many more?”

“Well, I haven't decided on an exact number yet, but... I dunno. Enough to fill a bin, I guess.” Hiro shrugged. “Enough to make an impression.”

“Dude. _Dude_.” Fred slung an arm over Hiro's shoulders. “Listen to me. You don't want to 'make an impression,' trust me. Everybody 'makes an impression.' I jump around in a lizard costume, _that_ 'makes an impression.' You want to blow their friggin' _minds_ , dude. Seriously, just ask Gogo.”

“He-ck yeah.” Gogo's smile was equal parts wolfish and fondly nostalgic.

“Except don't break five windows and compromise the internal structure of a faculty storage facility,” Wasabi added.

Gogo had herself a chuckle. “Man, when I was done they didn't know whether to give me a scholarship or academic probation.”

“In fact,” Wasabi went on. “Don't ask Gogo. Or listen to Fred for that matter.”

“I dunno,” Tadashi spoke up thoughtfully. “I mean, I _did_ say you'll want to blow Callaghan away. And Hiro, you're good at sneaking up and getting people's attention.”

“Oh, yeah,” Hiro said with a knowing grin. “That's my specialty right there.” He paused, eyes narrowing thoughtfully. “I bet if I made enough of them, I could divide them up and cache them around the auditorium, then call them to the stage. That way I'd get people's attention from all over the place.”

“Ooh, ooh!” Fred's eyes lit up. “You could make, like, a huge tower of microbots. Or put 'em up in the shape of a _giant_ microbot! Or you could microbot-surf! And then crowd-surf. Crowd-surfing is _always_ a good idea. What do you think?”

“I think,” Hiro's brow furrowed. “I think I have some planning to do.” He glanced up. “I might need some help with the execution, though. Could you guys give me a hand?”

For a moment, Tadashi's brain was host to a one-man mental victory dance. It showed in the grin splitting his face, and he felt the sudden urge to grab his brother in a headlock and give him the noogie of his life. _I told you you could make friends, didn't I tell you so?_

But no, this was about Hiro, not about him being right.

“I'd be happy to, little man.” Wasabi gently tousled Hiro's hair, and Tadashi inwardly sighed with relief when Hiro looked pleased but embarrassed instead of embarrassed and irritated.

“Count me in!” Honey added.

Gogo raised her finger lazily. “Same.”

“This is gonna be _so cool_.” Fred bounced a little, jostling Hiro in the process.

A knock on the wall turned their attention to the door leading to the inside of the house. Aunt Cass stood there, her apron slung loosely over her shoulder, looking exhausted. “Hey guys,” she said with a tired smile. “Sorry to interrupt, but it's past midnight and I'm about to turn in. Don't let me rush you, it's just a heads-up.”

Tadashi winced. “Sorry, Aunt Cass, we must've lost track of time.”

“Got a lot done, though,” Hiro said proudly.

Their aunt's tired eyes lit up. “Really? Lemme see before I go.”

As Hiro showed off the microbots to Aunt Cass, Tadashi felt Fred sidle closer to sit with him on the couch. Honey seated herself on his other side, and Gogo came scooting closer as well.

“I hope you're not worried,” Honey said _sotto voce_. “Because Hiro has this in the bag.”

“Seriously,” Gogo added. “At this point he could probably blow his nose on Callaghan's sleeve and the guy would hand-write him an acceptance letter anyway.”

“Didn't you say this project's based on one of Callaghan's inventions?” Fred added. “If nothing else, the flattery factor should earn him some extra brownie points. I mean, not that he _needs_ them, but Callaghan'll get a kick out of it, and that's cool.”

“I'm not worried,” Tadashi told them, blinking in confusion. “Do I look worried?”

“It's your little bro, Tadashi,” Gogo explained. “You get all weird and jittery when he's involved.”

“I do _not_ -”

Further discussion was cut off by an enthusiastic whoop from Aunt Cass that belied her apparent weariness. Tadashi looked over just in time to see her pull Hiro into an embrace and plant a kiss on his cheek, ignoring his embarrassed protests by drowning them with an _“I'm so proud of you!_ ” _._

“”Well, like I said, I'm off,” she said at length, squeezing Hiro one last time. “Unless anyone needs to stay over. The spare room's a little cluttered, but I can bring down spare linens and make up the living room for guests.”

Almost immediately a chorus of polite protests rose from Tadashi's friends. Waving to her, Tadashi pitched his voice above the rest. “I've got this, Aunt Cass,” he assured her. “Go ahead and sleep, I'll take care of them.”

She shot him a grateful look. “Thanks, sweetie. Good night, everyone.” Aunt Cass left the room with answering “goodnights”s ringing in her wake.

“I'll be honest,” Wasabi said once she was gone. “This ran a little longer than I thought. I'm not sure I really trust myself to drive home like this. Sorry, Honey Lemon.” He looked sheepishly to Honey, who was swallowing a yawn.

“Perfectly all right.” She smiled at him, then at Tadashi with a hopeful look. “If it's all right with you, Tadashi?”

“Of course. Do you even need to ask?”

Gogo fistpumped triumphantly, if a little sleepily. “Whoo. Slumber party, let's do this.”

“My bed's fine for whoever,” Hiro announced. “He was focusing on the transmitter again. “I'm gonna stay up. If I don't pull an all-nighter, I'll just crash down here.”

“You really shouldn't-” Tadashi began, but Hiro cut him off with obnoxious mumbling noises. “All right, fine, but don't come-” More obnoxious noises. “-crying to me-” Hiro loudly gargled spit. “-about cricks in your neck.”

“Uh-huh yeah,” Hiro said without looking up.

Tadashi rolled his eyes heavenward. “Living room's behind the cafe, our room's top floor. There's a spare room but it's pretty cramped and dusty. C'mon, I'll drag out the futons.”

Wasabi already had his toothbrush with him, in spite of his insistence that he hadn't planned on staying the night. He, Gogo, and Honey were settled first, with Wasabi and Gogo on the couches and Honey on a futon spread out on the floor. Fred caught his attention, eyes flickering toward the stairs, raising an eyebrow questioningly. Tadashi frowned suspiciously at him, and Fred blinked before giving him a scandalized look. Tadashi grinned, jerked his head toward the stairs, and led him out of the living room while the others bedded down for the night. Fred caught up to him on the stairs, slipping his hand into Tadashi's.

“Well,” Tadashi murmured when they reached the top of the steps. “This is my room. Well, mine and Hiro's. My part's behind the partition.”

“Nice,” Fred remarked. “Real homey.” He tilted his head. “Cool if I sleep with you? I mean literally.”

“Took the words out of my mouth.” Tadashi swallowed a yawn. “Let's keep it PG up here, please. I share this room with my brother, remember. It'd be weird to-” Fred kissed him. It was deep, long, and unhurried, with no expectations behind it except for kissing. Tadashi relaxed into it, drawing Fred close until his knees weakened and he sank down to sit at the end of his bed. Fred went with him, settling into his lap with a hum of contentment.

“This okay?” Fred asked when they parted.

Tadashi smiled softly, resting his forehead briefly against Fred's. “Yeah, this is fine. You want to borrow pajamas, or...?”

“Nah, I can sleep in my clothes.” Fred scooted out of his lap to let him up. Tadashi stood up to change, keenly aware of Fred's eyes on him. “By the way, how come you do that?”

Tadashi pulled his soft cotton sweatshirt over his head. “Do what?'

“That thing where whenever I kiss you, you sit down and pull me into your lap. It's happened almost every time now. I've kept track.”

Tadashi felt his cheeks warm as he sat down next to Fred again. “It's just a thing. My knees get all funny when you kiss me. If I didn't sit down, I'd probably stumble around like I'm drunk. Don't laugh.”

I'm not laughing,” Fred assured him, clearly holding back a laugh. “If it makes you feel better, when you kiss me I forget stuff like words and basic arithmetic.”

It was Tadashi's turn to hold back a laugh. “Really?”

“Yup. You make my brain stupid.” Fred paused briefly to yawn before toeing off his shoes and lying back. “Welp, I'm beat and I wanna cuddle.”

“Won't say no to that.” Tadashi scooted closer and curled up next to him. Fred's arms circled around him, tugging him closer until Tadashi's head was tucked into the crook of his neck. Slinging an arm over Fred's chest, Tadashi settled down comfortably.

It didn't take long for Fred to drift off, and Tadashi let the steady rise and fall of his chest lull him. His eyelids drooped, and he carefully angled his head to see Fred's face. A sudden rush of warmth made his breath catch in his throat, and he lowered his head again and shut his eyes in contentment.

It was entirely possible, he realized, that one of the others could wander upstairs. He doubted it, almost as much as he doubted that Hiro would actually go to sleep at a decent hour or bother to drag himself upstairs if he did. But it was possible, and more probable, that one of his friends might, and what surprised him was how little it bothered him.

And why should it? He was happy with Fred, and they were his friends. They'd been behind him from day one, so why would this change anything?

No, he had nothing to worry about there. Nothing at all.

Now, Hiro? Maybe that was another story.

Hiro had always treated Tadashi's love life the same way he had treated the rest of his social life: usually by ignoring it, pretending it wasn't a thing, or maybe whining a little when it dragged Tadashi out of the house. It was different now that he was older and had his own things going on, but still Tadashi had to wonder.

How was he going to tell Hiro?

High school dating was one thing, but this? This felt serious. Fred had become an even more important, vital part of his life than he had been before, and Tadashi was damned if he didn't want it to stay that way. It was going to come out eventually.

Aunt Cass might help – maybe he'd tell her first. Of course, she was still operating under the impression that he was seeing a girl, but that'd be easy to correct. It was slightly nerve-wracking to think about, but he really had no reason to think she'd mind. She was cool that way.

As for Hiro... well, Hiro liked Fred, and that would probably smooth over the whole guess-what-we're-dating thing. But just in case, he could wait. Why distract him with something like that when he was busy with his project?

The buzz of thoughts dulled with sleep, and Tadashi drifted off curled against Fred's side.

* * *

Gogo dozed off on the couch, only to wake up needing to pee. Carefully she untangled herself from her blanket and stumbled half-awake over Honey's sleeping form and out of the living room. It was dark and she was groggy, and somehow she got herself turned around and ended up at the foot of the stairs. Was there a bathroom upstairs? She couldn't remember.

Quietly she crept up the steps, furiously rubbing sleep out of her eyes, and somehow managed to avoid falling down the stairs. Her vision focused as she reached the top, and she found herself standing in a double bedroom divided by a partition, which stood open and–

Oh.

Whoops, wrong way.

The first thought through Gogo's head was _I didn't know Tadashi would be the little spoon._ Her second thought was _Oh thank God they both have clothes on._

Damn, they were cute though. Like sleepy kittens.

 _Idiots,_ she thought fondly. _They're not trying very hard to keep this low-key, are they._ Carefully, and as quietly as she could, Gogo gave the sliding frame an experimental nudge. It didn't rattle loudly, and neither of the boys even stirred, so she kept pushing until it was shut. She paused a moment longer to make sure she hadn't woken them up, before stealing back down the stairs.

Here she was, covering for them. She really ought to get paid for this.

* * *

Fred woke up to Tadashi's lips below his ear, moving along his jaw until they reached his mouth. Without opening his eyes, Fred smiled and tucked his arms around Tadashi's back to pull him close. Tadashi deepened the kiss with a quiet, sleepy hum, and Fred felt him cup his face and caress his cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“Nice morning breath,” he murmured against Tadashi's mouth. The soft answering huff of laughter woke him up further, and he opened his eyes to see Tadashi's face inches away, eyelids heavy with sleep, hair tousled.

Without warning, Fred flipped them over. Tadashi rolled with a little yelp of surprise until Fred lay on top of him, pressing his lips to the bridge of his nose right between his eyes. Beneath him Tadashi laughed and squirmed, trying to wrestle his way back on top, but Fred took advantage of his newfound knowledge by kissing the daylights out of him. Slowly, deliberately, kissing for the sake of kissing the same way he had the night before. Tadashi went still, relaxing and shivering with a soft moan. His hands wandered over Fred's back, finally sliding beneath the hem of his shirt to stroke against his bare skin. He didn't pull at clothing, or dig his nails in, or ask for more; he just touched. Fred broke the kiss to nuzzle into his neck and enjoy the petting. _This must be why cats purr_ , he thought.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“Let's tell them,” Tadashi replied, and Fred almost choked on the air he was breathing.

He pushed up with his hands on either side of Tadashi's head, until he hovered a few inches over him to see him eye to eye. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Tadashi grinned up at him. “I mean, not _right_ now. The showcase is almost here, it's Hiro's time to shine, but... well, like you said. I love you. I'm – I'm _happy_ being with you. We can't possibly lose anything by telling them. So let's do it. I want our friends to know we're together.”

Fred lowered himself to the mattress again, curled his arms around Tadashi to draw him into a full body hug, and buried his face in Tadashi's neck again. “After the showcase?” he asked.

“Once Hiro has that acceptance letter in his hand and we've celebrated properly.” Tadashi curled against him, letting Fred tuck his head in the curve of his neck and shoulder. “Day after, how's that sound?”

“It sounds perfect and you are also perfect,” Fred murmured. “I can't wait, Tadpole.”

They dawdled that way for as long as possible before noises downstairs drew them down in search of breakfast.

 


	16. All Good Things

 There wasn't much to be done at the lab on the day of the showcase. The entire building was abuzz with activity, decorations flung left and right for the open house – not as big an affair as the showcase itself in the auditorium, but there would be prospective students and sponsors dropping in, so it was necessary to pretty the place up a little and get everyone's respective ducks in a row.

For his part, Tadashi neatened his lab space and ran a few more tests on Baymax, but it was more to pass the time than anything else. Come evening he would have plenty of excitement, but for now he was restless. Nervous energy had him reorganizing his textbooks for at least the fiftieth time, give or take a few dozen. Maybe he could bring Baymax out to the showcase to make a few rounds in the auditorium – after Hiro's presentation, of course. Why steal his thunder?

“All set for the showcase?” At the sound of Callaghan's voice, Tadashi looked up with a smile. It was impossible not to; his professor had been in high spirits all day, and it was contagious. “I look forward to seeing your brother there, as well.”

“Oh, he'll be there,” Tadashi said with a broad grin. “I'll leave it at that, I don't want to spoil anything.”

“Goodness, I'll be sure not to miss it.” Callaghan clapped him casually on the shoulder. “You seem to be in a good mood, in any case.”

“Yeah...” Tadashi let it trail off there. “Days like this I wonder, how could I _not_ be? There's a lot to be excited about, I guess. I'm just... happy. I'm happy with where I am right now and how things are going.” He almost marveled at himself as he admitted it. “Just having one of those walking-on-sunshine days. If that makes sense.”

Callaghan chuckled. “It's good to see you in high spirits.”

“You too,” Tadashi replied, and before he could go on, his text message alert went off. “Whoops – hang on.”

It was from Hiro. (“ _I saw a guy make a balloon animal today, he just pumped a tube full of air and tied it off, and I realized that's what a belly button is. I am a balloon animal._ ”) Tadashi blinked, and resolved to make sure Hiro went to bed as early as humanly possible after the showcase. Those all-nighters were taking their toll.

“Oh, by the way,” Callaghan went on. “I ran into Mr. Whitmore earlier today, but he left. I expect he'll be involved in the opening festivities later this evening, but he asked me to pass along a message. He wanted you to consider 'tomorrow morning at breakfast' as an appropriate time, though he declined to elaborate and seemed to think you'd know what he meant.”

Tadashi felt the grin creep up on him even before it showed on his face. “Thanks, Professor.”

“No need to thank me. I'll see you tonight at the showcase, then. I wish your brother luck.”

“He won't need it, Professor. See you later.”

They parted ways.

* * *

“How is he?” Gogo murmured to Tadashi. Hiro was almost up for his presentation, and somehow Tadashi had managed to leave off mother-henning him and step back to join the audience.

“Nervous,” was the brief reply. “But he'll be fine.”

And oh, but Gogo begged to differ when she saw Hiro looking so tiny up on stage with his finished headset and a single microbot grasped between his thumb and forefinger. He was jittery as a kindergartener in a school play, and Gogo longed to stick out her foot and trip the asshole who wandered away with a snooty look on his face. She stole a glance at Tadashi to see how he was taking this, just in time to see him pantomiming breathing. Ah. Mother Hen to the rescue.

The presentation went off without a hitch after that, of course. The kid managed to attract the entire room, which was a mixed blessing because Gogo was short. Scowling a little, she stuck out her elbows and defended her place at the front. There wasn't much point to that, in the end – Hiro took Fred's advice about microbot-surfing to heart, and his demonstration was all over the place in the best way possible. It ended with a standing ovation, no less – well, it would have, if everyone hadn't been standing already in the first place.

Gogo turned to check out the full crowd reaction, and laughed her ass off when she saw that the douchebag who'd walked away at the beginning had come back, just in time to catch the performance from the very back of the crowd.

She found Tadashi later on, across the audience from where Hiro waved his acceptance letter wildly while Cass swept him around in a hug. It was a quieter corner of the room, close by the double doors that led to the lobby and restrooms – quiet enough, apparently, for Tadashi to feel safe throwing himself into a hug with Fred and briefly burying his face in his shoulder. It was the closest to open PDA Gogo had ever seen them pull. They pulled apart quickly, as if remembering where they were, and she hung back until she saw Fred get called away by some of the show runner staff. They never saw her, and she knew they never saw her because even as Fred stepped away they held hands for as long as possible, before distance finally pulled their fingers apart. Fred moved off, and she dawdled a bit longer before finally wandering over to Tadashi, who turned to her with a bright, innocent smile.

She lost it.

It took her by surprise – maybe it was a combination of the atmosphere, the secondhand pride in Hiro, and three months of pent-up glee, but whatever the cause, she couldn't help it. Uncontrollable laughter bubbled up, almost bending her double as she clutched at her sides and rode it out. She almost cried laughing, and the polite confusion on Tadashi's face was no help whatsoever.

“What's so funny?” he asked once she had a handle on it.

Gogo stared at him, considering her options. _Fuck it. Fuck everything._ “You,” she rasped, wiping her eyes. “Oh my God, _you_. It's better than soap operas, it's so much better, you don't even know.”

He blinked, alarm creeping into his expression – he was starting to catch on, finally. “What is?”

“Tell you what,” she went on, coughing. “Whenever you decide to spill the beans, I promise I'll pretend to be surprised. I won't even be smug about it, I swear to God.”

There was a little more alarm now. “Um – you mean-”

“You know what I mean.” Gogo smirked. “You, Fred, moons and eyes and big pizza pies, that shit. _Amore_.”

“Oh my God.” Tadashi covered his face, but Gogo could see his ears turn pink.

Sh couldn't resist another dig. “Seriously, looking at Hiro and then looking at you two, I forget who's supposed to be the dumb teenager here.”

“Oh my God,” Tadashi repeated. “How long have you known?”

“Technically? For about a year.”

“A year?” Tadashi let his hands drop. “But we just got together at the end of May.”

“Yes you did,” Gogo agreed. “You're welcome, and I apologize.”

Tadashi frowned. “What are you sorry for?”

“Lying.”

“About?”

“Having food poisoning.”

It took a moment for it to click. Gogo could see the step-by-step progression on Tadashi's face. Confusion, then thoughtful pondering, and finally dumbfounded comprehension. “You _didn't_.”

“I kinda did.”

“You set us up?”

“Well someone had to do _something_ ,” Gogo said with a roll of her eyes. She looked at Tadashi again, really looked at him, and her heart went out to him a little. He'd gone from utter joy to anxious uncertainty in a matter of seconds, like she'd knocked his feet out from under him and he hadn't quite found his balance. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin his day. “Tadashi, hey.” Her voice softened a little, and she punched his shoulder lightly. “It's cool. It's all cool. You know that, right? I'm seriously happy for you – both of you. And the others don't know, I haven't breathed a word. I've noticed stuff recently 'cause I know already, but I don't think Honey Lemon or Wasabi have.” He looked grateful, and she shrugged as if warding it off. “And between you and me – do you have any idea how seriously cute you are around each other? You're making me see rainbows, man. It's a good thing. I'm for it.”

Tadashi's shoulders slumped a little, and relief showed in the small grin on his face. “We were gonna tell you guys tomorrow. Go out for breakfast, y'know? Hiro I'm telling later tonight.”

“They're all gonna be cool with it,” Gogo assured him. It wasn't an empty reassurance either; she did believe that, and if by some nonsensical twist of fate they weren't, then she'd make them cool with it. “Your bro too, I mean he's kind of a little shit, but-”

“Gogo, c'mon.”

“-But he clearly thinks the sun shines out of your ass, so honestly you could probably date a walrus and he'd go along with it.”

Tadashi hugged her. Her reaction time was usually better, but it had been sudden and she was slower than usual. “Sorry,” he said, his voice slightly muffled. “I know you're not really a hugger, but it just hit me that – me and Fred – you helped make that happen.” His voice sounded thick and oh no, oh no, was he going to cry on her? The hug was one thing, but she wasn't sure she could handle tears. “And that – just – thank you. _Thank you_.”

Oh great, now she was choking up a little. Awkwardly, she patted him on the back. “My nose is full of pomegranate fumes right now, what gives?”

“Borrowed my aunt's deodorant. I was in a hurry.”

“Okay then. You're welcome, fruit-pits. Any time.”

Later, she would curse herself for not hugging back.

* * *

There was laughter on Tadashi's face when Fred saw him again. “What's funny?”

“Nothing. I'll tell you later.” The others were gathering, ready to leave, so Tadashi leaned in for one quick word. “Listen, me and Hiro are gonna catch up with you guys at the cafe later, okay? There's stuff I wanted to tell him.”

“Gonna shower him with proud brotherly love?” Fred asked. “Or are you gonna ask him to fix his fly?”

Tadashi had been about to reply, but broke off with a stifled snicker. “You saw that?”

“Don't worry, I think everyone else was too thoroughly wowed,” Fred muttered back. “I already knew what was coming, so I could notice stuff like that. Break it to him gently, will you?”

“Haha, right. Gently. Something like that.” Tadashi smirked slightly. “But anyway, I'll see you back at the cafe, all right?'

Fred's eyes flickered to the side. “You gonna tell him now?”

“I... might. I think so.” Tadashi frowned thoughtfully. “I'd like to tell him before the others. But I'd also kind of like it if you were there when I did it. So... maybe.”

Well, I'm good either way.” Fred reached over to surreptitiously squeeze his hand. “Don't take too long, okay?”

Tadashi squeezed back. “I won't. We'll be back before you know it.”

“Kay.” Fred let go of his hand.

Why, why did he let go of his hand?

* * *

Fred had been missing out, never coming to the Lucky Cat Cafe. The coffee was good, the pastries were better, and even when it was closed the atmosphere was awesome. He'd have to come in during opening hours – nothing was better than the atmosphere of a coffee shop full of customers, except maybe free food. And from the smell of it, Cass was whipping up something amazing.

Would it be weird to come here for a date, once they all knew about him and Tadashi?

Nursing a half-finished cinnamon mocha, he checked the clock again. “Back before you know it” was taking an awful long time. They hadn't hit traffic on the way, had they? His foot jiggled with impatience.

“He's got his phone off,” Wasabi grumbled.

“Maybe they stopped for ice cream or something on the way back,” Honey suggested, adjusting her grip on her cup. “In which case they'd better bring us back some, or there's no excuse.”

“I'm starving,” Gogo groaned, tipping her head back against the back of her chair. “And whatever Cass is making smells _so good_. I swear, if she gets done and they're not back, I'm not waiting.”

The landline phone rang, and Fred relaxed a little. If Tadashi was calling, it probably meant he was either on his way or almost there. It didn't ring again, meaning Cass had picked up. The others fell quiet, waiting on their hostess to poke her head in with news. They heard her voice briefly, but through the door and the wall it was impossible to make out the words. It went quiet for a while, but when Cass didn't come out to pass anything along, Fred shrugged and assumed that the phone call was unrelated. Honey and Gogo exchanged a shrug and an eyeroll.

Fred sent another text – _We miss you please come home :(_ – and was just settling down to finish his cup of coffee when the door opened. He glanced up, eager for news, as Cass stepped out into the room.

She had gone into the kitchen with a youthful bounce in her step and a smile deepening the lines on her face, and she came out with rigid calm. She stood straight without a single strand of hair out of alignment, her face cool and utterly serene. But it looked frozen on her, as if the slightest tap would shatter it.

It certainly drew their attention, if nothing else.

Throat bobbing a little as she swallowed, Cass quietly cleared her throat.

“There was a fire,” she began.

And there had been. No one knew what the cause was just yet, but the auditorium had burned beyond repair – the auditorium filled with lovingly-designed machines, technology displays, plaques and medals awarded to people no one remembered anymore... and two human beings.

Tadashi Hamada had gone inside, witnesses said. No one saw him come out.

Fred heard all of this and more. He heard it, he absorbed words and their individual and collective meaning, and his mind went no further than that because he believed absolutely none of it. What an absurd idea. Tadashi, dying in a fire? No. Delayed, maybe, especially now that there was a fire involved. But he would never die. No, Fred thought as he climbed into the back of Wasabi's van to ride back to campus. They would arrive, and Tadashi would be waiting there shaken but okay, clinging to Hiro like a lifeline, and they would go home and put this behind them.

Beside him, Honey sniffled but did no more than that. Gogo was as tense as a coiled spring. Wasabi and Cass sat up front. No one spoke. Traffic sucked.

But they made it. Wasabi took the first remotely legal-looking parking space, and they got out and hurried to the auditorium. The crowd got worse, and the dull murmur of voices and footsteps wormed its way into their tight silence. The air smelled of smoke, and a haze made vision blurry. Fred's eyes watered, and he strained them further searching for Tadashi.

Because he didn't believe it. Even when he noticed the pitying looks from vaguely familiar faces in the crowd, the way people noticed them only to look away and cast their eyes downward. Even when the crowd thinned enough for them to see the smoldering wreckage of the auditorium, the police and the ambulances and the fire engines, he did not believe.

_He's not dead_. It became the rhythm of his steps. _He's not dead_.

He didn't believe until they broke the crowd and there was Hiro, sitting and staring at the burned-out building, frozen and barely blinking. Tadashi was nowhere to be found, and the only sign that he had been there at all was his hat, clutched vicelike in Hiro's curled fingers.

And then he knew.

Because there was danger about and Hiro's hands were scraped, and Tadashi was nowhere to be found, and the only thing more impossible than Tadashi being dead was Tadashi leaving Hiro when he was scared and hurt.

_Hiro comes first_. That was what he had said. Nothing came between him and Hiro's safety, not school or friends or the end of the world. Not even Fred.

So, really, there was only one explanation.

Hiro spoke when Cass's arms were around him, and Fred caught the words as he stared, transfixed, at the ruined auditorium.

“Callaghan was still in there, and-” Seconds stretched after the word, and Fred dug his nails into his palms to keep back the urge to shake Hiro by the shoulders and shout _What? And what?_ “He just ran in, I couldn't stop him, I _told_ him not to, but he didn't listen, he _always listens so why didn't he listen?_ ” Words tumbled out in a voice raw from breathing smoke, until Cass was clutching him close and he was screaming them into her chest.

The others gathered around the Hamadas, as if shielding them from the smoke and the crowd, but Fred hung back, creeping away step by step while their attention was away from him. He didn't stop until they were out of sight, until he had put the crowd between himself and the place where Tadashi died. He didn't stop until he had left behind every face he recognized, so that no one who knew him would be there to see him stagger over to a trash can and be sick.

On an empty stomach he fumbled out his phone and somehow managed to call Heathcliff for a ride home. He hung up without remembering exactly what he'd said, before fleeing the campus. He found the street corner he often used as a clandestine pick-up point and sat down on the curb. His head swam, and he curled up to rest it on his knees and shut his eyes. Someone texted him, and he turned off his phone.

Heathcliff found him like that. Somewhere down the line Fred had shut out the world, and only let it back in reluctantly when he felt Heathcliff's hand on his shoulder. He looked up with a start, blinking in bewilderment at his butler's face. Heathcliff said something, and Fred nodded and got into the back of the car. There, he curled in on himself again, drawing his knees up to his chest as Heathcliff started the engine.

“Tadashi's dead,” he said, by way of explanation.

There. He'd said it out loud. He'd made it real. The words tasted even worse than the bile he'd spat out not ten-fifteen minutes ago.

For the rest of the ride home he stayed dead-silent. Heathcliff did not press him for details. Heathcliff never pressed.

Past Caroline's gate, in the safety of his family's vast garage, Fred slipped out of the car feeling vaguely unreal. Everything was hazy and cottony and far away, as if he'd bundled himself in blankets and kept the world back at arm's length. There was no disbelief anymore, but there wasn't much of anything else to take its place.

If he said anything, he forgot it the moment the words were out of his mouth. As he stepped into the house he felt Heathcliff's hand brush briefly against his shoulder, but nothing more. He shrugged against it, in case Heathcliff was going to try for his attention again, and moved to the foot of the stairs.

He should hurt, some part of him realized. He should feel sad, that was what you were supposed to feel when people died. Sad or angry, or bargaining or something – what was the order of steps, again? He'd already been through denial.

But now all he could feel was a whole lot of nothing. The only part of him that hurt was his throat, and that was from puking.

His bedroom door closed behind him, and he blinked in vague surprise. When had he gotten here? That was fast.

After a moment of deliberation, he turned on his phone again. His inbox was full of messages – five from Honey, three from Wasabi, fifteen from Gogo. He read the first few from Honey, the usual _Where are you, Are you okay, I'm so-so-so-sorry_ fare, and deleted the rest. He tossed his phone to the nearest chair, and the clatter sounded muffled to him.

The strength fled from him as he neared his bed, and he sank down to sit on the mattress. He ran his hands over the bedspread, curling his fingers to feel the cloth, to feel _something_. His hand slipped under his pillow, and his fingertips brushed something that wasn't part of the bed. But it was soft and familiar, and Fred pushed aside his pillow to uncover it.

And there it was, cream-colored and rumpled, one of Tadashi's sweaters. He must have left it on one of his recent visits, and Fred had shoved it under his pillow to keep his parents from noticing (unlikely) or the staff from touching or moving it (likely).

Fred picked up the sweater and pulled it into his lap. It must have been days since Tadashi had worn this. The body heat was long gone, but other than that, the softness of well-worn cotton was exactly the same as it had been before. Fred rubbed the sleeve between his fingers, trying to remember when Tadashi had left it, what they had done on that date, what they'd said.

_What he'd said._ What was the last thing he'd ever said to Tadashi? What was the last thing Tadashi had ever said to him?

_Don't take too long, okay?_

_I won't. We'll be back before you know it_.

It was like taking a volume knob and twisting it violently to the right – zero to a thousand in less than a second, from cold numbness to a vice of needles around his heart. He may have cried out, but he wasn't sure because everything was pain, pain, and more pain. Everything he'd thought he should feel, from the words “There was a fire,” out of Cass Hamada's mouth, to the moment he had picked up Tadashi's forgotten cardigan, flooded him all at once. He went from sitting on the bed to crouched on the floor, curled around the sweater, this one pitiful physical scrap of Tadashi he had left. He rocked back and forth clutching it desperately to his chest as if he thought he might lose it too. (And who knew? He let go of Tadashi and lost him, after all.)

And he cried. No, he didn't just cry. Crying was sniffles and sobs and tears, maybe puffy eyes and redness. But there was all of that and more now, as he pressed his face into Tadashi's sweater and _screamed_. Anything to drive back the hurt, but it wouldn't go away because the sweater still smelled like Tadashi and Tadashi was gone, _Tadpole is gone_.

In the middle of his blind haze of tears and rawness in his throat, Fred felt arms around him, gentle hands working the sweater loose from his fingers, and he went from scream-sobbing into Tadashi's sweater to soaking the lapel of Heathcliff's tux. He said things – words probably, an explanation maybe, a coherent explanation probably not. Heathcliff did not answer or shush him. He simply held Fred and let him cry. He was there, and that was all he needed to do.

* * *

The poor boy was a wreck, trying to calm himself and explain himself and cry his heart out all at once. Heathcliff had not been able to glean much from him, but he had other avenues of information. and what he had gathered from news reports and acquaintances... none of it was pleasant.

Such a wonderful young man, gone. It would have broken his heart, if his charge's tears had not already done so.

Heathcliff had no children of his own, and moments like these made him glad of that. Frederick's pain was all he could have borne, for all that the young man was not his son.

But those thoughts were dangerous thoughts. And this was dangerous enough, so much so that Heathcliff balked at the thought of speaking of it.

There was a time-honored etiquette to serving, to being a proper butler. There were rules, there were stations and boundaries, lines that were never crossed.

But then there were exceptions.


	17. Painted Smiles

Fred gave himself a full forty-eight hours of radio silence. It was enough – just enough for the hurt to die down to an ever-present but dull and manageable ache, and for the crying fits to come less and less often. They didn't go away completely, but he could predict them. He could avoid things that might set them off, and he could hold them back just long enough to find somewhere quiet to let them out.

Finally he let himself stop scaring the crap out of his friends, and turned his phone back on.

All three of them plus Cass Hamada had collectively flooded him with text messages and calls. Fred scrolled through Honey and Wasabi's, wincing at the gradually increasing panic in both of their messages. He read a few of Gogo's, noted the text-to-swear-word ratio, and put his phone down again, daunted.

He must have really scared them. It was hard enough what they were going through, without him going and vanishing on them.

With a guilty look at his phone, Fred hesitated and chewed over what he could possibly say. Shame gnawed at him. That had been stupid, turning off his phone – after Tadashi, what must have been going through their minds when they couldn't reach him?

And yet...

He hadn't been in anything remotely close to the right state of mind to deal with them. He was barely ready now.

Wiping his eyes, Fred picked up his phone again and sent out a mass text.

 _I'm here I'm okay I'm sorry._ He dithered over it, but it wasn't like he needed pretty words and snappy wit. All he needed was to let them know that he hadn't gone and died too.

Gogo was the first to get a call through to him – an actual call. His stomach twisted at the thought of talking to her, but guilt won out over cowardice. He answered it.

“Hello?”

“You dumb _fuck_ , what the hell were you thinking?”

Fred took her words like a punch to the gut. It was _wrong_. Not Gogo calling him a dumb fuck, that was pretty close to normal. But she was not supposed to sound like that when she did, all broken and jagged-edged and hoarsely quiet. “Gogo-”

“I've been out of my goddamn mind, Fred.” She wasn't angry or yelling, and Fred wished desperately that she were. “We all have. You don't call, you don't text or e-mail, your Skype is offline, your phone is off, and _none of us know where you live or how to check on you_. Are you...” She broke off, and Fred could imagine her wrestling with herself, searching for a question less useless than _Are you okay?_

Fred waited.

“Did you hurt yourself?"

The question caught him off guard, startling him into honesty. “Wh- no.”

“That your final answer, Fred?”

“How could you think that?”

“I don't know, Fred, you've been off the radar for two days and I don't know _what_ to think.” Gogo sounded worn out, twisting the knife further. He could feel it coming, the beginnings of another crying fit, but he clapped his hand over his mouth to physically hold it back. _Later._ Finally, he took his hand away and answered.

“I'm... okay. But I needed time to just... wrap my head around it. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...” He let it end there.

“Okay. It's okay. I'm not mad, just... had to be sure. We'll get together later – call the others first. They've been panicking worse than me.”

“Okay.” Fred managed to hang up before he burst into tears again.

He could do this. He'd call Honey, then he'd call Wasabi, and they'd... something. They'd figure this out. No – he'd call Wasabi first. Honey would cry, and if she cried, he might too. He needed more time to gather himself, to prepare.

But he could do it. He could be there for them.

* * *

They got together for lunch, if you could call it that. No one was really in the mood to eat. But they gathered at a cafe – not the Lucky Cat – and each of them ordered at least something to drink.

Tadashi had been dead for almost three days.

It was Fred's first real test of himself, of his self control. He walked in, settled down, and greeted his friends with a smile that was half brave and half cowardly. Smiling took a lot of effort, but at the same time, as long as he was smiling, he wouldn't cry. They didn't need him crying. He was the levity. The sprinkle of sunshine when things got grim, and God did they need him now. That was the just the way things were. Laughter was too much to ask for, but he could fix the smile to his face and make gentle little jokes that brought similar smiles to Honey Lemon and Wasabi.

He could do this.

And when the sadness welled up again, he fought it back, kept that Stepford smile where it belonged and doled out the pats and the hugs and the hand-clasps.

He could do this.

He was on his second club soda when Honey broke. She had held out magnificently, but the tears finally came in an unstoppable flood. She tried to block them, to apologize and leave the room, but her legs would not even carry her to her feet. When Fred, from the chair next to her, leaned over and pulled her into a tight hug, she let the flood poor out into his shirt, her cries muffled against his chest. Gogo rubbed slow, calming circles on her back and glared at anyone who dared to gawk. Wasabi had a full box of tissues at the ready when Honey pulled back with puffy eyes and tears shining on her face.

Honey was a pretty crier, if there ever was one. Her face didn't contort so much and the redness in her eyes made her look pitiable instead of ugly. She wasn't like Fred, howling and bawling an ocean and two rivers of snot. No, that was the last thing any of them needed to see.

So Fred smiled gently and made jokes when it was appropriate – light, easy ones that touched no nerves and made them attempt to smile too – and he held his head high as he ignored his pain like walking on a bad foot to hide a limp. And all the while he felt alone, more alone than he had ever felt before because none of them knew what he had lost. They all knew he missed Tadashi but none of them knew that he had lost Tadpole, that three months of breathless joy and nail-biting anxiety and a bright, warm, shimmering kind of love had gone up in flames. They didn't know, and Callaghan had known but he was gone too and how was he supposed to tell them now, without Tadashi by his side holding his hand?

So he smiled. Because what else could he do?

* * *

Now this... this, Fred wasn't sure he could do.

Hiro had isolated himself even more thoroughly than Fred had. Since the fire, the closest they had come to hearing from him was Cass's laconic but fairly regular updates. From what she had said, Hiro had shut himself in his room and refused to come out. He ate little and spoke less. He hadn't appeared at the candlelight vigil that the SFIT student body had organized. Fred hadn't seen him since stumbling upon the wreckage the night of the fire, when they'd found him clutching his brother's hat.

Well, he was about to see him now. It wasn't like Hiro could duck out of a wake when it was being held in his own home.

Fred considered dressing to the nines for this. He could have – his parents had made sure he had no shortage of black-tie attire. It just felt wrong, somehow, like he was showing off wealth that no one even realized he had. He settled for a white dress shirt, black dress slacks, and a tie. It still felt woefully inadequate.

He also considered bringing the cardigan to give back. He considered it for less time than he considered his outfit, and left it folded on his pillow.

It was selfish, and he half-hated himself for it, but the thought of parting with it brought a tearing feeling to his chest. So he kept it.

Walking into Tadashi's home, for the first time in what felt like years, hurt more than Fred could possibly say. He came so close to turning tail and running, but Honey was next to him and Wasabi was behind him, and he needed to do this. So he traded his cut-and-pasted smile for a somber look, and stuck close to his friends for comfort. For theirs or his own, it didn't matter much.

Fred wandered through the gathering like a lost thing, avoiding the eyes of the other guests. He didn't know most of them, relations and family friends of the Hamadas that didn't know Fred from Adam. They might have, if only there had been more time, but there hadn't.

It was a while before Hiro made an appearance. At first his relatives crowded him, and he backed away like a cornered deer until Cass politely shooed them away from him. After that, Hiro stood warily like he was about to bolt, until Honey went forward to him – gently, of course – and coaxed words out of him. Whether or not it was enough to qualify as conversation, Fred was too far away to hear. He stayed far away, until guilt wore away at his timidity.

Eventually he gathered up the courage to approach Hiro himself. He could tell from the way Hiro's eyes flickered that the kid saw him coming, and he fixed his face into a sort of glum smile.

 _Is this right? Is this what my face is supposed to look like in this situation?_ That question was right up there with _What can I even say to him?_ He was good with words. It was his thing. He could hack out an A- essay in three hours, six pages double-spaced in twelve-point Times New Roman, but he couldn't think of what to say to his boyfriend's grieving younger brother. Hiro didn't look in the mood for jokes.

What he eventually settled for was “How're you holdng up?” because it was hardly the first inadequacy that he had settled for today, and it probably wouldn't be the last.

Hiro shrugged, and that was about it for a response. That was fair, Fred conceded. That was about all a question like that really deserved. His smile faded, and he looked away, feeling weirdly ashamed of himself. “Yeah.” It came out quieter than he'd meant it to, barely above a rough whisper. “Yeah, me too.”

Hiro looked at him like he was half-dead and exhausted. Fred tried to imagine what Hiro might be thinking, what he'd say if he had the words for it. _Probably that he's alone_ , he thought. _That no one on the planet knows or cares what he's going through._

Maybe, a small part of him added, he's wondering why Tadashi had to go and leave like that, to do something as silly as run into a burning building on the off chance that he could save a life.

It would make sense, because those thoughts had been taking up Fred's mind lately, too.

“There's... really nothing I can say,” he admitted, lowering his voice. “It hurts and I don't know if it's gonna stop.” It was hard to speak through a sore throat and held-back tears. “Let me know if it does for you, okay?”

“Okay.” It was faint and quiet, but it was a word. It was speech. It was _something_.

As Fred moved away again, his eyes fell on the photo of Tadashi given a place of honor on the center table.

 _You said you were coming back, Tadpole. I thought he came first_.

He almost forgot to put the smile back, after he left.

* * *

Hiro slipped off the radar after that, and Fred began to understand a little more clearly just how badly he'd scared his friends when he'd done the same. At least they had Cass giving them updates. Fred hadn't even given them that much.

He carried on in the same vein, especially when the start of the school year arrived. The shock of the fire had died down, and the rumor mills were up and running. The cause of the fire was the juiciest topic, and Fred would have to walk around SFIT with ear plugs in to avoid hearing about it. The cause still wasn't certain. Some blamed faulty wiring, others pointed fingers at the student-made inventions, and a few whispered behind their hands about foul play.

It made Fred want to smack them across the mouth, but he pressed those feelings back behind his smile. He still had mascot duty, after all. Couldn't have a sad sack moping around in a dumb lizard costume, that wouldn't do at all. The smile mask was unbelievably helpful.

Mentally, it was tiring. His head would hit the pillow before ten, and then he'd be out for nine and a half hours. Even then, he still felt like he wasn't sleeping enough.

Worst of all, his friends were beginning to notice. Honey kept trying to coax him to talk, Wasabi would shower him with helpful advice, and Gogo... well, she didn't really do much of anything, but he could feel her watching him. He tried to ignore it.

But it was Gogo who finally pulled him aside. It was sort of a cross between pulling him aside and cornering him, really. He had been roaming the hallways aimlessly like a restless ghost, lost in thought, until Gogo appeared out of nowhere with an unreadable face. She grabbed him by the elbow and just kept walking, neither breaking stride nor letting go. Deaf to his confused protests, she towed him along until they were in the study lounge. Two students were already there, a pair of Comp Sci freshmen.

“Out,” Gogo said coldly, in that tone of voice that could not be defied on pain of pain. The two girls obeyed quickly, and Gogo made damn sure they left before shutting the door and rounding on him.

“This stops. Now.”

Fred blinked at her. “Um. What?”

“Cut the crap, just – you.” She flapped her hand at him. “All of this. Hanging around with that dumb fake smile on your face, and then going off alone to – you think we don't know you let it out when we can't see? Who do you think you're fooling?”

“I-” Fred could only gape at her, tongue-tied. “I just-”

“Look, I _get it_ ,” Gogo went on. “You've... you've been great, okay? You've been like a pillar of sanity this whole time, and honestly you're half the reason I haven't lost my goddamn mind yet, but you're cracking and we can all see it. You just – you don't _have_ to, all the time. It's fine.”

“It's _not_ fine,” Fred snapped, surprising himself. He shut his mouth tightly, wrestling to get a hold of himself. The smile would be out of place, so he forced his face straight instead.

“See? Stuff like that, it's okay if you do that in front of us. We can take it, I swear. Why do you think we can't take it?” Gogo broke off, shaking her head. “You've been playing comic relief and letting everyone lean on you, but it's an act and we know it's an act. And if you don't break it you're gonna go crazy.”

“No.” Fred shook his head against the rising hurt. She didn't get it, she thought she got it but she didn't, not really, and it wasn't her fault. Fred was taking the reason to the grave. “No, I can't just-”

“You're hurting,” Gogo said bluntly. She hesitated, shutting her eyes as if grasping for words, and continued quietly. “And that's fine, because you have more of a reason than any of us.”

Fred's heart twisted , but he still shook his head. “What, because I knew him longer? Gogo, he was-”

“I know,” Gogo said tightly.

“-close with all of us, and I – what?” Fred broke off.

“I said I know,” Gogo repeated. She was looking him straight in the eye, as if willing him to hear her thoughts.

He felt cold, because _no, no she couldn't possibly –_ “Know what?”

“About you, and – and Tadashi.” Gogo averted her eyes for a moment before looking at him again. “Fred, I _know_.”

Fred gaped at her, dumbstruck.

“I've known this whole time, I-I didn't say anything to the others because you were keeping quiet, so I figured...” Her voice trailed off. Fred's eyes burned with oncoming tears, but he kept them fixed on her. “You think no one understands what you're going through and you have to work through it yourself, but you're _wrong_ , Fred. I know you loved him, I've known since it started, and-”

“Why didn't you say anything?” Fred blurted. He didn't mean to sound so accusing, but it came out that way. “You knew the whole time, why didn't you tell us?”

“I – because-” Gogo broke off, staring at him like she wasn't sure. He'd never seen her look unsure before – ever. She shut her eyes again, her throat bobbed as she swallowed, and when she opened them he could see the shine of tears. “Because... I was... I was having fun, okay?” Her voice broke, and she looked away bitterly. “It was like - I was so smart, right? So fucking clever, keeping secrets and dancing around in the background like an idiot-” She wiped her eyes, and her voice shook uncontrollably when she continued. “Stupid shit like faking sick and ditching you guys three months ago-” Fred's pulse almost stopped when he heard that, when he realized what it _meant_. “-or shoving you alone in a room whenever I could, and just – treating you guys like a game, but it wasn't a game, and I didn't _mean_ to. I swear-” She broke off with a noise that he would have sworn was a sob if it wasn't Gogo he was talking to. “I never thought this would happen, Fred, I'm sorry-”

It was then that Fred did the most dangerous thing he could have done. He stepped forward and cut Gogo off with a hug.

He felt her freeze, but before she could react he started talking. “Thank you.” She didn't respond, so he went on before she could change her mind. “You helped. I don't - I don't know if it would've happened if you hadn't, but you did, and I got three months. Three months, Gogo, do you even know how much that was?” The tears were coming out, and his voice was wobbling, but he pushed on anyway. “I-I could have had so much less if you didn't help, and just – thank you. _Thank you_.”

Gogo hugged him back, which was impossible – but that was fine, because this was a lot better than the last impossible thing he'd seen happen. “You're welcome. You're not alone, got it? You're not alone. I'm sorry, Fred. I'm so, so sorry.”

She let him cry into her shoulder. It was as close to right as he had ever felt since losing Tadashi.

* * *

Fred let himself put the smile away more often, but it still came out on occasion. For example, he put it on when they sent a video message to Hiro.

He also put it on the night he offered his friends the sanctuary of his home.

It was a necessity then, more than it had ever been before. The fire had been a mysterious accident before, leaving him to rage at something invisible. But now –

Now there was an arsonist. Now there was a _killer_.

He mustn't seek revenge, he knew that. He'd read too many classics and comics to fall into that trap. That way led to madness and questionable choices and, on occasion, supervillainy.

If played right, it could fuel a hero's origin story.

But hearing that this man in the mask – this maniac that had just tried to drown them – had started the fire, had stolen from Hiro, had _killed Tadashi_ , lit a fire in him that pressed back the hurt in his heart in an entirely new way.

And so he put on the smile.

There was nothing he had to hide; he just needed to change how they saw it. The smile spread across his face, pulling his lips back to bare his teeth, and his hands curled into fists at his knees, and it looked like excitement – which it technically was. Just not the kind of excitement his friends thought it was – a hero complex. Too many comic books. Fred just being Fred.

Not revenge.

So when Hiro offered them a chance for justice, a chance to fight, a chance to find the fire-starter and make him pay, Fred latched on with an eagerness that burned.


	18. Epilogue

Fred was on the ground, and there were sirens coming.

The rubble was everywhere, scattered from when the portal had torn the building and surrounding area apart, and from later when it had finally come crashing to the ground. The area was in ruin, the dust was high and thick as fog, and Callaghan knelt on the ground before him, wide-eyed and unarmed and looking stricken.

Maybe it wasn't dust – maybe it was smoke. Oh well, it was gray and thick and impossible to see beyond a few yards, and Fred judged it safe enough.

He stepped out of his suit.

Dimly he could hear the others' voices calling to him. If he focused he could pick out each individual one – Honey jockeying with Wasabi for the highest pitch, Hiro's raspy questioning tone, and – was Gogo swearing? Not important. What was important was that he was standing over Callaghan, both of them unmasked, looking at each other face to face for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

Had Callaghan seen him without his mask yet? During the battle? During the encounter on the island? Had he known who he was? Come to think of it, that first night on the docks had been dark and loud and confusing. Had Callaghan even seen him with the others back then? And if he had, had he made the connection later on?

Also not important. Whatever Callaghan had or had not known then, he knew now.

Fred looked the murderer in the eye. Callaghan looked back, and Fred had never seen the old professor look so afraid.

It unsettled him, drying his mouth and quickening his pulse. It almost felt like excitement, in a twisted sort of way. _Of me. Callaghan's afraid of me._

And why wouldn't he be? Callaghan knew – he had been the only one besides Gogo to know. He knew that Fred loved Tadashi with all his heart. He knew that they had been happy, that last day. He knew that Fred's world would never be the same again. And he knew that it was his fault. He _should_ be afraid. He had a good reason to be afraid.

Fred's fist slammed into Callaghan's face, and pain shot up to his wrist as the thin brittle bones and joints of his fingers broke past cartilage and came up against the solid bone meant to protect Callaghan's entire brain from injury. Blood dripped down Callaghan's face from his shattered nose, and Fred tried to feel satisfied at that. He tried to feel happy about making Callaghan bleed for what he had taken from him, when Callaghan knew exactly who he was and what he had lost.

But all he felt was his own hand, a throbbing mass of pain.

“ Huh,” he said wonderingly. He glanced down at the smear of blood across his battered, swelling fingers. “That didn't help. Now I'm sad  _ and  _ my hand hurts.” His voice broke on the last few words.

He was out of time, in any case. There were fuzzy, indistinct figures drawing nearer through the thick haze – cops? News crews?

Not important.

Fred climbed into his suit again, waved a signal to his friends with his uninjured hand, and put the smile back on his face as he left Callaghan huddled and bleeding in the wreckage.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
